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Toilet Training Challenges - 3 year old girl

2 replies

YellowSeven · 25/05/2025 14:08

My LO is 3y4m. She’s always been very bright, very chatty at home and very independent. We tried toilet training quite early on once she turned 2 but decided she wasn’t ready as we didn’t have much success. We started again last October when she was 2y9m as she started a new preschool in September and wanted to wait until she’d settled - she picked it up well at home but struggled with her confidence at nursery and preschool. She did fantastically for a few months at home, over Christmas time we visited family and family she quite happily used the potty. However after her 3rd birthday she just started refusing it all together. Nothing at home has changed, so we are not sure what triggered this. We ended up taking a break for a couple of months because it really started to affect my relationship with her as I found it extremely frustrating. After the break I tried to reintroduce it in a fun way, and she was excited for pants again. Since then she’s generally been dry at nursery and preschool which is great and I’m really proud of her, but at home she refuses to try 99% of the time. I don’t want it to be a battlefield but I can’t understand how to get her to use it. We’ve tried sticker charts, treats, toilet seats, decorating the potty, everything. But she’s so strong willed I just feel like nothing will work.
I am finding it very hard and taking her out and about gives me anxiety. I of course don’t make a big deal of it at home, we just clean up the accident and remind her to try again next time. I almost don’t want any advice but a forum to share my feelings on.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Springadorable · 25/05/2025 14:22

I think you do need to ensure she understands the problem with weeing on the floor rather than not making any fuss. If she doesn't want to try for a wee I'd say something like "ok, the potty is there. Remember if wee goes in your pants we'll have to stop playing to go get changed and put your toys away to be cleaned if they get wee on them." Because really, she's old enough to understand the issues.

Pantheon · 25/05/2025 19:04

I think in your shoes I'd either go down the bribery route (is there a toy she particularly wants that girls who use the toilet get to have?) Or just get rid of nappies one day and say big girls wear pants at home and power through any accidents (and make it a bit of a chore to get out of dirty clothes and get clean etc)

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