1 year old crying when put down

[Ang1989]

Advice please! We have a 13 month old and basically overnight she has started crying hysterically every time we put her down in her cot for a nap and also sometimes at night. We rock her to sleep most of the time and she’s fully asleep on us but as soon we we lower her down, ping! She’s awake and screaming hysterically, standing up instantly. Before this she would 99% of the time roll onto her tummy and go to sleep. Not sure if it’s teething, separation anxiety or a combination of both but it’s exhausting, the other night it took us from 8pm until 1am to get her to actually settle and then she was up at 7am so she’s not getting enough sleep. She’s showing all the sleepy signs that she’s ready for sleep but honestly her routine is a bit out of the window due to her fighting it all the time. Advise would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

My baby goes through phases like this and is the same age. The new thing is standing up in the cot for us too 😬

Perhaps your baby is ready to drop a nap or have a schedule change? We are having to drop to one nap even though baby looks knackered at normal morning nap time, because LO just won't do that morning nap any more. I've also moved bedtime half an hour later.

The other thing I can suggest is a teddy/comforter if your baby doesn't already have one, when my LO is upset I press their teddy gently on their chest and often they will give the teddy a big cuddle and be more willing to go back to sleep. I would cuddle my baby back to sleep, but it just makes LO angry when they are over-tired!

Thank you for your message and glad to know it’s not just us haha. We’ll definitely try the dropping a nap thing- we managed to get her down today for her first nap (after waking up at 4am!!) but she only slept for an hour so I’m a bit worried it’s just not enough at her age but also I see conflicting advice on how long they should nap for so I’m at a loss. She also doesn’t have a teddy or blanket or anything like that so definitely worth trying that too- thanks for your help!

Solidarity - my 13 month old is SO clingy currently (mainly to her dad...!) and sleep has become a hot mess. She is on one nap as of recently and is now over AND undertired somehow. I would second the teddy/comforter idea.

I remember DS1 going through something similar at around 12/13 months. He would also get night terrors and wake up screaming in the middle of the night. i definitely think it’s developmental and something your LO will most definitely grow out of.

At around 13/14 months, we put DS1 in his own room and started putting him down awake. I would make sure he wasn’t overtired and give him his favourite blanket and teddy. We made the bedtime routine as fun and relaxing as possible, lots of stories and cuddles. For the first few nights I’d sit with him next to his cot for a bit. Then I started putting him down and leaving the room. He would happily lie there for a while, but sometimes he’d cry, in which case I’d immediately come in and hold his hand or pick him up if needed. Eventually, he started to understand his new bedtime routine and would settle himself. It would take an hour, sometimes two hours at the start, for him to fall asleep but eventually he just settled himself.

For us, it was the perfect time for him to learn to soothe himself. Any younger and I don’t think it would’ve worked. I wouldn’t call it sleep training as such because I never let him cry. But he was old enough to understand that we would be there if he needed us.

He’s now a gorgeous 4 year old and those days feel like a lifetime ago. It will get better x