CMS called ...

RoundedSpecsRando · 2025-06-07T14:44:17+00:00

And they're investigating my ex! He has been paying the bare minimum for my(our) two kids DESPITE earning between £2.5-3.5k per month (while I earn 1k a month & have the kids 80% of the time). Unless something insane happens and their investigation comes back inconclusive, they said the payments would be backdated. He's so money obsessed...he thought £100 for two kids was extortionate! But still found money to go on several holidays last year! Fingers crossed their investigation will bring me some good news!!! Downside is they said it could take up to a year to complete...

itsnotachicken · 07/06/2025 19:44

Has he been declaring a lower wage to CMS?

Well done on the investigation news, you're just going to have to play the long game now but hopefully it will be sorted sooner.

I've just had news that my exH is going to have a deduction from earnings order put on him after not paying for nearly a year.

Bearlady · 08/06/2025 11:14

@RoundedSpecsRando how do they know for certain his income is more than he has declared? I have the same problem whereby there are arrears and ex hasn't paid hardly anything for a few years. Very frustrating and unfair due to him working cash in hand.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 08/06/2025 11:21

@RoundedSpecsRando is that 100 per month or per week? I always thought cms had access to p60's. I have no idea what the average is but how long has he only been paying this paltry sum?

ButItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 08/06/2025 11:30

Good luck! Hope they catch him out!

BlueandPinkSwan · 08/06/2025 11:37

Back in the days when CM was called CSA I was told my ex owed nearly £8k after fannying around not giving correct NI number, bank details and numerous other excuses. It dragged on and they started the required payment which he paid until the youngest reached age but I never did receive the out standing amount.

Rainbowqueeen · 08/06/2025 11:38

Great news. Really hope you hear something soon

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 08/06/2025 11:44

Good luck! I hope you and your kids have a lovely time with the money.

adviceneeded1990 · 08/06/2025 12:06

Good! Use the backdate to take your kids on a lovely holiday! Men like this don’t deserve a family.

Lovestotravel79 · 08/06/2025 12:14

Good Luck and I hope it works out for you. It’s a ridiculous set up but does depend on many things as I’m sure you know like time spent at dads etc, do they provide for any other additional children, outgoings etc. Even if it transpires there is a back payment he will most likely get away with a minimal amount/ wages deduction rather than a lump sum. If you earn £1000 you will be eligible for UC, child benefit etc.

lifeonmars100 · 08/06/2025 12:41

Good, I hope you get every penny that he owes you backdated. I never got any child support as the system was in its infancy in my day and my ex was good at ducking and diving. He managed to have 3 more kids after leaving me and our baby but seemed oblivous to how much it costs to raise a child. On the rare occasions when I was desperate for money I would ask him and he would chuck me a few quid and call it a "donation"!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 08/06/2025 12:58

BlueandPinkSwan · 08/06/2025 11:37

Back in the days when CM was called CSA I was told my ex owed nearly £8k after fannying around not giving correct NI number, bank details and numerous other excuses. It dragged on and they started the required payment which he paid until the youngest reached age but I never did receive the out standing amount.

Mine too! Only it was £30k, and they didn't catch up with him until the youngest was already at Uni. So he only paid the arrears for about five years and then retired, when he apparently no longer has to pay. He still owes me around £20k.

ArtfulScreamer · 08/06/2025 13:18

@lifeonmars100 "a donation" how very generous of him a true Prince among father's!
I'd have been tempted to leave a donation 9f my own on his doorstep in the hope he stepped in it 😆

MissRaspberryRipples · 08/06/2025 16:43

Hope it works out CMS have been nothing but useless for me with my son's poor excuse of a father. I can count on both hands how many payments I've had from them in the last 10 years. They promised to investigate and said they could freeze his bank accounts revoke his passport and have wage deductions taken from him to pay what he owed plus any ongoing child support. He's barely paid a penny in 15 years despite the old csa system being involved when my son was just a baby. They find him employed and give him two months to pay..in that time he quits his job so they are then unable to take the initial payments. He then gets another job which takes CMS ages to find him in only for him to quit again within less than two months of them requesting payments. It's a vicious cycle. Even when they find him on benefits they don't take payments from him. They tell me he's to pay £29 a month and it never comes..they're utterly ridiculous honestly. My son has nothing to thank him for. I've given up calling them because they always tell me the same thing that they can't get payments for him. I think two years ago they based a calculation on his 2015 tax year.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 08/06/2025 18:37

MissRaspberryRipples · 08/06/2025 16:43

Hope it works out CMS have been nothing but useless for me with my son's poor excuse of a father. I can count on both hands how many payments I've had from them in the last 10 years. They promised to investigate and said they could freeze his bank accounts revoke his passport and have wage deductions taken from him to pay what he owed plus any ongoing child support. He's barely paid a penny in 15 years despite the old csa system being involved when my son was just a baby. They find him employed and give him two months to pay..in that time he quits his job so they are then unable to take the initial payments. He then gets another job which takes CMS ages to find him in only for him to quit again within less than two months of them requesting payments. It's a vicious cycle. Even when they find him on benefits they don't take payments from him. They tell me he's to pay £29 a month and it never comes..they're utterly ridiculous honestly. My son has nothing to thank him for. I've given up calling them because they always tell me the same thing that they can't get payments for him. I think two years ago they based a calculation on his 2015 tax year.

