Nursery help

[liltshake]

Hi, no judgment please as I’m feeling really stressed about this as it’s kind of my fault.

My DS was at a lovely nursery from age 1-3. I was only working 2 days, so he just did 2 days. He loved it, but didn’t always love it, found it hard to go back if he’d been off for a week and settling was hard. But overall I loved the nursery and so did he, they knew him so well, very holistic but also very down to earth. It was lovely.

I was offered a full time job (teacher) in a school about 40 mins away and on paper I loved the school, so excitedly accepted the job and informed his nursery that he’d be moving to the school I was working at. He left the nursery and I was really unsure if it was the right decision but it seemed like the best option.

I started the job, and HATED it. The school was so toxic, staff were really unwelcoming and quite mean, the way they ran things I couldn’t get on board with. So I quit after one week. Basically I knew from day 1 I had made a mistake. I don’t regret that decision at all but for my son I feel it’s been really unfair.

He was then out of nursery for about 2 months, at home with me. I found a local nursery I liked, and started him there 2 days a week. He really doesn’t like it, literally screams when I drop him off, and apparently asks for cuddles all day and is tearful on and off throughout the day. He has a friend there (my friends DD) so I thought he would like it. He says he doesn’t like the rooms or the teachers. He’s been going for about 6 weeks, no real improvement. I just feel so guilty about it all! I should never have taken him out of the original nursery and been so irresponsible to take a job and quit it after one week when that affects him.

I feel the new nursery staff are lovely but also haven’t made much effort to get to know him. He’s had some health issues which may also be playing a part in how he’s feeling. The rooms are also tiny.

So I guess I’m just asking if anyone has experienced anything similar. Should I push through with the new nursery? Does he actually dislike it or is it just too much change? I feel moving him again will be too much upheaval again and what if he doesn’t like the next one!

Sorry for the very long post, thank you if you got this far

I'm assuming the previous nursery is now full?

@Springadorable I’m not sure, the previous one was also 20 mins away by public transport which was okay but not ideal if I want to get back into work. I have considered asking if he could go back but again I thought that would be unsettling for him. I’ve talked to him loads about why he doesn’t like it. He says he doesn’t miss his old nursery, he doesn’t like any nursery, just wants to be with me.

Oh that's tricky! Are you working now? If he's three can he start preschool (depends where you are though)?

@Springadorable Im working supply, so not in a regular school, and only 1 or 2 days a week. I feel a bit stuck, like I need to settle him somewhere I know he’s happy before I take something more permanent. It’s hard. He’s obviously my priority and I feel like I’ve messed things up for him, he seems to have become a bit anxious since all of this, he was very happy and easygoing before

We are also hoping to move area before he starts school, as we rent and need more space. So that kind of rules out putting him in a pre school where I would hope he’d go to school, which would be ideal.

If you’re not working, does he know you’re at home while he is at nursery? That may be why he is keen not to go. As he thinks you’re having fun without him. Perhaps say you’re going to work?

I think if you are happy with the nursery stick with it.

I am not criticising or trying to hurt you but he’s already been to three settings and it sounds like there might be a fourth in the future. I think right now you all need stability.

@goforsleep Thank you. I think you’re right and that helps, because I think I should just stick this one out and hopefully he starts to enjoy it. I think it’s a nice place and the staff seem nice. Just quite different to his old one. I really hope things improve! He has had enough upheaval.

@RocketLollyPolly I did say I was going to work today and he just kept saying he doesn’t want me to go to work. But I think you’re right, I’ll keep reiterating that.

@goforsleep Just to add, he didn’t actually start the second nursery at the school I was working at, he was meant to start the week after. I still feel that wasn’t helpful tho as he thought he was starting a new nursery, then suddenly didn’t