Is 3months to young to put them in their own cot

[meagain3]

We bed share atm, DS wakes up once or twice a night for a feed then straight back to sleep. I’m eager to stop bed sharing as it makes me anxious. He has a next to me crib but he’s a big boy (17lbs and 74cm) the next to me litterally tilts onto one side if he moves in it so he wakes up continuously and screams.

I’ve put his big cot into my bedroom and have been introducing naps through the day in his cot. He sleeps fine for naps but at night time he screams and screams. Is it just too early? If it’s okay, any tips for the transition? I won’t take the cot out of my room into his own until he’s atleast 6 months!

I moved my oldest into his cot when he was around 3 months after outgrowing the moses basket. Was a bit challenging fitting his cot into our bedroom for a couple of months but made it work somehow.
Didn't have any issues at all, I don't think DS even noticed the difference

Once he turned 6 months we moved it back in his bedroom.

Cots are designed for babies! Most go in them from birth!

It's not but it sounds like he's not happy in the cot.

If you are following the SS7, there is no need to feel anxious about bedsharing.

Any tips to transition? What do people do if the baby gets to 1 and still don’t like the cot😅

We never used a cot. When she was around 18 months, we put a floor bed in her room and one of us would lie with her until she fell asleep, then go off and enjoy our evening. She'd then crawl into our bed at some point in the early hours for "milkies" and sleep in with us the rest of the night.

That tailed off gradually and she was 3 when she reliably stayed in her own bed all night.

She's 5 now and for the last few months, we don't lie with her anymore- after stories she listens to an audiobook and falls asleep by herself.

No. Next question.

All of mine went into their own cot from birth. No bed sharing.

That was my plan he’d just never settle in his own cot unfortunately

So did mine. That's what cots are for.

Mine went from Moses basket to cot in own room at about two months. We all slept so much better thereafter. Neither never ever came into our bed. They never knew it was an option. Both good sleepers.
This was over twenty years ago now though and advice has changed but worked for us.

No definitely not. My first was in moses basket until 11 weeks then in cot in his own room.

I have bed shared with all of mine. DD1 went to a cot at 6mo. DD2 at about 8mo and DS the same.

We never transitioned from bed sharing to a cot in our room. We all slept better whilst co-sleeping so carried on. DS is 14mo now and still comes into our bed most nights. DD1 is 11 and never does, DD2 is 4 and does rarely. They learn to sleep by themselves when they’re ready.

All of mine were in a cot bed from birth, I never saw the point of paying for multiple places to sleep. Always in our room until age 2+. Converted it from a cot to a toddler bed and slept in it for 5 years.

It is horses for courses here, and it does depend on the child. 4 children, 1st breastfed, so in the bed more than I probably would have liked, but once he moved to cot / bed was not an issue. 2nd, mix of bottled and breast, no bother in her own cot / bed from 4 months, 3rd bottle fed and in her own cot, own room at 4 months, complete nightmare to get to sleep. you had to take her to bed, then stay in the room until she finally slept and try and creep out, also up with the larks at 5AM, 4th, boy, premature and had all sorts of problems getting him to sleep initially, but once he finally went, he did go for reasonably long hours. I had 4 under 10, and I gave up ever expecting my bed for myself, as 3rd or 4th would come in at some point, on some nights, but not all. 3rd was hard work, thrashing, snoring, burrowing. I loved having 4th in, used to come in and lie in my arms and be still. I slept better with him than without him.

This. Sleeping by themselves is the safest thing for them

DC1 co slept until 18 months on and off. A bit of own cot. Loved his cotbed in his own room then.

dc2 next to me crib and co slept until 6 months. Then big cot in own room

dc3 is co sleeping

I bed shared with my daughter until she was 2 but there were always chunks of the night when she was in her cot.

I picked the time of night she was most likely to accept the cot. At around 3-6 months it was between 1 and 3 am. I'd give her a feed get her calm and fully asleep and pop her in the cot for a couple of hours. I did the knee bend test to see if she was in a deep enough sleep to mimic the lowering in the cot. If she wasn't asleep enough she would sense being lowered and wake up..

Around 9 months she started to be able to start the night in her cot and usually stayed until midnight -1.

Even just a few hours of sleep without worrying about baby in the bed gave me more restful sleep.

My daughters sleep has been majorly impacted by silent reflux and allergies so tackling them has always been important when working on improving her sleep.

@Tbrhwell obviously. Hence why I’m anxious to bed share. But it’s also 100x unsafer when your baby absolutely refuses their cot and screams every hour, I get no sleep and I’m falling asleep holding them etc. I’m eager to get him in his own cot hence the post but please don’t make an already anxious mother even more anxious!

The latest evidence shows that's not really the case. The NHS has changed their stance on this.

There's some research here from UNICEF.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

The take home research was a study of 100 babies who died of SIDS. 50 died in bedsharing situations, and 50 in cots. About 20% of parents bedshare so at first glance, it would appear that proportionally, bedsharing is much more dangerous. However, of the 50 who died in bedsharing situations, 90% were in an unsafe situation- on a couch, with a parent who had drunk alcohol or smoked, or otherwise not following the SS7.

This indicates that out of every 100 babies, only 5% are dying in a safe cosleeping scenario, as opposed to 50% in a cot.

Health organisations are still recommending an empty cot as the safest place to sleep, on the basis that so many people are doing bedsharing unsafely. However, there's now much more recognition of the benefits of bedsharing including extended breastfeeding and more sleep for both mother and child.

The Lullaby Trust has more guidance.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/safer-sleep-information/co-sleeping/

If the Next To Me tilts is it locked? They have a rocking function too that would allow it to tilt but it shouldn’t move at all if that function is disabled and the basket is locked in place.

I was in a mother and baby unit and they were encouraging of bed sharing at home. We weren't allowed on the ward but only because there were small single beds and had plastic, anti tear bedding that could cause overheating - I can confirm it made me hot at night!

@meagain3 safe deliberate bed sharing is absolutely safer than accidental bed sharing. I bed shared from 3 weeks when at risk of accidentally falling asleep holding her until 2. My drive for getting her to sleep in a cot was a personal need to have some time each day not touching another human as I get quite touched out.