Brother hasn't come to meet my new baby?

[Dandelions25]

My brother hasn't made the effort to meet my first baby. She is now 3 months old.

We live in Spain, and he lives in uk.
He has already been away for the weekend and has just booked a holiday away to Italy and talking of another trio somewhere but still no plans to visit us and meet his niece?

Feeling abit upset and disappointed.

I wouldn't expect anyone to come and visit me if I lived in another country

YABU

Are you close? Would you message him “hey, are you planning on coming to visit this year and meet your niece?”

Is he single and/or solvent? Does he have children of his own who he is prioritising? Do you live in a touristy bit of Spain which would be nice for a holiday?

He might just not be that interested in babies. I think after we've given birth and when the baby becomes the centre of our world that we tend to forget that nobody else, other than the baby's other parent and perhaps grandparents, is really that bothered. The baby isn't going anywhere and they can meet it any time.

How often do you normally see him? Is it possible that he’s waiting for you to travel to the UK or for a formal invitation if he normally stays with you ?

I suspect he isn’t really that interested in babies coupled with the fact you actually live abroad so it isn’t like he can just pop in for an hour. While you baby is rightly the centre of your universe for most others ( even relatives ) they aren’t and at 3 months seeing a picture is fine. It may be that your brother becomes more interested as your baby starts to become a little person in their own right at toddler + stage.

I think “meet the baby” is always a bit daft until at least 6 months. The baby is young and won’t remember meeting anyone, all it will do is sleep, eat and poop. They are uninteresting to most except the parents and grandparents. After 6 months they are a bit more interesting, but only then if you are generally interested in babies.

But when you’ve had a baby you’ve gone through a huge life experience. The real issue here is that your brother hasn’t visited you.
There may be all sorts of reasons. Are you close? Have you invited him? Are you due to visit the UK and he’s expecting to see you then?

If a family or friend of mine lived overseas and had recently given birth there is no way at all I would visit unless they expressly invited me. Otherwise, I am burdening them with hosting and/or entertaining me.

As I said in your other post - is it because his cold/moany girlfriend doesn't want to use holiday time seeing you?

I had my first two babies abroad. I would never have expected my db to spend his time and money coming to them. You have chosen to live abroad and one of the consequences is you don’t see family as much as you would like.

Have you invited him to come to your house and meet the baby?

Many congratulations on your new baby OP, I do think you are overthinking this , you live in different countries.

I would be sad, my sister visited me the day after I had ds1 which was a round trip of 5 hours with a one year old. I did similar for my second nephew.

You live in a other country!

I live in Spain I wouldn't expect my brother to come just to see my baby. You could visit him?
Of course he will have holidays but they are completely different to visiting a new baby

When we have a baby our world revolves around them. It shouldn’t have to apply to other people. Especially when they don’t even live in the same country. You are being very unreasonable.

FFS, he lives in another country! And why should he prioritise seeing a baby over his actual holidays?
I'm sure your baby is beautiful, OP, but once you've seen one tiny baby, you've seen them all. And the baby is too little to notice or care.

I wouldn’t expect my db to visit me. I moved abroad and had my dc there. I took baby to meet them. 3 months is nothing also so he’s not had that much of a chance! Have you actually invited him?

What did he say when you invited him to come and meet the baby?

I wouldn’t go on a flight and take annual leave to visit a new niece/nephew. And I wouldn’t expect anyone to do that for my DC

In the same position siblings didn’t come specifically to see my children, and I didn’t travel specifically to see theirs.
We saw them whenever either of us happened to next visit the country.
My mum did come specifically to meet her grandchildren though.