Long days vs short days at nursery

[Charmofgoldfinch]

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for advice from those of you with children in nursery. I’m currently pregnant but due to high nursery demand I’m having to secure nursery places now. There are a few different working patterns we could utilise when our child starts nursery and I’ve no idea which is best to be honest!

My husband and I both work 37hr weeks Monday to Friday, the option to work flexibly across a two week period. We cannot work weekends or undertake work outside of core office hours (7:00 - 19:00).

we will be utilising the funded 30hrs nursery and topping up any other hours we need.

child will be starting nursery at 1 year old.

the two options our nursery offers which we are considering are:

5 short days/ week - 9:00 - 16:30

• we would split drop off/ pick up so the same parent would drop off and pick up on same day and work a shorter day (6.5hrs) (5 days/ fortnight). For logistics it doesn’t make sense for one to drop off/ another pick up on same day for this pattern.
• parent not on pick up would need to work 9.5hrs on non pick up day (5 days/ fortnight).
• our funded hours would cover 4 days/ week a week would have to pay for the 5th day privately.
• pros: see child more in week. All eat dinner together/ parent can spend pick up evenings with child
• cons: more expensive. Non pick up parent still has to work 9.5hrs

3 long days/ week - 08:00 - 18:00

• each parent would work compressed hours of 9.25hrs/ day for 4 days/ week and take one day off a week to look after child.
• we would split drop off and pick up but approx hours would be 8:15 - 18:00 (with a 30 min lunch). Give or take 15 mins on each side of this depending on who was picking up/ dropping off
• funded hours would cover all this
• pros: each get a day/ week with child. Child only at nursery for 3 days/ week. Cheaper
• cons: Exhausting for All? Won’t see child much during nursery days.

Neither of us commute or have to travel for work. Nursery is 10 min walk from home and both our office (we work at same building). We have no family help or family in the same city. We cannot afford to reduce our hours.

we are both first time parents so what I obviously have zero experience of is whether the long days are just unrealistic from a parent energy perspective and also too tiring for the child - will we all be exhausted and is the working week just going to be a mad rush all the time with such long days? Are shorter days at nursery better for kids as you see them more day to day?

advice would be much welcome - and if anyone does a pattern I haven’t let me know!

I would go for the 5 shorter days. 8 - 18 is so so long for a tiny one. You'll have more time before and after nursery.

My son generally attends 08:30-15:30 and I wouldn't want him there longer than that. It is exhausting for little kids.

3 long days

3 long days without a doubt. There isn’t a huge difference in the hours and you’ll still be home before 6.30pm. You will each be able to do something fun with dc on your day off (swimming/ baby classes) that you wouldn’t be able to do after work. It also means if dc sick there’s less days to cover in the week. And it’s cheaper!

Three long days.

I wouldn’t have an under 3 in childcare full time unless I really had to.

Disclaimer: childcare is basically free where I live and it's totally not the norm to have your child in for long days.

I hadn't appreciated the cost factor

We do the 5 shorter days, though our nursery charges full days or half days so we still have to pay for full days. Comes in handy during rare cases where both of us can't do an early pick up.

The funded 30 hours is only term
time though. Do you both work term time only or have different childcare for the holidays?

have you factored that into the costs?

Thank you all for your contributions!
Im an idiot and can’t calculate 37x 2!
so for the shorter days option each parent would have 5 x 6.5 hr days and 5 x 8.5hr days in a fortnight. Which makes a bigger difference between the length of the working days between the two options.

the price difference between the two options is approx £2,500/ year. But the money isn’t the most important thing if working. 9.25hrs day on top of looking after a young child and drop off / pick up isn’t sustainable long term! The short day nursery options go the quickest here (as they are cheaper) so we would be unlikely to change to that if we tried the long days and hated it!

@oneplustwoplustwoplusone - I’ve factored holiday full costs in - our nursery doesnt offer term time only hours so we’d still have to pay for this anyway (whether that’s topping up the funded hours or full private). The nursery averages it out over the year. I was caught out on it during my initial calculations though!

Have you confirmed with your chosen nursery that this is how they apply the funding? Or is this an assumption/ guess?

Got it in writing in the funding terms 👍🏻

Three long days for sure - we do almost the same as you, daughter in 8-6. The 9am start and 1630 finish doesn't give any proper quality time except the bits of the day that cause the most angst (getting dressed, breakfast, the tired out end of day). I far rather my full day that allows us to do day trips/groups etc and I don't find the long days too exhausting because I've got used to having no time since becoming a parent anyway! I also have almost an hour commute either side and still find it manageable

Absolutely 3 long days. You can't do anything meaningful with them before 9 or after 4.30 but having a whole day off each gets you the extra quality time, ability to do playgroups, classes, the zoo etc during the week. Whether or not you collect them at 4.30 or 6 they'll still be grouchy.

