Toddlers

[mumto2bo]

How do some of you mums cope when ur toddlers are having melt downs in public I find it so overwhelming sometimes and worried or being judged some days are better than others but just wondering for any tips!!

You just deal with it.

Let them ride it out (if safe) or pick them up and take them out of the situation (if not safe, or in a situation where they are disturbing other people).

Remember that 99% of people who look at you will be either empathising, or just feeling relieved those days are passed. Very few will judge a toddler tantrum. It happens to most dc.

Agree, few are actually judging you. In fact I smile when I see someone else dealing with their toddler’s tantrum. It makes me feel less alone. So in that sense you are doing a service in reminding us all that it’s just the way of toddlers, even if it makes you die inside.
I do empathise though. We went through a stage where DD refused to get in her car seat. No amount of coaxing, pleading, distracting, ‘gentle parenting’, begging, stern voicing, bargaining or bribing worked. I did feel totally judged manhandling her into the car and worse even than the judgment was that I just felt like a terrible mum getting it all wrong and was so worried about hurting her. BUT remember 9/10 of what you are asking of your toddler is reasonable and necessary and that’s what matters. My only tip is just keep going. This stage will pass

You just have to not worry about what others think. As long as you are dealing with the tantrum, moving the child away if they are disturbing others etc then there isn't much else you can do

Just try to get home or out of the situation as calmly, safely and as much dignity as I can manage.

Often when I have been seen by someone they drop me a message saying I saw you but didn't want to make the situation worse, I hope you are ok.

Totally understandable to feel the way you do. Been there done that. I don’t think there’s a parent who hasn’t experience this. It takes so much patience to navigate those moments.

What I find helpful is to just let your DC express their emotions, even through crying, without giving in to the demands that triggered their meltdown. This doesn’t mean you’re ignoring them… but rather remaining calm and consistent. When a child learns that crying publicly doesn’t change the outcome, they gradually understand that tantrums aren’t an effective way to get what they want. It will reinforce boundaties and teaches then that their feelings are valid, but certain behaviours aren’t.

Meh if I catch anyone's eye I say things of "it's a hard life being a toddler" or "is it bedtime yet?". I usually just stand there, tell them I can give them a cuddle when they are ready and wait for them to finish. Then give them a cuddle and crack on. I couldn't give a monkeys backside if I'm judged. I've had elderly women stand there open mouthed as I've carried my then toddler over my shoulder screaming his head off out of M&S. He was trying to throw things mid tantrum and I got fed up of it so out we went.