Introducing toddler to newborn

[GreatFatball]

I’m 38 weeks pregnant and have a 27 month old DD.

any tips/do’s/do not’s for introducing them?

my gut instinct is not to bring DD to visit in the hospital and to wait till we get home (providing I’m not kept in for a prolonged amount of time) but other than that I’m not sure!

I've read both your posts, honestly, just don't overthink it. The relationship is not made/broken in that interaction. It's more about not dividing the family too much, where dad is always with the toddler and you're always with the baby. Let the family come together.

As above, introduce them like you would any other visitor, but with the rule that if they are near the baby they put hard toys (toy cars etc) down first. Excited toddlers with no impulse control, newborns and projectiles aren't a great combo 😂

I got my DW, same sex relationship, to bring our toddler to the hospital. One of the main tips I'd read was make sure you're not holding the baby when the toddler walks in the room, so either have baby in the cot or in someone else's arms and make a fuss of your toddler.
Agree with pp about not dividing the family too. Sometimes you have to divide and conquer but make sure to swap regularly so toddler gets time with both of you, so one feeds and settles baby while the other plays in the garden with toddler etc. And do alternate bed time routines if possible. We made sure to do stuff together as well, so I bath both DC in the big bath together and get the toddler to help, the toddler helps with nappy changes, we go for walks together, and have cuddles etc. It's about finding a balance.

Someone told me to make sure you’re not holding the baby when the toddler meets the baby for the first time.

We had a gift for the toddler from the baby that was something that he REALLY wanted and we’d made a point of looking for with him, but not finding in the weeks before. He just loved that ‘she’ had managed to find it for him! It was only something little, but it meant a lot.

We just spent a long time saying things like ‘look how much she loves you’ when the toddler would give her a kiss or a cuddle.

Making sure to make time for just you and the toddler. It’s hard, but if the baby is crying, so long as they’re safe, the world won’t end if you stay with your toddler for a few minutes (I’m not saying leave the baby for ages crying and there’s times you do need to go, but make sure the toddler realises that they’re important too and not just the baby).

Our two are older teenagers now and they are still really close.

We made sure the baby was in the pram when DS met her, and he loved peering into it to see her. We’d also got him a present he loved from her.

Echo most of the advice above. One thing the nursery staff did that I thought was good was when one of them met DD2 for the first time, they focused on DD1 showing them 'her baby' - it worked really well to make her part of the fuss and attention around a new baby, so perhaps ask some family or close friends to do that. It only takes a minute.

Feign some ignorance - don't be the expert of the baby for the toddler. Have her feel.part of your team on this adventure together.

When you prioritise your toddler e.g. baby is whingeing but you're attending to your toddler, verbalise this, i.e. "sorry baby, I'm helping X right now etc".

(I've written this like a list of dos and donts, but I also agree with the comments upstream about just living your life together rather than rigidly following guidelines!)

I didn’t bring my 2 year old to the hospital. I felt it was unnecessarily unsettling for her age and she would see me not feeling my best, in a hospital bed and then she would have to leave me there.
I had a section but was still only in for 24 hours so it wasn’t an issue.
We just introduced them at home, she looked at the baby in the car seat, she even wanted to hold and sing to the baby.