Siblings play together

[sunshinedaises]

I have a ds4 and ds2 and they play/fight together all the time but don’t actually play with any toys. They use pillows and their duvets a lot and play in their soft play but other than that nothing gets touched. I don’t know if it’s because my youngest doesn’t have the attention span like my oldest does and normally if there’s a toy involved they fight over it so I don’t tend to purposely get them out. Anyone else’s kids like this?

Yes 🥴 does oldest play video games? Are they boys? We found 4 and 6 a little better with them starting to play video games together 5 and 7 definitely they were playing Minecraft together

......normally if there’s a toy involved they fight over it so I don’t tend to purposely get them out. Anyone else’s kids like this?

Wait.
Have I understood this right.
You don't have any toys out for your dc to choose from, and play with ?

I have the same age gap, and it works best if you get out the sorts of toys that are easily shared. So - Magnatiles or Duplo where they can both have a bit, or set up (say) a teddy hospital where they both have a teddy and a bit of a doctors kit.

What’s less good is things like a dolls house, where the big one will get frustrated when the little one wrecks the story they’re acting out

Also the same age gap (but DDs), and I'd second @PlanetOtter – building stuff, colouring stuff, and other things easily shared and played 'alongside', rather than needing to be fully immersed in cooperative play all the time. We have two of things like baby dolls (not identical, but similar) so that they can play with those together, but each have their own.

That said, mine do play a fair bit with random things in their imaginary play! My laundry baskets keep getting co-opted as 'suitcases', and cushions, blankets, and empty boxes are of course limitless in their possibilities.

@CarpetKneesno sorry they have access to an abundance of toys whenever they want they just chose not to. So I try and get things out to join in and encourage play with them

@skkyelark@PlanetOtterthey both love playing with magnatiles but together is a nightmare cause youngest always wants to destroy what my eldest had built, even if he’s over the other side of the room. Same with colouring, he was just take pencils that my eldest has

@skkyelark@PlanetOtterthey both love playing with magnatiles but together is a nightmare cause youngest always wants to destroy what my eldest had built, even if he’s over the other side of the room. Same with colouring, he was just take pencils that my eldest has

@Kaleidoscopic101they are both boys but too young for video games at the moment. Hopefully they will play them together when they are a bit older

At that age my two boys were heavily the wooden train track (more than one train needed to avoid fights), you kitchen and cups and plates, Duplo and of course balls and garden toys.
They loves bubbles, chalk on the patio and also painting the patio with water
2 is still very little and more still at the side by side playing stage
At 9 and 11 they're more into Lego. I limit gaming as it can take them a bit of time to get back into thinking how to play after all the zapping

At that age, my dc with an 18 month gap definitely played together more nicely with stuff like pillows, blankets, a big empty cardboard box or laundry basket.

Playing together with Duplo and the toy kitchen or brio train set happened when they were a bit older, then video games when a bit older than that.

Feel your pain though, playing turned quickly to tears quite frequently in those days, but it did get easier.

This sounds normal to me - I have a 4yo and an 18 month old and they're only just now starting to play together sometimes but they are not at the same developmental stage when it comes to toys, so that's not something they can easily do together. Elder one is not mature enough yet to deliberately play at the younger one's level, younger one doesn't have the attention span and interest to play with the things the elder one likes. We have things like scissors, colouring pencils, jigsaws up on a higher table that the little one can't reach, and the elder one knows that if he wants to play with things by himself, he has to put them in his room or on the dining table. I personally wouldn't bother deliberately getting toys out to try and engage them both with me at the same time, the younger one will get there in a year or so.

Meanwhile all the cushions in the house have migrated to the play tent, and every single sodding blanket is a 'woo cloth', which is when you put a cloth on your head and pretend to be a ghost.

Is youngest just turned 2, 2.5, or nearer 3? Even at just turned 2, you should be getting near the end of the absolutely constant snatching/knocking down (to be replaced by intermittent and more targeted snatching/knocking down...).

What response does he get (both from DS1 and the adults) when he knocks stuff down or takes DS1's pencils?

We had the same tbh and it's still a bit like that with ours now 6 and 8 the little one has ADHD traits. I can only say it is kind of a case of trying to spend 1 on 1 time with each of them particularly the older one if you can but I know that's not easy, it can be a case of seizing the opportunities when you can but don't be too hard on yourself about it. Oldest will be the one who will have more influence when it comes to modelling good behaviour as much as I don't like to put too much on the older child. It's tough...really tough.