I am normally so mildmannered. But I have not been a good mum to my DS1 the last week. I expect too much of him. He is such a good and helpful and lovely and caring boy. And then something happens, like he tripped his little brother over and he fell and hurt his head, and I went MAD! Shouting at him for being so careless and hurting his brother and he would not be allowed to race him again because he is small and you are big, and you should know better, etc....oh arse.
And yesterday he pushed a broom under his brothers feet, and he fell over and he got told off. I hate myself for being so shouty. I mean, it was not on purpose, I should be loving and caring and understanding like I usually am. I am just so worn out. I have been unpacking like mad, everything is total mayhem, we have lost some important boxes, and it has been so stressful with the boxes lost, and trying to find a tenant, which we have now. But I am so worried about the inland revenue and filling in forms regards to tax on the rent, (silly I know) we have to get Dh's permission to stay and his work permit, he wont be able to take language course until he has permission to stay, he has to go to India again soon, and he has to go to London and get rid of furniture as the tenant does not want some of it, (and to dig out a couple of thousand pounds from under the shed what was he thinking leaving the money from selling the car behind....) there are delays with the planning permission on the build, and I dont have time to work and my backlog is ever increasing, my brain is frying, and we wont know till the end of the month about my sisters cancer and how far it has spread, I need wine and a shoulder to cry on. Funnily, I have nobody to cry on. I have to be strong for everybody.