Mat leave with a toddler

[Ladybuglamp]

DD is 18 months and I returned back to work in February whilst 5 months pregnant. I loved maternity leave at first - I had a nice NCT group to meet up with and went to quite a few baby classes too. Towards the end I struggled and found I was running out of things to do / very painfully bored / counting down the hours until the next nap. I was relieved to go back to work and DD settled into nursery really well.
Ive just finished work for my second maternity leave as my baby is due in the next couple of weeks and I’m planning to take another year off. I don’t feel excited at all, I’m already very bored and kind of dreading being off for another year - especially with a toddler. I love her very much but there’s a lot of tantrums at the moment.
I also don’t have a NCT group this time round or anyone to hang out with!
im keeping DD in nursery for 3 days a week, but can anyone who has been through this share tips on how to survive the year without losing my mind?!
I think I would feel too guilty to go back to work earlier and probably also couldn’t secure a nursery space any earlier either

My second has just turned 1 so I've been doing this for a year! I completely understand what you mean about not looking forward to it.

Having your toddler in nursery 3 days is good, for me nursery days feel like a day off, you've only got one child to think about and babies are so easy once you're used to a toddler (obviously babies with reflux etc are a different story). On nursery days I have done some baby groups, but I also like to keep some time free just to potter about and enjoy the relative quiet. So I might pop to the shops or go for a coffee, things that are manic with a toddler.

For the days I've got them both I try my best to avoid being home alone with them. If you've got family nearby who can visit that's great, or find some play groups/toddler groups to go to. Most toddler groups will allow you to bring a baby with you and they'll just nap in the pram or whatever.

Good luck, I hear we'll miss these days at some point!

I am someone who really thrives on routine, even if it’s a self inflicted one, I cannot stand just being sat around all day it drives me crazy😂

While on maternity leave with my daughter I used to basically have a routine for our days, we do have a dog which maybe makes this easier! So we would do up, play, breakfast/bottle, morning dog walk, morning nap, lunch/bottle, out to do something (baby sensory, baby yoga, baby swimming, mum & baby exercise class/gym, trip to see friend/family, trip to coffee shop, sometimes just a wander round b&m😂), back home for afternoon nap, play, evening dog walk, dinner!

We went to lots of baby groups, playgroups, soft plays but also just lots of days out together to local things like art gallerys, museums etc just for a wander out and something to do!

Now pregnant with baby number 2 & daughter is 13 months so will be doing it all over again with 2 by the end of the year

Why take the whole year off?

I had 14 months off with my DD and was devastated to go back to work part time (both DH and I went part time). DD has just turned 2 and my DS was born 3 days later (5 weeks ago).

DD is not (and has never been) in nursery. I now realise that I could never be a SAHM! It’s a lot more manageable when they’re small. Now I have to keep her entertained while EBF my newborn and trying to keep on top of the house/laundry etc. DS feels too small to take to our usual play groups. I plan to return to work at 9 months and get DD into nursery ASAP once we move house.

I have a 2 year old and a 7 week old so I appreciate I am not much further ahead of you! At the moment the 2YO is at the childminder 3 days a week and with my parents 1 day so I only have the both of them on my own 1 day a week.

I would add that I adored the whole of my mat leave last time and hated going back to work. I like my own company and pottering about.

So what had worked for me so far is getting out of the house as early as possible. I've gone to a different park or stay and play each week, then the shop for a little treat for me and toddler then home for lunch by which time toddler is knackered and goes to sleep for 2 hours. Then I really enjoy those couple of hours reading or watching TV, and leave housework for the days when it's just me and baby.

I got a sling for baby as soon as she was big enough which helps.

Then the days with just baby feel like a breeze when I can do whatever I want within reason!

As you like being at work you might get satisfaction from planning out the logistics of your day with two, I know I am. You might make new pals at stay and play as well.

Stay and play type playgroups in church halls are your friend here.