DD8 wants to quit swimming - should I let her??

[SnottyLittleMango]

DD8 started swimming classes age 5 - classes are in short supply where we are so she was on a waiting list for ages. She absolutely loved it from day 1 and has progressed quite quickly and is now at Stage 5. Since the Easter break she's had to pause her lessons as they clashed with extra dance class rehearsals before a show (we let her choose which she'd prefer). The show was just before the half-term break so she should have gone back to swimming last week, but out of the blue she is adamant she hates swimming and doesn't want to go back. She can't give a reason other than that she doesn't want to anymore, and when we try to persuade her she gets very upset and tearful - very unusual for her. Either me or DH always stay and watch lessons so we know there have been no issues e.g. accidents, getting told off by the instructor. We don't want to force her to do something she's so adamant about but I don't feel she's a strong enough swimmer to be in the pool on her own on holiday yet. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice appreciated and thanks for reading if you got this far!

This is a difficult one because I’m very much of the opinion children shouldn’t be forced into activities they don’t want but swimming for me is in another category. It’s an essential life skill. If she’s unhappy in the classes could one of you take her at weekends and go in the pool with her instead? If she has the basics nailed then maybe time in the water will give her confidence and she’ll improve or possibly feel able to go back to classes?

Can she swim well enough to manage socially i.e jump in, do a few lengths, go on water slides, not panic if she falls in, swim in clothes etc?

II’m not sure what level stage 5 is but it sounds quite advanced? Can she swim 50 metres? If so i would let her quit. If not, maybe she needs a break ir a different class?

Google tells me :
What Is Considered A Competent Swimmer? Ultimately, completing Stage 5 is a good standard to aim for before discussing the option to stop learning to swim. An important part of Stage 5 focuses on being able to swim long distances, demonstrate the skills to make a rescue and attempting to swim whilst wearing clothes.

So can she actually swim better than you think ? Has she successfully finished her Level 5 ?

PS i wouldnt let a primary aged child alone in a pool regardless of swimming ability, it isnt a good idea for anyone to swim completely alone as anyone can gave an accident or get cramp.

Why would you want her to continue with something she seems to hate for the sake of a fortnight’s holiday when she may or may not want to get in the pool on her own? And surely level 5 means she’s capable of swimming a length or two on her own with you watching from the side, if she did decide to get into the pool?

'Swimming is a life skill' has been indoctrinated into people by the swimming lesson industry but is not as true as you think. The likelihood of randomly falling in water is very low and in many extremely unlikely situations even a strong swimmer wouldn't survive anyway.

If she can swim well enough to enjoy water safely, play in the sea, jump in, go on a water slide, swim a few lengths, then that is plenty. The only reason for needing more lessons is if they want to swim competitively which the vast majority don't. If she doesn't want to do lessons any more, just take her swimming frequently and let her actually enjoy the water.

So many kids never go swimming for enjoyment, only for lessons. A friend has a competitive swimmer aged 11 and admitted they never go and play at the pool. Such a shame, like forcing kids to read phonics books rather than making reading enjoyable.

My kids, now teens, love swimming for fun, hardly had any lessons. Gained the most confidence in the water on holidays messing around in the pool every day, and playing in the sea (we live nearby so go to the beach a lot)

Following because we're considering the same for my DD who was tearful for the first time about swimming lessons. She was happy in the lesson but has lost the enthusiasm. She's only stage 3 though, done it for nearly a year.

Thank you, and yes I agree re it being a life skill, I wouldn't feel the same at all if she wanted to give up her dance class. It's more complicated as I have an eye condition which makes it risky for me to go in a swimming pool so I've never been able to take her, DH does occasionally but finds it more difficult to fit in around work.

swimming lessons are probably giving you a fake perspective around water safety. Your 8 year old shouldn’t be left unsupervised in the pool on holiday - so that shouldn’t be a factor on taking or not taking lessons.

Yes she can, they have done the water safety, swimmingvjn clothes lessons which ironically she loved!

We've just stopped with our 3 once they passed level 5.

Still do the occasional intensive week in school hols, so slowly working through level 6, but not fussed about whether they finish or not.

They go swimming with their friends now, and love that far more than the lessons!

We live by the sea and DD had lessons until she did her ‘mile’ (really a km). We had an agreement with her as to which level she had to reach before she stopped lessons, in the end she kept going past that.

if your DD has done the swim in clothes & lifesaving element I’d allow her to stop. Make sure she can float both in a costume & clothing (the instructor will be able to tell you) but if it’s causing her so much upset I’d stop the lessons.

And I too wouldn’t leave a child unsupervised in any body of water, it’s just an accident waiting to happen (other boisterous children, slip etc).

Good luck

I was a ‘good’ parent and got my children swimming lessons from little. Son was pretty decent but daughter hated it. Tears every time and she didn’t learn anything. What’s the point? I felt like a failure.. but they lark about in the pool at Butlin’s in the summer to the extent of their abilities (son actually forgot nearly everything) and both did well in their school swimming lessons. Life is too short. Never leave kids unattended around large water anyway.

Thank you, this has really made me think - she did really progress going in the pool and sea with DH on holiday, so maybe we do just try and focus on (supervised) fun from now on

Thanks for all the replies, and just to be clear we would never leave her unsupervised in water now; I was more worried about her getting into her teens wanting to go swimming with friends on holiday etc.