Struggling With Interaction And Play

[Louishadouglin]

I have a 16 month old baby boy, and one of my main struggles is interacting and playing with him.

For context I’m a first time, single mum with very little support with my little one. I stuggle to do anything playful, even the bare minimum of singing and talking as much as I feel I should. I think my main issue is I’m always running on what feels like 10%, with such little support and having to juggle a million and one things I’m always so tired and lack in energy and enthusiasm to engage with him. It really makes me feel like a terrible mum and I’m failing him, especially now he should be learning words etc.

It’s something I really want to work on, but I honestly don’t know how. I can spend around 10 minutes before I run out of things to say or do? I wonder if anyone could possibly recommend, activities I could do at home, a routine of things to do daily etc?

I also really don’t know how to talk to him in a way that can help him learn words and engage with me in whatever it is I’m doing or saying to him.

Any support and help would truly be appreciated as I don’t want to fail him and keep this feeling of not doing enough or having a great bond with him because I don’t know how to interact with him.

Can you do things that get you out of the house and meeting other people at the same time? Library rhyme time or council/church play groups? It's really hard to do things by yourself when you're running on fumes.

My daughter is 13 months old now and I mainly just chat to her really, I narrate everything I do to her, I chat away to her if we are on a walk, eating, in the shops/cafe etc the same way I would a friend (although one sided obviously😂). I also read books with her, we have flash cards and I do some with her every day (sometimes she has no patience for this and that’s fine), I sit opposite her and will say words or sound words out so she can copy, we sing nursery songs with the hand actions so now she knows the actions for the words in lots of her songs and will do the actions herself (like wind the bobbin up, wheels on the bus, open/shut them). I’ll also show her something and then repeat the word for it a few times until she copies it back, so “ball” we did this for and now she will go pick up a ball and tell me “ball”, we did it with snack and she will now go to the cupboard and ask for “snack”, same with a bottle, her teddy, blanket etc, she will say “up” for wanting to be picked up because we also repeat the words for actions back to her.

As PP suggested we also do playgroups, sensory, music classes etc, even just going and sitting in a cafe together and chat away as if it’s your friend sat opposite you.

For her age I do think her speech is really good, maybe it is just sheer luck but I like to think our efforts have helped her at least a bit! It’s just about integrating it into your day rather than having like a 10 min scheduled time to work on it if that makes sense :)

I didn't do much structured playing at that age, more just stuff around the house like getting him to help load the washing machine, press buttons, choose cereal from the cupboard. I chatted away to them though.

That age was a lot of running errands together, sitting on the kitchen side (or standing in the learning tower) while I tidied/cooked. I just give the something to fiddle with. Playgroups a couple of times a week. Lots of reading books together. Not very much 'playing' with them apart from the odd 10 mins here or there.

Would definitely recommend a learning tower!

It's lovely that you care about this.

I was absolutely shattered when DC were very young. I didn't have much energy to play. I just chatted about what we were doing all the time. And asked questions. Things like 'Mummy's making breakfast now. Coffee for Mummy and milk for J. Ooh look, the toast popped up! Do we want triangles or soldiers?'

This sort of chat isn't too hard, but it builds their vocabulary and their brains and helps them bond with you. When they are very little, they don't really understand words like 'me' or 'you' which is why I used names instead of pronouns.

When we were out, I'd just point out things they liked: Oh look, a digger! A horse! A dog! And ask questions. What is the digger doing? Where is the horse going? Doesn't matter if you don't understand their answer or it doesn't make sense. It helps build their communication skills.

And then I just found a couple of very easy games to play with them, like peekaboo, which helps them learn that people who go away can come back, so it helps them with separation anxiety if you play it quite a lot. Or build a tower until it falls down, then build it again, to teach them how it's okay for things to go wrong and to try again.

Sometimes just carrying them on your hip in the kitchen while you listen to a song you love is enough. Or snuggling up on the sofa to watch CBeebies while you have a cup of tea. They get most of their stimulus from the world around them. The ones I feel sad for are the ones whose parents are glued to their mobile phones.

Solo parenting babies is HARD

Hmmm
My ds is same ish age but i have older kids too.

I dont really sit and play...

I "play" / interact as i do my day
so at breakfast so I'll let him toddle around and I'll pretend to chase him or do a bit of peakaboo...I'll put the radio on and have a dance....(this happens regularly he loves watching me dance like a loon)

Folding laundry same shtick hold up clothing to fold hide behind it - peekaboo.

Snack time i tell him what he is eating and what mummy thinks about it... 😬

On walks i point at things or let him touch leaves etc in the pram. I chunter away and talk about whatever .

We go to the park and mess about on the junior / baby bit.

I leave him to play independently a fair bit
Best toys IMO

• simple ball
• stacking cups
• toys that let balls roll down

By that i mean this sort of a thing
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jacootoys-Wooden-Marble-Racing-Layers/dp/B09LHHYNMH/ref=ascdfB09LHHYNMH?mcid=96bda68937193af3be35202d8bb5488e&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697176003270&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15137239669304745793&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9193121&hvtargid=pla-1841562810712&psc=1&hvocijid=15137239669304745793-B09LHHYNMH-&hvexpln=0&gadsource=1

We have about 4 baby books with flaps.
Where's Mr duck? is a real banger...

Sometimes I put some baby cartoons on and watch them with him and chat away about what's happening whileplaying on my phone a bit
Dinner is just let him fart about with a box of sippy cup bits on the floor while I cook.
He also loves spatulas. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Then a play in the bath with a few plastic toys and beloved stacking cups ...

And then to bed....

They start getting more from playgroups now and they burn a morning... church ones are good (& cheap!!)

I honestly think that talking to them and chatting away is one of the best things you can do. Cooking dinner? Sit them on the floor or in a bumbo or something, give them a saucepan and a wooden spoon to bash away with and as someone else said, just narrate what you're doing to them! Having a baby just gave me an excuse to talk to myself 😂