Parenting a toddler and baby without TV

[CalmCalmCalm]

How do you do it? Before I fell pregnant with DD2, DD1 watched very little TV - plenty of TV-free days, and when she did watch it was maybe 30mins in two or three doses. Then I got pregnant, horrible all-day morning sickness and started to use the TV to help me get through the day with a very active 2 yr old.

Now DD2 is 3mths and DD1 is 2.8 and I feel like I'm just about my normal self but I feel like I've lost control of the TV situation.

I really want to dramatically reduce the amount of TV time my DD1 has, and to get back to having TV-free days. But, I really feel like I've lost my way. Does anyone have any tips as to how to schedule the day for a 2/3 yr old without TV? I know there will be pain involved, and I know it's my own fault, but I would be so grateful for any advice.

will be watching this thread with interest as need to drastically reduce amount of time TV is on in our house (although getting DH to switch it off maybe harder than getting the kids to do so....)

As odd as it sounds I use sky+ (or a video).
I record certain programmes she can watch and then I can say 'you can watch this while mummy makes a meal/changes DD2/packs lunch/bags' whatever

She only watches it when I need her out of the way or distracted and then I turn it off, so she gets quite a lot of telly but in small doses as she knows she can choose one programme to watch and then that is it.

Since the weather has been nicer though she plays outside a lot more in teh garden and doesn't watch as much.

Don't beat yourself up over it, toddlers and babies together are hard work
(DD1 is 2.3, DD2 is 7 months!)

Oooooh I think that you should decide what you think is reasonable in terms of time per day / programmes you are ok for her to watch and then do that .

Could you tape a couple of shows that she likes or have a couple of DVDs and then when it's over, it's over and the TV goes off? rather than running CBeebies or milkshake which goes on for ages....? At least recordings and DVDs just stop when they've finished and you may find it easier to implement. Also - try not to put the TV on at the beginning of a 'being at home' session but at the end, or linked to activities like while you're cooking dinner?

I think the weather will work in your favour for this. Ds watches too much TV (dh is a SAHD but chronically ill so needs to have quiet time, ds is 2.11). However, what ds loves even more is:

• to be outside, either in the garden, watering or kicking a football
• to be out and about, on the train or the bus, seeing things
• visiting the farm or the park
• going to the soft play area and charging about (admittedly at the moment I have to charge about with him, although Grannie and other carers are exempt from this)

At home he likes jigsaws, painting, time on the computer, doing craft stuff like sticking, bouncing on his trampoline. He will sometimes ask to watch telly but I reckon if I said nothing was on right now he would believe me (even though he knows we record stuff so we can watch it more than once, no way does he figure out that that means he can have telly on toddler demand!)

So I reckon if you say something about there not being so much telly on because it's summer and we can get outside, you should be okay. Obviously I don't have a 3 month old so can't really imagine how to even leave the house in such circs, but at that age they're still portable, aren't they? I was visiting some friends who have a 5 month old and we were outdoors playing football (my friends v impressed at my ability to play footie whilst carrying a baby, how much they have to learn) she thought it was brilliant, so I'm sure your dd2 would enjoy trips out too.

Go out. i have ds1 (3 yesterday) and ds2 (8mo) and since soon after the birth we have been out most days for generally between 2 and 4 hours, often wandering round the botanic garden, or other walks, shopping, zoo (local to us). ds1 goes to kindergarten mornings now, but we still do it.

Loooong reading sessions on the sofa also a hit.

We have neither TV nor garden (if you have the latter, now is the perfect time to 'move the day out' there in appropriate weather and hence break the TV habit without tears).

(hello trib )

audio story tapes? ds really enjoyed simple ones at this age

Don't feel guilty about it - it is only for a short period of time.

I am weaning mine off Cbeebies at the moment and playing with them outside instead, but it has been a godsend over the past few months (I wouldn't have been able to get showered/dressed most days without it)

I just don't turn our tv on at all anymore btw - DS1 doesn't seem bothered at all

Oh and it helps that he likes jigsaws...lots of jigsaws

oh yes, ds1 is enthralled by his Julia Donaldson story CDs.

