How did you get your child to sleep in their own room?

[whatamidoing1]

I need some help as i’m not sure what i am doing wrong or is this just normal??

I have a 2 and 3 year old who normally sleep in my bed it worked well as when i have work we all get a good nights sleep without any issues! On a work/nursery day we usually come upstairs around half5/6 and do baths for them and then let them watch some tv while i bath etc and then they usually are asleep by 7pm. On weekends this is slightly later. Neither on them will nap during the day unless we have a long car journey (not sure if this is relevant).

I am expecting baby no3 so have been trying to get them settled in there own room as it’s going to be to much going on having all 3 children in my room, although baby will be in moses basket for the first 6 months.

I have done the room up and brought nice new bedding and pillows. I’ve let them pick some toys to put in their new toy boxes etc and brought a reward chart each. They seemed really excited by this!

First night it got to 11pm and i gave up i was exhausted and as soon as they got into my bed they were both asleep within 5 mins. 2nd and 3rd night my 2 yo was unwell so wouldn’t leave my side so fell asleep in my bed as they puked up a few times! 3 yo fell asleep in her own bed eventually at 10pm and then slept through until 7.15am which i thought was great progress! 4th night 3 yo was sick everywhere so they were both very upset and came to my bed. Now tonight i thought we cracked it and they were both asleep in their own beds by 7.30pm, 3 yo woke up once and got her back to sleep and then woke up again and i couldn’t get her back to sleep! 2 yo then wakes up around 10pm and then as they seen their sibling awake they were then wide awake and have both been awake since!

How do i get them to sleep in their own beds? I am tired and in my third trimester and really do not have the energy to be up multiple times or up till midnight. Do i just give up and hope they eventually ask to go to their own beds? Do they need a later bedtime? Do i just continue this even thou i am exhausted?

Unfortunately they don't know any different as they have always been in your bed. They feel safe with you in your bed and probably don't understand why this is suddenly changing. If you want this to change it will take time and loads of patience. Unfortunately it will probably mean putting them back in their own beds lots of times and giving them lots of reassurance. Keep going with the reward chart (consistency is key and will probably take quite a few nights not just one of two) if they stay in their beds for a whole night they get a small treat - maybe a movie night or something - if they stay in their beds every night for a week a trip out of whatever they would enjoy. Lots of positive encouragement when they manage it!!! Not easy especially when pregnant but will be worth it in the end especially when baby arrives.

I would put a mattress into the new room and sleep with them in there for a week. Tell them to stay in their beds. Then you can slowly withdraw by moving further away. Put a monitor in there and then you can go through if one of them wakes up. It will get them used to being in there.

Do you have a partner? I assume you do since you’re pregnant. I would have him doing the nights if you are heavily pregnant and exhausted. He’ll need to do it once baby arrives anyway, so now is a good time to get started. It’s literally just getting them used to sleeping there and putting them back when they wake and probably sitting in there with them til they settle.

I don’t really think there are shortcuts really, other than just waiting til they sleep all night in their own rooms. For now, that starts with getting them to sleep in their own room to start and the rest will come with some persistence from the parent doing nights.

Only thing that has worked for us is to sit with them in their own bedrooms. Then when they are starting to get drowsy give them a kiss goodnight and tell them you will come back and check on them (small time span to begin with and increase). I'd usually say mummy really needs a wee and act squirmy rather than just see you later kind of thing. Or hang on I think someone is at the door, any excuse really.

DS has just turned 4 and now I can return after 15 mins or so. Half the time he has put himself to sleep. He just needed the reassurance that we were still around. Appreciate that would still make it a late night for you but it could just be the fear of being left alone.

We started having DD sleep on the sofa in our room, to start creating space, and then eventually started putting her to bed in her own room. We go down there at night to brush teeth in her bathroom, put on PJs in her room, read a few books in her bed, and turn out the lights. I sit in her room (usually with her, in bed, but sometimes I’ll sit in her glider in the corner) until she falls asleep, and then I go back upstairs to sleep in my room.

We have a little nightlight in there so that if she wakes up and needs to come find us, she doesn’t trip over anything. Sometimes if we can tell she’s not at all tired, or if she’s having a hard time falling asleep, we will give her a kid’s dose of melatonin (1 mg.) She doesn’t always sleep through the night in her own bed, but she’s still relegated to the sofa if she comes upstairs.

it took a lot of tries and patience and consistency to get her there

Thank you everyone for your replies! After i posted this i didn’t get either of them back down till 2.45am which was not ideal but older DD insisted on being put to sleep in her own bed as she was upset she wouldn’t get a sticker on the chart. Even thou i was exhausted and didn’t care at that point where they slept as long as they slept i was really happy by this! She managed another night in her own bed last night only waking once but i was able to settle her again so i feel like she was ready for this.

Younger DD is still refusing but she was sick again this morning so i imagine she isn’t quite feeling herself which isn’t helping. I think i am going to continue with older DD and then when younger DD is feeling better try again with her. My maternity leave does start in a few weeks so i have a few weeks to get this sorted. I think with baby no3 i will put in her in her own room from 6 months and so i dont have to re do this all in a few years haha!

Our 4 didn't sleep well. We did anything so we could get a good night's sleep. Do they have to sleep in the bed. We had a cot mattress on the floor next to our bed and if they woke up they would just walk in and go back to sleep. I think it was just separation anxiety. They all grow out if it eventually. 1 DC probably did it until about 8. Never tried talking them back in the middle of the night

I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong, it’s just bad luck that trying to break the habit if coming into your bed has coincided with a sickness bug. Seems like you’re pretty much there with DD1 which is great! DD2 will hopefully follow her sister when she’s feeling better. Just stay consistent and be patient! Good luck!