Always worried about baby’s health..

[meagain3]

I find my anxiety at night is just roaring. All I see on social media is baby’s with cancer, sepsis, rsv etc. when baby goes to bed at night and I have a moment to breathe and think I get intense worry that he might get ill one day. I love him so much and obviously never want anything to happen. I know it’s out of my control even if he did but I can’t help but feel physically sick at the thought of it. I just feel so dreadful for any mother going through anything of the sort. I never used to be like this before becoming a mum. Now I have my own I can’t put things like that at the back of my mind anymore. I’m on the verge of tears just looking at his newborn photos and thinking about how bloody precious he is!!

did anyone else experience this? Did it go away? Should I see the gp?
im kind of embarrassed, hes fine now and healthy and I should be greatful. I find myself waking up around 3 times through the night to check he’s still breathing, I’m so worried about sids I wish the night away with my breath held just so he can wake up and I know he’s made the night fine.

what would the gp suggest for this type of anxiety?

How old is he?
If your anxiety is so severe it’s affecting your sleep it’s definitely worth seeing your gp about it
It would also really advise taking a break from social media. It’s designed to feed anxiety these days.

It may also be worth mentioning it to your health visitor as well as they may have more experience of postpartum anxiety specifically than a gp

For every intrusive thought about your baby becoming ill, force yourself to imagine in detail his 100th birthday party, which is much more likely to happen than something happening to him today.

This is an unsustainable level of anxiety, I'd talk to your GP about it. Do you think it would help to do a baby first aid course so that you are confident spotting genuine warning signs rather than panicking about every little gurgle?

Speak to your HV or GP, whoever is most helpful.

Get off social media. Avoid the news for a while.

I know this is going to sound counter productive and I'm sure I'll get flamed for saying this, but I also had anxieties about my baby stopping breathing at night and I bought a Snuza Hero monitor. There are loads of similar things on the market but I believe that one is the only one endorsed by a reputable source (I can't remember who, my baby is now 4).

no amount of therapy would have alleviated my anxiety so for me it was the only way. It definitely did help and now 4 years later things are better (it didn't take 4 years!)

And yes also second coming off social media for a while, or at least downloading an app blocker to limit it

I was exactly like this with my first. It was crippling. Every night I went to sleep feeling like there was about a 50% chance of SIDS.

Firstly- YES it gets better and when it does it's wonderful and life is so much more bright and joyful for it, and motherhood isn't this constant state of suppressed fear. It'll happen to you too :)

Second YES you should go to your GP- if you can get on top of it sooner, then you will spend more of your child's precious early years in a more peaceful state, enjoying more rather than being scared and spending wasted time in that worry.

I certainly hope other posters don't feel the need to ridicule you over this. Post natal anxiety is real. But it is also recoverable. Best of luck to you xxx

You are feeding your algorithm by watching the videos, you'll see more and more if you watch them.

Speak to your health visitor and get referred for mental health care if you feel you need to - they are very good with new mums.

I felt like this when mine were little. I think its the hormones - there for a purpose but really intense!! I read somewhere that when you become a mother, you become a mother to all children xx

Thankyou all ! I need to think about what to say to the gp. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed for some reason. I know I need to as this isn’t a normal level of anxiety :(

baby is 3 months.

@Pancakewaffle I have a snuzza hero monitor that he has on every night which helps a little but of course my brain is saying I’ll be the unlucky one that the monitor doesn’t go off or some disaster. I was looking at an owlets sock too but I know I need to control my anxiety instead!

so true! I was never a children person before I had my own. Now I feel like a mother duck😅x

You have taught the algorithm that you will tend to click on /watch content about poorly babies, so it's feeding you more and more of that content. That's making you more anxious and causing you to be even more likely to click on the content.

Delete all your social media accounts. If you want to go back, set up new accounts and train them to be interested in wholesome things (kittens, baking, pottery, sewing, celebrity gossip, whatever you are into).

And go and speak to your GP about some help with your anxiety.

You're in a negative cycle right now, but you can break out of it

It is natural to feel so protective over your child, especially your first as you're doing something new and scary.

Having worked with families whose children have been unwell and had poor outcomes, it is important to understand that they could not have changed the situations that their children went through.

You do the best you can, but you cannot control the world and it may be foolish to worry about all the negative possibilities.

What's really good and positive is that although you are spiralling, you're able to see that you're spiralling - you just need some help to break out of that. One day at a time. Maybe try practising explaining it as though you were talking about a friend so that you're a little detached from it?

I had this, it's rife at the beginning for alot of people. The intrusive thoughts are unreal, it feels like your mind is unravelling with them at night. Night time even when not post partum, sleep deprived and recovering from birth, is the worst time to think of serious things, so you can try and recognise the spiralling and break that cycle with a mantra or a shake of the head just to stop for a moment.

Even getting up and walking to another room, just anything to break that cycle and try to think of something else. It's natural and normal, but it's shit. I used to imagine the worst scenarios and worry so much, so much so I have a seat belt cutter in my glove box and one of those window breakers in the car, you know I'm case I drive off a bridge by accident and need to cut my child from his car seat 😅 I do NOT miss the post partum brain, and I'm here with a nearly 2 year assuring you it does heal and it does get easier.

Hi OP! Not to this extent but I was very similar with the sort of worries you mention.I think to a certain extent its normal and a natural sign of a protective, loving mother, however it can easily progress into a unhealthy level of anxiety.
I had this happen to me...I was having intrusive thoughts about something happening to her, I was paranoid about her being harmed and I went to A&E with her 8 times in her first year due to health anxiety.When I was getting ready to take her to the hospital I had intrusive thoughts about not bringing her home again.It was pretty horrible at times.
I had CBT when she was a toddler and it really helped me rationalise my concerns.

This is me. I have the most irrational thoughts too, like what if this were to happen while we're driving, or this happens while we're at home etc. I feel the same, I just love him so much I just can't bare the thought of something possibly happening