Toddler refusing to eat most things and no dinner

[bananashoes]

This is my third child, so I’ve encountered feeding issues in the past but none this bad.

my son, who turned 2 in February, has had a history of severe ear infections- he had 12 in 3 back to back months, plus tonsillitis and double glue ear. As a result, he went completely off his food, especially as he could mostly only tolerate smoothies and ice lollies.

weve sorted his poor ears and throat out, but now he refuses to eat most things. He went from being the greediest boy ever- eating all manner of things, to now subsisting on berries, nuts and nut butters, fruits, avocado, peas, eggs for breakfast and the odd bit of pasta. And at any moment he will go off those. He’s not drinking much milk- maybe the odd bit for breakfast and with dinner (but minor amounts). This is going on 3 months now and while he’s clearly not losing weight and developing normally, it’s making meal times especially dinner sooooo hard. He will literally starve himself and then wake up all night long for milk if I dig my heels in. I want my good eater back.

please Mumsnet, help!

He must be eating more than that not to be losing weight and be thriving. Try looking at what he eats over the week rather than each meal.

To put it into better light- he was top percentile for weight and height. He’s still a good size boy- that’s not really what I’m worried about.

typical meals:

Breakfast: scrambled egg and a bit of toast
snack: strawberries (he could eat his weight in them), maybe a yogurt pouch
lunch: peanut butter on Wholemeal bread, cucumber
snack: Apple maybe some cashews if he’s not had much lunch
dinner: nothing, sometimes pasta, sometimes a few bits of cucumber and a bit of milk

He seems to be doing fine. I would stop worrying.

Stop worrying, he's not losing weight and plenty of children get fussy at this age even without being poorly. My sister just stopped putting food down on the table for her son and sat down herself and ignored him and he was outraged and helped him self to her dinner 😂

I’d carry on as you are as he’s eating good healthy foods. Just keep serving whatever dinner you want- one day he’ll eat some. Put a plate of chopped fruits and veggies out on the table he can pick at if he wants.

If he has been poorly for a while, maybe he is still not quite himself. Is he too tired for dinner in the evening? Would he eat more of a dinner-style meal for lunch?
Or, maybe he has just got used to eating smaller amounts. You could try giving 5 small meals rather than 3 meals and and 2 snacks. Just break the meals down into smaller parts. My youngest was much better grazing than having 3 meals a day.
What about making meals a bit different - picnic on the floor/outdoors, teddy bears tea party etc.
I had a fussy eater - it was so hard not getting stressed out over it. Just keep offering a range of different foods alongside what he definitely will eat and leave him to try things when he wants.

Agree with the bigger lunch idea. My son went through a phase of that for months where he ate most of his calories for breakfast and lunch and dinner was tiny or just a snack. Around the same age too. I think it’s a normal phase even without everything he’s been through.

I have one that goes off her food easily the only time I've worried is when she wouldn't eat more than one bite of anything including cake! She also asked to go to bed early every day and only want to lie on the Sofa. she was nearly 4 at this point and the cause seems to be the chef at her nursery not making appropriate precautions to ensure the food he was giving her didn't have ingredients she's allergic to in. Once he was dismissed within about 1-2 weeks she started eating more of a normal diet. Even though she was quite articulate and she still struggled to convey that she didn't feel well. The levels were low enough not to trigger her main symptoms but clearly enough to make her feel off.
It really brought home how low level illness can creep and build and have an impact on wellbeing.

I would be pretty happy if my daughter was eating something 4-5 times a day, maybe shift a few things around, add more to times of day he's willing to eat. Would moving to 5 small meals rather than 3 meals and 2 snacks help? Could you introduce some cereal before bed If he's waking hungry? If he's got plenty of energy for normal activities and usual character I'd just give him a bit of time to recoup his appetite and keep any eye out for a further infections.