I am fed up of tidying DS1' s room

[NotABanana]

It can take me a good hour some times to give it a good clean and put everything away and it lasts until the next morning if I am lucky. I have asked him so many times to tidy it but he just dumps things on the top of his drawers. I am going up in the roof soon to look for some drawers on wheels as I can't afford new storage until next month, but I am stuck for what to do.

He is 7 but I still think he could do some tidying. He is very inventive so currently there are things attached to others (they shouldn't be really...) and bits everywhere.

I try leaving it but there comes a time when I just have to do it.

Any ideas?

BTW If I am not back by lunch time I am probably stuck in the roof so can someone pick my kids up please?

hmmmm -- I have sometimes resorted to putting everything left out into a big black binbag and 'filing' it in the loft.

Must do it again. Possibly today.

Obviously you can be a bit selective in the matter of essential school uniform and just possibly Teddy...

I have been up in the roof (just about survived) and found some drawers on wheels for DS1 and DD so more storage there. I also found tonnes of toys, etc I have been looking for and remember now that DH put a load up there when the kids were particulary trying. Have brought a few back but am not tidying their rooms. They can do it in half term.

every 3 months i go in to DSs room, armed with a roll of bin bags

one bag for charity , one for rubbish

and we go through everything together

lots of plastic boxes in his room for him to throw stuff into, one for cars, one for robots, one for knex etc...

i help him tidy but won;t do it all...

my children are told "go and tidy your room" anything on their floors in a certain time gets swept into binbags and chucked - and it does

sometimes I give thme 30 mintues
sometimes I give them an extra chance
sometimes I ask them to tell me when its tidy

actions = consequences - you're not a slave - he is more than old enough - mine start tidying at 3

We have boxes under the bed but it is really hard to know where to put everything. In his room he has

bed
drawers
drawers
drawers
book shelf
2 trolleys on wheels
beanbag for when he falls out of bed

I agree with lulumama and guitar. If you don;t sort this now you will be his slave forever and his future girlfriends won't thank you either.

At 7 you have to do it with them. Too young to organise and stick with it on their own, but too old to have you do it all for them IYSWIM.

Boxes/drawers with labels can help.

It gets even worse when they hit the teens - then you just close the door on it.

at 7 they're too yong? absolutely disagree -

I have labelled toy storage drawers. Part of the problem is he is very creative and loves to make things so a lot of it is work in progress.....

It might be that its too general an instruction and he can't get his head round it. So how about breaking it down into specific jobs.

So instead of asking him to tidy his room, ask him (on separate occasions if necessary) to:

Make his bed
Put his dirty clothes in the wash basket
Put away his books
Tidy specific toys
etc

Until its done.

Some children are too young at 7 to organise themselves. Some children are not. Now if yours do, well done, I'm sure you're taking the credit, but if they don't, you sure as hell shouldn't take the blame for your children not having an identical neurological set up to the next persons.

Don't do it for him, do it ^with him, sit on the bed and tell him what to do.

Well - ds2 at 7 could not have gone and tidied his room alone. He would have been endlessly distracted by books, toys etc. Also, he would not have been able to really organise himself, where to start, what to tackle first etc. But, he was very willing and co-operative if I went with him to issue simple instructions and jolly him along. Also, it was a good opportunity to spend some time with him and achieve a tidy room at the same time.

I suppose every child is different.

I find that boring jobs are easier with a bit of company, so maybe it is genetic!

But she is not talking about him organising the room - just putting things back where they belong. My 7yo is actually fine - largely because he never gets much out... There will be a bit of a clothes heap - but we do keep relatively on top of it, and a few football annuals spread round the floor, a couple of books on the bed and that is it. The main problem he has is stopping to read every book that he tidies.

I am however kept from being even remotely smug by my 4yo - hew bedroom drives me to despair.

If he is anything like DD he can't see the mess.
I can go into her room, tell her it's messy and ask her what needs doing, she'll completely miss huge piles of mess almost as if it's not there.
I find it gets done a lot better if once a week I go in with her and help, other times I will give her one job, like 'tidy those toy boxes, they shouldn't have clothes in' and once that is done, 'get the bits out from under the bed' etc.

I find both her and her brother are much better at doing one specific job than 'tidying their room' which is, in effect, at least 4/5 jobs.

Ds 2 was dreadful at tidying at 7. He used to get everything out, was constantly making models, dismantling things, but now, at 16 he is super organised and tidy.

Ds1 used to be obsessive about organising his property when he was 8. Now he is 19 and his room looks like a hurricaine went through a car boot sale. Not my problem any more though.

Lots of food for thought there and I can see where I am going wrong (again)

He gets a lot of stuff out, I don't think he cares what his room looks like but does love it when it is done. Maybe it is a boy thing as well as being spoilt. DD keeps her much smaller room a bit better but has less things.

It is nearly always a battle to ask them to tidy up the lounge at the end of the day. If they haven't played with every last thing they don't see why they should do it. My job apparently.

NAB
As you are currnetly working on bed times and on good behaviour charts perhaps this is just not the week.....

For DS1 Iused to write him a little list to tick off when he had done things so like
1)all books on their shelf
2 all model kits in their box
3 tidy up bed
I did it because he just couldn't see the mess - he really couldn't . He would stand in the door saying 'really, I have done everything haven't I?' and he was sincere.

When he was smaller I kept the list shorter and kept it consistent. He laernt the basic and then i just added bit on.
Way easier

And whilst I never 'bribed' him to do it I would get him to tidy when I was baking and when he had done I would be very pleased with how well he had done it and give him a nice piece of chocolate cake. A good mental association for him..

If they don't pick up the toys in the living room at the end of the day, and you have to do it, put them into a black binliner and remove it. Don't spend time time sorting etc.

pagwatch, I think you are right. It has been a mess for a few days but I am going to go and do a bit of a tidy in his room and then ask him nicely to try and keep it a bit better.

Baking is fab idea, I always love baking and they always love eating it.

great combo you love baking, they love eating. works here too !

We have a place for everything, lots of stackboxes, drawers, bookshelves etc. Everything belongs somewhere. Ds can't manage tidying on his own (he's 9 and has AS) but I give him a checklist of individual tasks and sit on his bed to supervise. He gets a reward for doing it. Rather than a big blitz every couple of months that ends up taking the whole day, we do it every Saturday morning so it only takes about ten minutes because it doesn't have time to get too untidy.

Also, he is expected to make his bed and have a general tidy every morning before school. He's learning about time-management and has twigged that if he does this he'll have more time for Dr Who at the weekend.

All the time I have been gone has been spent tidying DS1's room (and putting too many books on DS2's shelf and hearing the whole lot go bang!) I have cleaned and put most things away. Running out of time so will sort out the 6-8 toy drawers on wheels tmw and have started labelling boxes as all can read.

Thanks all for the ideas!

At 7 you need to tidy with him.

I have been going through the same with dd who is 9.

When i ask her to tidy, she moves things from one side of the bed to the other.

So

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

I am getting a skip the week after next and she is writing a list of 10-15 items she wants to keep, the rest is gone.