Would also say just get them out. I find that if ds1 has got something nice to look forward to he is much happier about passing on the TV. We also have times of the day when he knows he can have it if he asks (after getting dressed, after getting in from school and after bathtime) for half an hour a pop. This also helps because it's not as if I'm saying he can't have any more at all that day and I can remind him that he can choose to have some later.

Thanks everyone for the speedy replies! I think getting out might be the key. I have tried the "watch this, then TV off" approach but it normally precipitates a tantrum, so if I'm feeling fragile I don't even attempt it (I stand firm in the face of tantrums, you understand).

I do find getting out quite exhausting with the two of them (more DD1, who is an absconder) but I think I need to do some planning and organise activities, even if it's just in my own mind so I have sort of focus.

I think it's true what chirpygirl says, don't beat yourself up about it.I have managed to get my 2 boys,aged 2yrs & 4yrs,to give up tv in a big way I think.Now I'm TTC again I wonder if I'm gonna take a step backwards though,I mean when pregnant or with a new baby & less time to entertain.
Sometimes mine would be up at 6am & by 8am had watched the 2hr quota for the day.Then I knew DS1 would ask for it again after school. My 2yr old would also walk over to tv & say Beebies from an early age!

The way I have cracked it is....we had a problem with our sky card & the only way it could be fixed was for us to send card back & wait for a new one to arrive in the post,which was supposed to take 5 days!How are we going to cope with no television? I was actually quite worried!But the tv didn't work without it.It was actually really nice because it made us sit down & entertain the kids instead.
Early mornings I would read books or build my youngest a train track.After school my older one either sits at the table & chats to me,plays outside or is really happy to have his own space in his room.
My 4 yr old did ask for the tv but accepted it when I said it didn't work.Now he knows it does but I've broken the habit & he hardly asks.If he does I ask him to choose a video to watch & so far he's been fine with that.I don't mind him watching tv but now he's also fine when I say it has to be turned off after 30 mins(he never used to want to turn it off at tea time)

Another reason for me wanting to reduce the tv was because DS1 had learnt to use the controller & I don't want him watching certain programmes that I feel are too violent or encourage extreme behaviour when boys often like to play rough without encouragement anyway.

If you're still reading this,I'm sorry to have gone on & on but it's something I'm really pleased to have broken thru with with my boys

Oh my god, you are me!
I have DS1 who is 2.8 and 3 month old DS2.
DS1's tv watching built up and up since I got pg until recently when I have felt more capable of dealing with the 2 of them.
He watches so much TV that he can turn it on himself and even put his DVDs on and change them over by himself
I am cutting down his Tv watching gradually.
The key really IS to go out!
We are never in doors all day. We go out for half of each day. he still watches TV when we are at home, but only in between meals, bath time, games with me while baby is sleeping etc so its a lot less than it was.
We go to toddler groups twice a week, jo jingles once a week and soft play once a week. We also have a whole day out at a farm park or something like that once a week with a pic nic lunch.
It helps to keep me sane as well as to give DS some fresh air and to cut back on the TV watching.

BTW Ds is a runner off as well, so he either goes in the pram or on the reins (under protest usually) unless we are in soft play/groups where he is enclosed!

Good luck!

bero - hello and apologies, I have owed you an email since practically email was invented!! Things are insane right now. (Yet I find time to MN you see )

I think the only other thing I would add, as a bad mummy who accepts too much telly watching, is that ds learn an enormous amount from the TV, it's not like he's watching soaps and the shopping channel. I'm not saying that makes it alright in the sense that 8 straight hours of TV is all a child needs to learn how to recycle, make lunch, mend buildings, info about wildlife (which is actually what you would get from 8 hours of CBeebies!) but telly doesn't necessarily equal badness (yes I'm sure many will quote many studies showing it is the font of all evil but even so).

Leaky, I've thought about using the "broken TV" strategy but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough yet! It sounds like it does really work so I think I'll have to give it a go.

2point2, yes, I think I am you! One question though - how do you have the energy to go out every day? And how do you find time for chores? (And I'm not talking fancy, immaculate housekeeping, just the basics). Actually that was two questions, sorry!

Thanks again everyone.