Son doesn't want to talk to dad anymore.

[Mummaonherown]

This never ever stops for me. My ex has a new relationship and lives with his gf and her 3 DD 2 hours away from myself and our 5year old DS who is on the waiting list for ADHD.

My ex literally disappeared from our lives, once this time last year when he first started to cheat, he hardly saw son for 3 months, then came back into our lives as that relationship didn't work out, I begged him not to do that to our son again if he wanted to be with someone else, then go, but he insisted he wanted to be a family and try again then in October last year he cheated again. He has been in a relationship with his new GF since December moved in with her in march.
He hardly sees our son, 5 hours a week, doesn't call him or make a real effort, the only time he will make a real effort is when his gf takes her 3 DD out and he wants to take our son to play Disney dad.

Anyway, the last 2 weeks, he hasn't called he's just seen our son on Sunday 5 hours. I've called a few times but I've been told not to call as it's "coming in-between his relationship"
Yesterday I did call my ex, my ex asked to speak with our son and he refused. Later on I asked my son why he didn't want to speak to daddy he said " because daddy doesn't answer the phone and he's evil"
On Sunday, he wouldn't sit with his dad or really acknowledge him, clung to me for around 45 mins and followed me to the shop, wouldn't sit in the house with him or go to the park with him, I had to tag along.

How do I handle this, my ex has told me that him and his gf are planning on having a baby, and he thinks this will "help" our son, when in fact I think it will do the opposite.

Any advice?

Does he actually want to see your DS? I can’t help thinking that if he and his gf have a new baby, they will be too tied up with that to be much bothered about him. I’d tell DEx that he has upset his DS, and that you can’t make him want to see his father. I certainly wouldn’t upset my son by insisting that he sees an absent parent who isn’t much bothered about him.

@sesquipedalian he says he does, but actions speak louder than words right.
He used to pick son up from nursery once a week/come down mid week, that has stopped now he hasn't collected from nursery since mid march. His excuse, he will get to nursery 10 mins late, so there's no real point (so what happened to a mid week visit) whenever he does visit his eye is firmly on the clock and he wants to get back as it's 2 hours travel. He comes down at 1.30 and leave at 6.30.
He has had him 5 times overnight this year at his mum's house (PGM) and hasn't mentioned having him overnight since we had a huge fall out in march.

Agree, as soon as the baby comes as predicted my son will be pushed further down the line.
Part of me feels to cut it all now as I can see where it's headed.

Is there anything legal in place that says your DS has to visit? If not, I would just not bother, and see how long it is before DEx mentions anything - and when he does, remind him about the phone calls and “coming in between his relationship”. I think it’s v hard, because he’s the only father your DC will ever have, but I’m sensing that with two hours’ travel time and your son’s unwillingness to be parted from you, the relationship with his father seems doomed.

@sesquipedalian nothing legal, he's refused to do medation (I set it up three times) and told me not to bother with court, wants it all on his terms. I've given up fighting, so for a easier life I go along with it.

Agreed I think the relationship will be very strained, I've asked him to do things separately from his gf and her 3 DC for awhile to get a good father and son bond again, he doesn't really want to. I get he wants our son involved with his new "family" (7 months in, really) but surely he can see the issues our son is having