Is this typical for a 6yo?

[Lightsonandoff]

DS is 6 and no matter what I try I can't get him to stop fiddling with things unnecessarily, putting things in his mouth, and just generally get him to follow instructions. For example, he keeps putting his fingers in his mouth, the plastic bit at the end of the cord of his trousers (he chewed this off), random bits of plastic. If it's toys, i give him a warning and then take it off him if he keeps doing it. I've explained it's not safe/clean to put things in his mouth that aren't food. It's just not sinking in, or it is and he can't stop.

he also can't help touching EVERYTHING even things you wouldn't notice. For example, we are staying at a resort and someone had tucked away a glass of wine and biscuits in an alcove. I didn't even notice it was there until somehow DS managed to spill it all over himself. He walks past bushes ripping off leaves. He fiddles with cutlery/salt/pepper on the table (I take things away swiftly but he still finds them) I tell him every single time not to touch things that don't belong to him/not to rip leaves off plants etc but it doesn't sink in. Consequences do not work.

we were waiting for our luggage at the airport and he kept touching the luggage conveyor belt when it was moving. I gave him two warnings not to. 3rd time he tried to get on the conveyor belt and I had to drag him off and restrain him from returning to the conveyor belt because he kept trying to go back and was screaming and making a fuss. No one else's kid was trying to get on the conveyor belt.

we are away at the moment so I don't know if it's just excitement making it seem worse but he's like this at home too (touching things on kitchen worktop for no reason for example). My 3yo is so much easier to parent.

I don't know if this is typical or not. It doesn't feel typical but I have raised some issues with ships teach and she says he perfect at school and there are no issues.

I love him so much but I get so frustrated that sometimes I end up getting really frustrated and nagging a lot/telling him off and I feel like such a terrible parent. He has said a couple of times that he's a dumb child and the worst child - I have never said these words to him but this must clearly be how I'm making him feel.

any words of advice much appreciated.

Ps we have several of those silicone chewer necklaces/ never get used.

we also have colouring books etc for dinner time. Don't always work.

It does sound a little more than usual for a 6 year old. My 4 year old was like this, kids like her are the reason they put warnings on small toys to say for >3years as EVERYTHING went in her mouth, but she seems to have snapped out of it recently.
My DD (6) got threadworms (probably from school) and she was so grossed out all I need to do is mention bum worms now and her cuffs are out of her mouth! Saying that, she still runs her hand along every fence, handrail etc and is often picking leaves.
Is he aware he is doing it? And is he able to explain why it is dangerous to be climbing on the conveyor belt? It sounds a little like the excitement of the holiday may mean he’s not as able to self regulate

Ds is /was very similar to this. Will always find some emergency button, an outlet etc etc.

He was even more so fiddling with machines, locks, valves, anything mechanical at all. He took all the screws out of a chest of drawers the teacher had, for example

He's still the same now, 11, but it's more under control (thank god)

Sorry to answer your question: not sure if it's normal or not.

It's definitely a good thing in some ways that he's so curious as he ends up knowing so much stuff which I would never even notice I.e. if the car is in reverse, the windscreen wipers stay on.

Ds will take stuff apart and figure out how it works. Which is easier now, as we know the score, when he was smaller it was so misdirected i.e. unscrewing valves on the washing machine etc 🤯

My DD (6) does mouth things more since age 4 than she did at 2! I wandered if she was making up from being a not very mouthing baby. Also, wobbly teeth.

I work with kids
Sounds pretty normal
Everything is interesting and to be discovered
Why wouldn't you touch it?

I would give him opportunities to touch things- if it's not doing any harm then why stop him?
But obviously explain why it's not ok to touch some things

He’s either just very curious or is quite sensory seeking maybe?

with the mouthing, every single time “that is not for chewing, this is” and hand him the necklace. You have to be really consistent to get them to use the necklaces effectively.

fidget toys for when he can’t fiddle with other stuff. You can get loads of different ones. Might be worth getting a small selection to keep in a small pencil case to take out with you. Just keep reinforcing the message that some things are not for fiddling with but he can do xyz.

music or a story/podcast through headphones might help to keep on track in places like airports etc

also pick your battles, he’s sounds like he’s seeking sensory input all the time and isn’t just being a pain. He will be finding it really hard to fight these impulses and more input with things he can have rather than taking away will be much more effective.

I remember my cousin being like this. My dad once said to him 'don't ever get a job where if you touch the wrong button it'll cause a problem'.

He now flies helicopters for a living!

My ds is like this. I have to what I call 'treadmill parenting' which basically means you engage constantly in situations where they are impulsive to touch/do stuff. So the luggage belt scenario you are not just standing waiting for luggage, you are talking to him about whether he'd rather be a T-Rex with ballet shoes or a ballerina with tiny t-rex arms, then what he thinks the colour of the sky would be if everyone ate carrots all the time. NEVER PAUSE. The pauses are the bits that he climbs into an air duct and gets arrested for terrorism.

Sounds like a form of stimming from ADHD or ASD to be honest. Doesn't mean there's anything pathologically wrong with it. Some kids just like having extra stimuli and getting sensory (pressure/textural) input from their fingers probably helps them relax or concentrate. DD has ADHD and does this to a lesser extent. She won't touch unsanitary surfaces or strange objects but she always likes to carry a toy or something in her hands. In the car she's constantly fiddling with the light switch, the seat belt, the seat pocket etc. She did have a phase around 4-5 where she chewed her hair and clothes zippers/straps incessantly. I also bought those silicone necklaces but she didn't like it and then grew out of the phase eventually.

My ds was like this. He's now 18 and a joiner, so working with his hands all day. He's never been very good at sitting still. But neither am I, I usually crochet while watching tv. I'm a bit lost if I have nothing to do with my hands.

He always had something in his pocket to fidget with, usually toy cars and he'd drive them around the table or along walls or whatever. I don't know if that's more or less annoying for you than constantly fiddling with other things?

Is it typical? I'd say my ds was at the extreme end of typical. But he's turned out okay so I wouldn't worry.