I used to get the same. 'We can take away his driving licence/passport, get an attachment to earnings through HMRC...' etc etc. Made me want to scream 'WHY DON'T YOU DO IT THEN?' They seem to rely on the men being acquiescent and declaring themselves and paying up, it really doesn't seem as though they need to go to great lengths to hide, CMS just don't have the will to pursue them for payment.

Whoknowshere · 09/06/2025 10:14

Again and again I am shocked how the uk is so backwards in child payment from the main breadwinner who does not live with the kids. Already the amount calculated by CSM is a joke, it does not even cover a fraction of the real expenses of a child living with the parent. All men I know of who send just the CSM to their wives are better off than before, all the women are worst off. If you know otherwise please say, as honestly I spoke with loads of people and a few lawyers and they confirm it. On the top of it they are not even good in making sure all payments not done are given back??? Ffs! How are children protected in the uk???! They have rights, the right to have parents who provide at best for them.
it is not like these in other countries and I M shocked UK women are accepting it.
as an example in Italy the kids have to have the same lifestyle as before the divorce so each parent has to contribute proportionally to maintain that, every expense is counted and divided and each parent provides in a fair way, there is not a lump sum depending on the income. This is reviewed everytime the financial situation of one of the parents change. If someone does not pay they go in from of a judge and money or assets are confiscated.
in Switzerland on the top of that each parent is required to spend a good amount of time with their kids. No one weekend a month, but at least 40%. I know men who had to change jobs after they divorced as they were travelling extensively and then they were ordered to have the kids every other week…
the wellbeing of the kids is put first, the parents need to adapt. In the uk kids come last and the person not staying with the kids (usually the dad) can have a single life no issues, no responsibilities.

Whoknowshere · 09/06/2025 10:18

MissRaspberryRipples · 08/06/2025 16:43

Hope it works out CMS have been nothing but useless for me with my son's poor excuse of a father. I can count on both hands how many payments I've had from them in the last 10 years. They promised to investigate and said they could freeze his bank accounts revoke his passport and have wage deductions taken from him to pay what he owed plus any ongoing child support. He's barely paid a penny in 15 years despite the old csa system being involved when my son was just a baby. They find him employed and give him two months to pay..in that time he quits his job so they are then unable to take the initial payments. He then gets another job which takes CMS ages to find him in only for him to quit again within less than two months of them requesting payments. It's a vicious cycle. Even when they find him on benefits they don't take payments from him. They tell me he's to pay £29 a month and it never comes..they're utterly ridiculous honestly. My son has nothing to thank him for. I've given up calling them because they always tell me the same thing that they can't get payments for him. I think two years ago they based a calculation on his 2015 tax year.

£29 a month???!
not even a pet cost so low. Not even a gym membership. And this is the contribution of an adult person for his own kid?????
how is this possible in a developed country?
how no one is screaming??!
how is possible a tribunal is not involved and confiscate him things and gives him a court order that if he does not respect can serve time??! A court order should be able to take the money from his salary directly and if he changes job he should be able to teach it directly. We are in 2025… hrmc knows what ppl are doing! If he is unemployed part of his benefits should go straight to the kid! It is really not that hard.
every country manages it, why the UK is so weak on child rights?!

MissRaspberryRipples · 09/06/2025 15:59

Whoknowshere · 09/06/2025 10:18

£29 a month???!
not even a pet cost so low. Not even a gym membership. And this is the contribution of an adult person for his own kid?????
how is this possible in a developed country?
how no one is screaming??!
how is possible a tribunal is not involved and confiscate him things and gives him a court order that if he does not respect can serve time??! A court order should be able to take the money from his salary directly and if he changes job he should be able to teach it directly. We are in 2025… hrmc knows what ppl are doing! If he is unemployed part of his benefits should go straight to the kid! It is really not that hard.
every country manages it, why the UK is so weak on child rights?!

Edited

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It's honestly ridiculous £29 per month because he doesn't work and sits on his backside on benefits with no excuse not to work. He has no other children whilst I'm a single parent of 3 at home working all I can so I don't have to rely solely on benefits for us all. While he gets away with paying nothing for the child he created and walked away from. CMS have been no help at all..they keep saying they can't find his most recent earnings despite admitting they've found him to be employed a lot more recently than 10 years ago which was the last tax year they used to calculate his maintenance contributions that he doesn't even pay anyway

MissRaspberryRipples · 09/06/2025 16:08

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 08/06/2025 18:37

I used to get the same. 'We can take away his driving licence/passport, get an attachment to earnings through HMRC...' etc etc. Made me want to scream 'WHY DON'T YOU DO IT THEN?' They seem to rely on the men being acquiescent and declaring themselves and paying up, it really doesn't seem as though they need to go to great lengths to hide, CMS just don't have the will to pursue them for payment.

Show quote history

Same I've questioned them loads. All the things they told me they'll go to freezing and investigating bank accounts revoking passport/driving license etc. having him done for purposely job hopping to hide his earnings. They did none of it. Way I see it is that all of this is too much paperwork for them to be bothered. They get away with it so easily. He's never even denied that my son is his child. I was even pursued by his solicitor at one point telling them I've never allowed him contact and that I apparently had social services involved with my children.He soon shut that off when I gave his solicitor proof in person that he's never been prevented from seeing his child just he chose not to bother being an active parent and also that social services were never involved with my family. He tells anyone who cares to listen that I've stopped all contact when there's clear proof that my son at 12years old contacted him to spend time with him and his dad actively ignored him. There was even a video of him on Facebook laughing and joking with his brother that he never pays his child support

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