Baby/toddler classes - when should a parent step in?

[hargru]

An 'out of interest' question. I've been attending a baby/toddler class for a few months now. Teacher-led songs, signing, themed toys sort of thing. Age of children is roughly 1-2 years old. One child who attends the class is clearly very outgoing and is up on their feet exploring/playing/dancing the entire time.

This child's behaviour is often quite full-on. They love toys so will forcibly take toys from the hands of other children every week. They've accidentally hurt other children by being a bit 'wild' with toys and on a couple of occasions have pushed/shoved if other children are where they want to be.

None of this is malicious - they're just a toddler being a toddler - but the parent rarely steps in to guide or redirect. Parent will watch as child forcibly takes toys from other children or pushes past them and not do anything. My feeling is that as long as the child is 'just having fun' then anything goes, although I did see them say 'gentle!' once when their child hit.

I know a few other parents in the class are getting frustrated and want to say something. You always have to be on alert and ready to intervene if this child comes near yours, so I do understand. However, I hate the idea of a parent feeling ganged up on and if this child is always going at 100% it must be exhausting keeping on top of them. What would you do?

Personally my own approach in this sort of situation is to keep my own DD away, either by lifting her away if she is the one on the receiving end, and then making sure she plays on the opposite side of the room from that child in future. It doesn't help deal with that child's behaviour but I'm not one to parent another person's child and I don't think it's my job to.

I also found that I tended to encounter fewer parents of that type in the nicer/pricier toddler classes (Monkey Music, Hartbeeps etc), the groups were smaller so that sort of behaviour stood out, and they always have enough identical toys/props for each child to have their own. So it was only rarely an issue for us.

Thanks for the response @herenine. It's tricky because it's a small-ish group in a small-ish space so I feel the behaviour does stick out (albeit amidst the general toddler chaos!). Every child gets the same toy too, but as is often the case this particular child wants the one you've got in addition to their's.

I agree about not parenting other people's children though – I think it's why the idea of saying something doesn't sit right with me.

Around here, it would be very common for another parent to physically block the child from taking the toy and say something like 'Ava's playing with that right now', possibly offering the snatching child another car or whatever if there's one there. Intervening, but not directly correcting the snatching child.

Many people here would also intervene with a 'gentle' or 'don't push' for pushing and shoving, but that's much, much easier to do when it is the local culture.

Is there a leader/organiser of the group that could be approached? I attended a baby sensory group and something similar was happening. The group is for 6-18 months so very varied in terms of abilities. One toddler was just let loose every week, grabbing, hitting, pushing, stomping on the babies while wearing shoes. One little 6 month old had his head walloped so hard with a wooden toy by the older child that the baby's mum never came back, despite having paid for the term. Pretty much everyone said they wouldn't be back for the next term because of this one mum not parenting her child so a few mums said it to the organiser. She spoke to the mum in question and seemingly just said it seemed like her toddler had lost interest in the group and didn't feel another term would be beneficial and recommended other groups for older babies.
Now this was a pricey baby sensory as opposed to a playgroup so I'm not sure how it works and if there's an organiser as such that would get involved, but just wanted to share in case it could help.

The parent sounds useless tbh, I'd approach the organiser of the group and let them know you are all getting frustrated. If someone was doing this to my child continuously I'd certainly be saying something. You'll actually be doing the parent a favour as they sound completely oblivious

I think this is my preferred approach. It's a teacher-led class rather than free play so the leader guides the entire session. She'll deliver various classes too so is probably best placed to decide whether it's something that actually warrants intervention.

I strongly feel like the child isn't doing anything wrong, it's not unusual for other children to occasionally try and take toys or get a bit boisterous. But whereas other parents will ask their children to share/swap toys around/move them away, this parent just... doesn't.

@hargru I agree I think it's the best approach, you never know how people will react but at least if it's the leader it's more official, as such. Sounds so similar to my experience. Totally understand it's just toddlers being toddlers. But when smaller babies were being continuously hurt and not enjoying it, it had gone a bit far. The mum definitely sounds at fault and should be a bit more switched on to her LO.

There's usually one like that at each class. I found the best classes were where the class leaders aren't afraid to call out the behaviour or return the child to the parent. The parent sometimes stopped being so innatentive and controlled their kid after.