How to navigate lots of changes for DD before her sibling arrives

[gollyimholly]

I have a wonderful 2 year old daughter and am expecting our second DC in January. It is unplanned but still a happy addition to our growing family.

I've been a SAHM to DD and never returned to work after my maternity leave - largely due to DD being very poorly in her first year and requiring lots of hospitalisation. Thankfully all resolved now but it did mean DD couldn't be around children until we were given the green light about 6 months ago. This also means we are yet to enroll DD for a few hours of nursery. DD and I go to lots of stay and play sessions at playgroup, ballet and swimming and so she does get lots of interaction with children but I am thinking I really need to find a nursery for her to start before DC2 comes along. And the sooner the better so there are fewer big changes when her sibling arrives.

To make things even less ideal, we are hoping to move within the year (to be closer to my parents and better schools) however we are yet to find something that suits our budget. We are looking at two postcode areas.

My question is - should I find a nursery near one of these postcodes so if we do manage to move, at least we won't have to start nursery anew. The new area we hope to move to will be a 20minute drive from our current address and so it would mean up until we move, we'll be travelling 20mins to DD's nursery.

I also need to think about potty training her sometime this summer as she will be turning 3 in March next year.

I would greatly appreciate any advice on how to make all these transitions as smooth as possible for DD.

Many thanks in advance x

Yes definitely choose a nursery that will work after the move.

Think about your DDs bedroom and whether there's enough "movable" things that will make her new room after you move feel just like home. We knew we would be moving around DS's 2nd birthday. About 9 months before we moved we put up some peel&stick wall transfers and bought a big soft toy that is part massive-cuddly-friend and part mini-sofa. Putting these items into the new bedroom made it seem familiar instantly as soon as we moved in.

Personally I would chill on the potty training front. Once a child is actually ready, potty training doesn't take long. It only takes ages and causes stress when you are trying to force it too early. You have plenty of time to recover from all these other upheavals before you tackle that one.

I would start her at nursery/pre-school in September if it's one that closes for summer, not now. Pick one that is nearer to where you will move to. You may struggle to find a place at short notice though.

Definitely get started with the potty training this summer. You want her out of nappies before three unless there is a developmental reason not to. Potty training over the winter, heavily pregnant will be no fun. Neither will potty training in the Spring, in a new house with a newborn. Get the potty training sorted before nursery, the new sibling and the new house if you possibly can.

On the house move so lots of pre-emptive work about moving house, follow the great advice re. moveable items from PP, but don't worry too much. What makes 'home' for small children is the people there, not the decor. They generally cope much better than you'd think with a move.