Tips on surviving the days alone with a 3 year old and newborn?

[postmanshere]

I’m 3 weeks in to having a 3.5 year old and a newborn. It’s been okay but I’ve had both at home with me for the last week as DH is back at work. Any tips for surviving this phase welcome.

We don’t really do screentime because DD1’s behaviour goes downhill once she’s had it (acting out and tantrums). She’s much calmer without. Im nursing so there are reasonably long stretches where I cannot easily help toddler and need her reliably distracted. She’s not a great eater so snacks don’t work. We’ve got a subscription to a kids audiobook service and that works 70% of the time but the other 30% she just screams that she wants it off (this happened during the last nursing session where she screamed for the audiobook off then had a meltdown over wanting Easter eggs, I said no, so she marched into the kitchen and empties all the bottom cupboards in protest).

Basically, the newborn is no worry but the toddler is very high energy and needs constant hands-on attention and it’s proving difficult.

I know you said no to screen time but what would be the outcome if you watched something together so you could talk about what you’re watching etc.

Also a stair gate on the room you’re nursing in.

finally congratulations on the new baby.

Make everything into a game. While you’re nursing newborn you suddenly need the spatula from the kitchen and DD has 20 seconds to get it for you. Ready set go.

Set up an obstacle course, how many star jumps in 30 seconds, how high can you hop etc. Play charades where you guess the animal.

I personally love more open ended toys, charity shops or local facebook groups often have things like duplo, happy street etc for cheap for her to create her own world to show you.

Oo it's a hard time this.
Have you got a sling so you can feed baby and still move around for your dd?
Do you have a garden?
You dh needs to be on this too making up stations for you the night before with baskets or boxes you can easily get out with activities in. Books, making bracelets type thing easyish not too fiddly. Air clay is good it's not too messy but gets that sensory element. Toy rotation can help things feel new and exciting.
What's your dd really into? Just want her to feel that feeding baby time isn't a boring I'm ignored time but a time me and mummy get to do an activity together or read a book. Then when your partner is home they need to be hands on taking over to give you a break or allow you to spend one on one time or them spend one on one time with your dd.
Any family members available for visits to hold the newborn?

I find the more my three year old feels connected with me and heard he is more willing to go along with family life and share. Perhaps she can have a role to play with baby maybe it's her job to get babies blanket or something so she feels helpful and needed.

Screens do have value if used appropriately imo.

Not your mundane children’s tv but useful stuff or relaxing stuff.

• the Julia Donaldson stuff on bbc (stick man etc.) can tie into your reading
• Active tv stuff on YouTube like singing and dancing sessions. or exercise sessions Joe wicks style. (You will have to do these with her first to teach her how it goes)
• build along Lego, brio, magnatiles stuff
• a tv show about nature. There’s a beautiful about fish narrated by Barack Obama which is very good.

I have a 4 year old and a 5 week old but my husband isn't back at work til next week so I'm hoping for advice too!

My daughter likes cosmic kids yoga on YouTube, would you be opposed to that kind of screentime?

We went out all the time. Church hall playgroups, park, beach, forest, museums. Anywhere free or very low cost where toddler could run around and play and baby could sleep or be fed.

At that age sticker activity books were brilliant for DS and kept him occupied for hours.

I have a 4 yo (not at school) and an almost 2yo and a newborn.

definitely have the tv on in this house sometimes!! I don’t see the issue with some hey duggee or today we watched new Walking with Dinosaurs

We had the same gap and the 3yo was at nursery pt. Doesn't yours get free hours? It was only 3 days but it helped wear her out. On other days she would go to some drop off classes (football, dance and music). The resr of the time we were out and about in playgrounds, or children's centres on wet days.

I had twins when DD1 was 3y 1m old.

NURSERY!

Seriously. Not all the time but some hours where she gets to socialise and do stuff focussed on 3yos.

Other than that - get out. My routine was
Breakfast and tidy up whilst newborn on playmat, DD1 toys
Walk - rain, shine, twins in buggy, DD1 in wellies or whatever
Activity out - we had a weekly rota - playgroup where I could sit and BF, local museum, library, another playgroup, cafe
Home for lunch, nap
Afternoon activity, normally playground visit or walk round local NT place
Dinner, bedtime

God, that's made me nostalgic! Rinse n repeat till I went back to work at 6 mos!

You go out LOTS. Nothing wrong with breastfeeding on a park bench (it's summer after all) while the toddler has a 'picnic' or plays on a slide. But most crucial of all, you get some friends with kids of a similar age and you help each other out - one takes the older ones on the climbing frame while the other watches the babies, or one supervises at soft play while the other breastfeeds etc. And you read stories with the older one while feeding the baby.
It gets easier.