Snapping at bedtime

[puddlegoose]

Context: 5 year old and 3 year old DC. DH’s job means he isn’t always at home for bedtime.

I would say that I am normally quite patient with my children but when it comes to bed time I feel like I can only be calm for so long before I snap and shout at the kids. It feels like they push, push, push and I’m calm, calm, calm and then snap.

They draw out getting ready for bed, wind each other up, cry and protest, talk talk talk, procrastinate. I’m sure this is all normal. My question is, is my reaction “normal”? Does anyone else feel particularly reactive around bed time? How do I interrupt the pattern of being calm and then suddenly reacting with shouting?

or do they need to be shouted at because nothing else gets through to them?

I could honestly have written the same thing. By bedtime my patience has been worn so thin that I end up snapping. My 9 year old went to bed this evening without a bedtime kiss and cuddle. We are moving house soon, the kids will have their own room each which I’m hoping will make bedtime easier. Also making time out easier, where if they’re misbehaving they go to their own room. This isn’t a possibility for a lot of people. We are currently quite cooped up in our current home.

I’ve just sat and cried to my DP because I snapped and shouted at my 7 year-old DD.
I felt that guilty I went in 30 minutes later to kiss her.
I’m heavily pregnant and sat with my Mum’s ashes ready to scatter them in a few days so I’m extra emotional anyway.

It helped me (prior to my added emotional stress) that I resigned myself to spending around half an hour in bed with her until she fell asleep. It made me feel less rushed/impatient.
I’d answer a few of her many questions in the darkness and then I’d ignore the question and “night night [name], love you” and she’d fall asleep much quicker.
If she carried on, I’d say “I’m going to have to leave your room if you can’t fall asleep with me sitting here” and that helped.

Oh saaaaaame! I've got a four year old and a two year old and my patience is shot by bedtime. What helped me was to make a plan and let them know at the same time. E.g. if they start shrieking and winding each other up I say that they need to use quiet voices because otherwise I can't sit in their bed for cuddles because it hurts my ears. And then I follow through and sit on the floor and just hold hands if it carries on. So rather than the pattern of remind remind remind snap I remind, tell them what will happen, and then do it.

This is me too. I don’t know what the answer is but we’re all tired by that point so it happens. Having an irritable mum at bedtime isn’t the worst thing, I’m sure they still get the cuddles and stories and everything they need.

Thank you all for the responses. I think a lot of it is getting impatient with thinking I want time to myself once they are finally asleep so I take the point that I should resign myself to bedtime taking two hours and if it’s quicker that’s a good thing. I’ve tried saying I’ll leave if the behaviour continues but then more crying happens and we’re in a vicious cycle because I don’t want to face the crying or the behaviour.

Now they’re asleep I should probably sleep myself but like them I want to stay awake for longer so I’ll be tired again tomorrow. Not helping myself. Oh the irony.