Is my husband to rough with our 1 year old?

[Mamma1992]

Hi,

im a first time mum to a 17 month old baby boy.

he’s the best. He’s so clever, loving and wild.

me and my husband work well together parenting and my husband is very close with him.

the only thing is I don’t know if my husband is just being to rough with him for a 1 year old. My 1 year old is a very boisterous and a bit wild but at the same time quite sensitive.But my husband will throw him around and tickle and kiss him but until my 1 year old is red in the face laughing and then pushes him off saying dada and seems like he’s a bit overwhelmed.

he also does things like puts his foot on him when he’s on the floor and pushes him with his foot. Not with any weight or pressure but I don’t like it.

he plays games with him where he hides and then jumps out and scares him. My 1 year old screams laughing but I do wonder that even though my baby seems to like this if it’s a bit overwhelming for his age. He does seem to get a bit crazy after.

he doesnt sleep well either and I’ve started to think maybe he’s scared at night because of all these scaring games?

whenever I say to my husband about it he just says that our son loves it and it’s what boys do. I just would like other’s opinions.

maybe I’m just being overprotective

I don’t know what’s right or wrong but I would say, comparing to my own children… I was hiding/ jumping out on my 3.5 yo today - he screamed and laughed and wanted to keep playing, even after I’d said that game was over. I wouldn’t do that with my almost 2yo though. Children are all different so I’m not saying categorically that 17 months is too young for that sort of thing, just that for me, it doesn’t feel fair to play like that with my 2yo.

@ViaRia01 thats the thing. My son does to be enjoying it. He is going crazy laughing and screaming but I just am not sure if it’s too much. I’m worried that it’s too young and he’s going to end up scared.

Your DH sounds like he’s a lovely dad who’s having lots of fun with your son. Your son is laughing so must be enjoying it. Sounds like a blast.

If it’s too much he’ll cry and make it clear. Children release oxytocin through closeness and nurturing behaviour with their mothers, they release oxytocin through physical interaction and rough and tumble with their fathers. There are studies on this; it might be uncomfortable for you but it’s important bonding and development that is happening. If your husband was ignoring clear signs that LO didn’t like then I’d say put your foot down but it seems that the only one who doesn’t like it is you so I wouldn’t worry

As long as your baby is not crying or seems unhappy, it's fine. However absolutely don't allow that right before bedtime. My DH loves playing with baby and making him laugh but he was riling him up before bed. I put my foot down and he saw what difference it made and agreed to keep bedtime boring.

I think so long as your DH is aware of signs that your DS wants it to stop and takes notice of them, it’s fine. Toddlers are quite robust things. There’s a good Bluey episode on this topic though (as ever). I suspect you’re reading too much into the fact that he has trouble sleeping and seeing causation when there likely isn’t any there.

This.
Butt out and leave them to it. Better than a deadbeat dad always on his phone.
But agree on no silly antics and whipping the baby up before bedtime (unless he fancies dealing with it!)

My DH does this with our DC. Personally I hate people jumping out at me, but 21 month old DD has started jumping out at us now and shouting boo, and from the delight on her face it's clear she loves it.