How do I teach my baby to fall asleep independently if I can't leave her alone in the cot safely?

[CommissarySushi]

I'm losing my mind with daytime naps. Baby is 7 months old and we're only getting one 30-40 minute nap most days. Sometimes I'll get lucky and she'll sleep for an hour or so.

She takes so long to get to sleep though. I usually breastfeed her to sleep but I have to sit and wait for her to be in a deep enough sleep so I can transfer her to the cot. And sometimes she wakes up on the transfer anyway and it's so frustrating.

If she wakes up, there is no getting her back to sleep. She will scream bloody murder if I attempt to rock her. She's so tired and so grumpy and I can't do anything.

I can't leave her in her cot alone for too long because she'll sit herself up and she's still very unsteady so has hit her head against the bars. She also backs up until her legs get trapped in the bars and hurts herself that way.

What can I do??

In all honesty, I just gave into contact naps with my EBF baby attached to me like a human dummy. She's still contact napping now at almost 1 year old, but she's just starting cuddling to sleep as well. She'll also rock in her pram if she's in a state where she's tired, but not worked up. I used to get annoyed with contact naps, but tbh I love them now, and see it as an excuse to watch TV for an hour!

Could you rock her in the pram?

I'd love to tell you how to break feed to sleep, but idk either 😭 mine finally just seems to be naturally growing out of it!

I never mastered cot naps with my children. They slept in them at night but daytime naps were on me, in pram, in sling or in the car. My eldest was particularly prone to getting over tired so sleep any way was the priority.

Put her in pram - wheel about till drops off, then park the pram where you can see it.

I only managed contact naps, pram naps and car naps. Now my toddler will feed to sleep and then sleep next to me in the bed for naps. I found it so frustrating trying to get my baby to nap in the cot. I found it much easier once I just accepted that it wasn't going to happen and embrace the contact naps or co-napping

7 months is difficult. I think by 12 months I'd taken the cot side off, put a gate on the bedroom door and made sure her room was safe and left her to it. I'd lay her down, sit with her for a bit may be with a book so she did her own thing... then wander off...I'd often find her curled up in a corner!

Do you have a travel cot? I'm thinking the mesh sides would prevent the legs getting through? I don't know whether is something you can safely do with cot sides... I know bumpers are a no no...

Mine are teens though so things might have changed!

Definitely worth trying a travel cot as the mesh sixes are sleep safe but it means she won’t be able to get limbs caught or bang her head. And another vote here for pram naps (if they aren’t that long anyway) - ours was quite often in the living room during tricky nap phases at that age! Best of luck and though it’s probably annoying to hear, this too shall pass!!

I have a 7 month old and we feed to sleep. She mostly contact naps - sometimes sleeps in the pram/carseat.

Can your LO fall asleep being worn in a baby carrier? That works for mine quite often too!

How about a floor bed (space permitting) where you could feed to sleep then roll away?

Sounds like she doesn’t need very much daytime sleep atm - maybe just lean in to the one contact nap if you can?

Good luck!

Get a pack and play and let her sleep in that - no bars, netted sides, so shes physically safe.

DS never slept anywhere during the day except the pram/pushchair and never more than half an hour. He was great at night so that was enough of a win for me.

Why do you think she can’t be left alone in the cot? She can’t injure herself in there. A little bump to the head from rolling about won’t do anything.

At 7 months I mostly just got on with my day being out and about and let baby sleep in the pram. Cot naps started when he was older and was doing one long 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the day. Only then did it make sense to come home for lunch and stay home while he slept. Before that when they’re having 2 or 3 naps, I just got out to baby groups, met up with friends for coffee, ran errands etc, and baby slept in the pram.

My babies could never nap unless I was lying next to them OR they were moving in a stroller (pram) or a carseat or I was holding them.

Even as toddlers. It was frustrating, but they grow out of it eventually. No truer words than "the days are long, but the years are short"

This is completely normal, it’s very uncommon for a baby or any young child really to be happy left alone in a cot and then just constantly drift off to sleep. It’s just part of having a baby and then toddler is helping them sleep.

I don't know if you've already tried this, but I was struggling with getting my baby to nap in her cot at about the same age and was getting fed up of pram naps/contact naps. I was trying to figure out what was different between nap routine and nighttime routine and it was that I wasn't putting her sleeping bag on at nap time.

One time I just tired putting her sleeping bag on before feeding to sleep for a nap and she transferred no problem. She's just turned 1 it's still working!

Yes this sounds like me too! My DS is 21 months and since about 14 months he has been contact napping with me... such a sensitive sleeper otherwise.

OP i know it's not always possible but have you tried taking DC out in the pram, into fresh air? Or really tire the DC out at the park? Then when you get home try to put her down for her nap?

DD1 was like this. Pram naps (I had to be walking constantly) or contact nap were the only options till she was around 1 I think and then we gradually moved to cot naps. DD2 could fall asleep in the pram and then I could just park her somewhere and she'd stay sleep, and she sleeps in her cot during the day as well. It still blows my mind after DD1. You have my sympathies as it's frustrating, but I think you'd just need to work with your baby and what works for them and try not to worry about anything else.

Up to 9 months I had to contact nap for the full sleep, use the pram or car seat. After 9 months both would be happy to fall asleep on me and then be transferred for a longer sleep. It feels tough when you are in the trenches but eventually they are happy to be left.

Thank you everyone! We are contact napping right now haha.

It sounds like giving into the contact napping is the answer right now. I'm struggling with keeping on top of the house with no time to clean whilst she naps, which really stresses me out. I just need to remember that this isn't forever, I guess.

Check out the organised mum method. It's about spending as little time as possible cleaning but being focused on a specific area each day. When mine were little it kept me accountable but not overwhelmed.

Good for you. Don't worry about the house was the best advice my mother and my grandmother gave me...they were extremely clean and organized German women, so if they could tell me to let it go...

Use the nap time to catch up on emails, phone calls, TV shows & sleep.
Don't feel guilty about the other stuff. This too will pass.