Mine do three long days 7.30-6, dad has them on a Monday and I have them on a Friday. It works really well

I’ve got two preschoolers so I’m in this phase and definitely do the 3 long days. It is long for them but they’ll be fine, and you’ll get more time to actually do fun stuff with them. As they become a toddler having that weekday time to go swimming/to the farm/to soft play etc is so valuable as they’re full of big kids at the weekend. You’ll each get 1-1 time with them which is also awesome, but leave you the weekend for family time.

Definitely 3 longer days. We found our 2 were always tired on their days off from the nursery in the week and needed the quieter, calmer time to recuperate. I also really cherished my day off with them as they soon go off to school 5 days a week.

My LO does reduced hours, 9am - 3pm. To be honest, I can’t imagine sending him any longer. We both WFH so I don’t see why he should stay from 8-6. Myself and DH tag team it between 3pm-5pm when the work day is over. It’s very manageable when you work from home.

I know it’s personal preference but my DS is exhausted just from 6 hours. 8-6 is longer than a normal school day or a working day for adults. And I would get no time with him during that day, just dinner and bed as soon as he’s home.. They’re only little once. I don’t want to miss too much of it, especially when we are in such a privileged position to work from home.

Thank you so so much everyone for your advice and comments on how your working/ nursery patterns work for you. Its impossible to know until you have done the day to day so hearing from folk who balance nursery and work really helps ☺️
I think the one thing I hadn’t considered is that with the shorter days the time we spend with the little one isn’t going to be quality time - it probably is still going to be rushing around/ making tea etc - in my fantasy land I had visions of going to the park after nursery or all eating together which I think is unrealistic as we will only be getting an hour back 😂 let’s blame my hormones and lack of children for that! So at least with the long days we do get that quality time back like everyone has said.
i do also realise we are in a fortunate position that our works allow us to compress our hours and for many the long days are a necessity.
i think I am leaning towards the three longer days at the mo - going to do a couple of trial weeks to see how the work aspect would work at least and how I’d had to structure the work day to get everything done. Thanks again everyone ☺️

3 long days. With the illnesses they pick up it will be so much easier if LO is home 4 days a week anyway.

I would do three long days. The 16:30 to 18:00 time in good childcare should be quiet and relaxed and they will get used to it.

I would probably go for the 3 long days. Have you considered whether either or both of you could afford to drop a few hours a week eg so you could pick up at 5pm on the long days. That extra hour to get home and make dinner before the bedtime routine may make your lives less stressful. I found the first year back at work really brutal with DD picking up so many bugs and passing a lot of them onto me and DH so we were all constantly sick for about 6 months over winter. I also found it hard to get over things as I would be up all night with DD when she was sick or teething so I just ended up run down and exhausted.

I intended to go back full time but ended up dropping a day as I just found it all too much. Does mean we haven't got much cash for holidays at the moment. DD goes to nursery 8am-5pm 4 days a week and that has been fine. We all try to eat together at 6pm although it doesn't always work out.

@wishIwasonholiday10 - I hadn’t thought of dropping a few hours a week. We’d each need to drop approx 1.5hrs a week to cover all the pick ups so that could be doable if work allowed. It might make things a bit less rushed.

thank you to everyone who has flagged illness and days off nursery - this is something I hadn’t considered. We’d still have to make up our hours ideally for these days but at least we wouldn’t be paying for days in nursery which the little one wasn’t going in for as they are ill.

there is a lot of think about!

If they make it in 70% of the time in the first year then you’ll be doing well. The first year of nursery is just constant illness for all of you. If you’re going to have to make up hours I’d go for 5 days. You have a much better chance of actually getting in your hours. The 3 days is nicer on the baby but you’ll be stuffed at work.

You have to remember for D&V it’s 48 hours clear after D&V before they will take them back. So if they vomit on a Monday morning and you had Mon-Weds booked for nursery you’ll have no nursery days that week. Mostly they send them home for fevers too…

Thanks everyone - the illnesses is something we’re going to have to think about. We are lucky in that our work is flexible and does offer some leave for looking after kids etc but I just wouldn’t want to take the mick and I still want to do a good job at work and do as many of my hours as possible. We also get a decent amount of annual leave so some of that we are going to set aside to cover for illnesses.

i think we might just have to go for what we think is best and see how we go 👍🏻

I would much prefer the 5 short days if the money doesn’t matter that much. I feel like it gives you time to play at home and go to the park / playground each day and will be easier on both you and your child. The long days sound super exhausting. There are still both weekend days to do longer outings to farms or the zoo or whatever. Although things like daytime classes and playgroups can be fun, I never found them that fun…