Help! 5 year old is ruining holiday!

[MooMoo74]

5 year old son with suspected adhd is totally ruining the holiday!!
I just need a rant!!

he won’t walk anywhere, runs off doesn’t listen, hits other kids which is super embarrassing. we can’t go anywhere because he just sits in the middle of the path and refuses to walk!! We went on a trip and he wouldn’t do anything. Wouldn’t watch the dolphin show just moaned he wanted to go back to the hotel, I feel like this holiday is just a shit show. His younger brother acts better than him!! Roll on home time!!

His behaviour is the same at home, presumably?

Sorry that you’re not enjoying your holiday.

Holidays with young children are tough. Holidays with neurodivergent young children are even tougher.

It sounds like he is quite possibly completely overwhelmed at being out of his routine.

How do you manage him at home? Is it because everything is unfamiliar?

Holidays can be stressful for everyone. What does he like doing?

If he actually has adhd then holidays might be overwhelming for him. What helps him at home?

This.

You need to build lots of downtime into the day. Screens can help with this for some children - I know others find them overstimulating.

Can you split the children up so your younger one gets to do the things they want to?

Are you on holiday somewhere where you can go and buy a cheap buggy?
Stick him in that when you need to walk anywhere.
He is probably a mixture of excited, overwhelmed and tired.

What sort of activities are you doing? It doesn’t sound like it’s a holiday particularly geared to an nd 5 year old?

Suspected ADHD probably doesn't actually impact anything at this age. They won't diagnose before 6 because ADHD and being 5 are so similar. He is, ADHD or not, probably knackered and playing up. Try doing less, explain the day clearly, and give rewards. My DC has ADHD and when it comes to him running everywhere you need to go full on engagement, you can't just walk, you have to make the entire walk a treasure hunt or something. It's bloody exhausting though.

Oh bless him. It sounds like he's really overwhelmed and disregulated. Can you build in some activities you know he enjoys or which calm him?

Who wants to watch a dolphin show anyway, haha

Just keep things simple: pool, play areas. No five year old needs a day trip!

If he's hitting other kids then you need a time out

Suspected ADHD probably doesn't actually impact anything at this age. They won't diagnose before 6 because ADHD and being 5 are so similar.
This is categorically not true. It might be true that you couldn't tell the difference between a ND 5 year old and your child but in others it's so bloody obvious that it fizzes out of them.
Secondly they regularly do diagnose before 6 it's to do with what services are commissioned by the NHS in your area and FA to do with the condition itself.

Sounds like he needs more downtime. He seems overwhelmed. Lower your expectations of the holiday I’d say.
What calms him at home?

take a deep breathe and reframe your 5yo is not ruining the holiday. He is overwhelmed and out of his routine.

to have a great holiday with a ND child it is even more essential to follow the mantra to parent the child you have. You can’t follow some arbitrary set of parenting rules .

Just because he is 5 doesn’t mean he isn’t tired. There is nothing wrong with using a buggy or a wagon on holiday.

as much fun as he is having, he also has no idea what is coming next. Give warnings about transitions.

Take lots of breaks. A bit of time in the middle of the day back at the hotel chilling or laying on a blanket under a tree with a book or a bit of screen time while a sibling does an activity is ok. Just because he is older doesn’t mean he doesn’t need more mental rest time.

the point of a holiday is to get to spend time together as a family. It’s the spontaneous conversations that happen. It’s the tiny moments. If you don’t pack in as many activities, no one is going to care.