So my lovely 7 year old has historically struggled at school behaviour wise (ADHD - in the process of getting diagnosed). She's had problem after problem until this year, when all the interventions the school's undertaken, combined with our support and enforcement at home, has more or less sorted out the aggression part of the problem (the ADHD means the attention, focus etc is an ongoing issue).
She's part of a lively group at school that are 'that' group of children on the playground. At times just loud and silly, but also aggressive at times. Although almost never to the point of needing to be disciplined for anymore, just general rough housing with friends.
There is another mum who clearly thinks this group of very lively kids are out of control and dislikes them (I'd feel the same way if my child wasn't one of them!). Last year there was an incident where my daughter was aggressive towards her daughter. She was disciplined at school and at home by us.
It's happened again at school this week. Part of the problem is that this other girl is physically vulnerable. So the aggression is very unwarranted. School had dealt with it and didn't actually even mention it to me (which I wasn't happy with - I like to give consequences at home for issues that come up at school, so we're all on the same page).
The problem is, this other mum confronts me in the playground with the problem AND wants to talk to my daughter about it. She's quite aggressive and clearly sees her daughter as purely a victim. While obviously, the aggression is totally unacceptable, the girl verbally antagonises my daughter until she physically retaliates.
Both times she's done this, I've insisted that we discuss it with the teacher there. Because to my mind, if this is going on at school, the school need to be involved in the discussion about it. On this occasion, the story the mum/child gave was significantly different to what the teacher described as happening. The teacher described the other girl as antagonising my daughter and that the aggression (while of course unacceptable) was a response to being antagonised.
Please don't think I'm excusing aggression. I am absolutely not. And there is a home consequence in place. I've also told the teacher that we need to have a zero tolerance on bullying, but she insists that there is no bullying, despite what angry mum says.
What is your take on this? I'm of a mind to contact the mum and to say that she needs to complain to the school in future (by all means make a complaint about my daughter) rather than confronting me and my daughter in the playground.