Advice on sleeping in Moses basket /Co sleeping

[Ros2023]

So I am obviously aware that it is still really early days but wanted some advice. My baby is almost 4 weeks old and likes to be held most of the time. Bedtimes are tricky because she just wants me which I know is completely normal however my partner isn’t happy with Co sleeping. He’s terrified he elbows her, knocks her, rolls onto her etc. So I am wondering whether to persevere with putting her in her Moses basket every night? Or get a next to be crib? Has anyone else been in this situation and managed to make it work?

Hi i was the same before i had baby i was adamant not cosleeping but i found it so hard not to, i always place myself between her and my partner with the quilt half way down the bed abd she has a sleeping bag on. I do keep trying with the next to me but she’s instantly awake so for me the only other option would be to let her cry it out in there which i dont have the stomach for. I started properly cosleeping from around 1/2 months, my little girl is now 5 months. If youre breastfeeding look into the c sleep position and the lullaby trust: www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/safer-sleep-information/co-sleeping/

He shouldn't be able to knock her or roll onto her because you should be in the middle?

You should always be between your baby and any hazards, including your partner, when co-sleeping.

Honestly, sleep is the most important thing right now. If co-sleeping works, your partner sleeps on the sofa, floor or in the spare room. Dh literally slept on a single mattress on the floor at the foot of our bed for a year with both of ours. Neither of mine would ever settle in a Moses basket, though a next to me cot or similar sidecar cot is also an option. If your partner isn’t happy about that, then I’d turn the job of settling in the Moses basket over to him each night. He will suddenly be very grateful for the sofa. 😂

If you’re going to cosleep you really need to look up how to do it safely (lullaby trust should have good info) because she shouldn’t be anywhere near your partner. Cosleeping cot like the next to me could also be a really good solution if it’s not exactly your first choice to cosleep but more of necessity as it’ll allow you hopefully you to transition away from it.

He should be in a different bed or you should be between him and her. You are more aware of where she is even asleep. Look up how to co-sleep safely. You can persevere with the moses basket to be safer but for one of mine that never worked.

Look in to setting up a sidecar cot.

It's likely to have more longevity x

Thanks everyone 💕 I’m aware that baby doesn’t sleep in the middle of us I just think my partner is panicking. Family and friends keep saying she will just have to get used to the moses basket but right now I know that priority is sleep. I’m so scared of having lack of sleep. I have 2 older children and know the impact no sleep can have and if I can help by letting baby sleep with me for now that’s okay! I want to do what comes naturally to me and right now I think co sleeping is it!
do any of you worry that baby may fall out of the bed?

We had a moses basket downstairs for naps and a next to me upstairs. I would definitely recommend. We used until he was 7 months. It's good for you aswell because you'll be close to baby. We did and still do sometimes cosleep. Baby won't fall out of bed as she won't be rolling yet. Look it up on the NHS website it's totally safe to do and I love cosleeping. make sure there's no pillows or blankets near by is probably the most important thing xx

Husbands are notorious for not liking the idea of co-sleeping (it’s actually bed sharing that he’s referring to - co sleeping is when the baby is in the room with you vs the bed).

I would get rid of the Moses basket and get a next2me to start with: you can always put the Moses basket in the next2me to try. But you know by now that your baby will keep waking up until they’re physically next to you. They are programmed to do so, as are all mammals. So the whole idea of keeping them separate at night goes against that, and will make your life harder & means you all get less sleep in the long run.

Personally, I would be looking at safely bed sharing and using the lullaby trust guidance. And hubbie can sleep in the spare room. It’s not forever and if he’s back at work anyway then it will suit him more to be somewhere else. And if you’re breastfeeding then this setup will work even better, as eventually baby should feed lying down, so you won’t even have to get up or open your eyes when they feed at night.

Dont believe the hype about sleep training and making a rod for your own back etc etc. Just do whatever gets you the most sleep
to survive these early months. They’re hard enough as it is.

Also on the rolling out of bed thing, yes that was a worry but I always had a next2me setup, so they would roll into that if they did. If you’ve got space try to get 2 next2me’s setup on either side of the bed. But baby won’t be rolling for a while yet x

I found a next-to-me type crib very useful, even if I occasionally had to co sleep as it stop me worrying about baby rolling onto the floor but it also wasn't something she could get stuck behind (agree with pp, baby shouldn't be between you!) . I also breastfed and it was so much easier just to feed her to sleep then a short lift to the crib and we both could sleep comfortably. She then did get used to sleeping in there alone.

If it wasn't in your plan/budget have a look at getting a side crib second hand but get a new mattress for it.

I have the bed pushed against the wall and the moses basket on the bed. Then baby is in the bed with me but safe. I think it helps him stay warmer

Look up The Happy Cosleeper on Facebook/instagram

I never intended to but, like you, found it the best way to get most sleep.

If you can get them asleep in the basket it’s easier. I warmed the basket up with a hot water bottle and put them on a baby sheepskin or a fleece blanket (very low pile baby one) tucked in like a sheet. Some
people find a worn tshirt as sheet works well as it smells of you
i did cosleep as well but liked to have a chunk of the night in bed without a baby

I had this issue with my DD (now 4mths old). It was so hard to get her into her next to me crib, she wanted to be held all night. Before having her I swore I would never ever co-sleep, that lasted a few days before sleep deprivation really took over me and I needed to sleep so I gave in and coslept for a few nights. I found I never got a good night's sleep when cosleeping with her as I was always so paranoid and conscious of her being there, and I needed to be able to move around in the night as my body ached after the pregnancy and birth and I couldn't do that when co-sleeping. I tried to persevere and get her into her next to me crib and for the most part she does sleep in there now but it was tough and a battle of wills for a while to get her to stay in there. I had to keep a hand on her in the night or hold her hand, or even keep an arm around her while she was in her crib and move away a little bit at a time until she got used to it. She does still usually end up in my bed at 4/5am though but it's better than it was

I'm confused why he thinks he will roll over her but you say he never sleeps next to the baby?

Personally, I avoided cosleeping as I was too scared. And he started rolling back to front at 12 weeks but not front to back until close to 6 months. So it would have been extremely unsafe, even a firm adult mattress is not as safe as an infant mattress.