Baby no.4 yay or nah

[LoyalTiger]

I will get straight to the point I’m 37 I have 3 children aged 11-15 . I think I want another baby? I’m not sure, I don’t know if it’s empty nest or some internal clock ticking but it’s a thought in the back of my mind that I can’t seem to shake. Hubby works a well paid job I work p/t we don’t have the space but could look into moving. We love our children but have always looked forward to getting a level of independence back but also both openly admit we wish we had had 1 more (he specifically said he’d LOVE another girl)
thoughts ? Opinions?

I think with that age gap the 4th might get quite lonely, and having a baby in tow would stop you doing certain things as a family of older teens (faster theme park rides, adventure holidays, certain museum trips and cinema/theatre trips). I've seen it work better when there are 2 younger ones after a large gap, so the younger ones can keep each other company. I wouldn't be having another in the hope of having a girl - I know lots of families with all boys, I think certain couples just produce only boys (unless they have treatment specifically).

I don't think your age is an issue at all though. I had dc2 aged 38 and pregnancy and childbirth were very easy.

No I personally wouldn’t. What happens if you end up with another boy? Gender disappointment? It’s not fair on the baby & the gap is rather large. You’d struggle doing things with your teens with a baby in tow and no doubt they won’t want to do babyish things. Not to mention you don’t have the room, you’d need a bigger car etc

Personally, with your youngest entering secondary age - I wouldn’t. This would be my main concern.

Don't do it. You've been lucky and had 3 healthy children with no additional needs. Imagine the opposite happens this time - what would your family life look like?

I think it's too big a gap, unless you have two close together. Your older children will be doing their own thing and more of a team, your youngest will be like an only child but with teen siblings who won't be overly interested.

(I have an only child myself so not against them, but it's different in this context.)

I wouldn't with that age gap

You'd be mad to do this - your teens need you, and you'll not be as good a parent to them if you're suddenly back to sleepless night, breastfeeding and chasing a mad toddler. Also think of the cost - unless you're insanely wealthy, how will you pay 3 lots of university fees and rent at the same time as another child's nursery fees, wraparound care, clubs etc.?

Kindly, it's likely your hormones saying 'now or never!' before peri-menopause.

Get a dog instead - cheaper and far less hassle!

This is just a final last gasp of your hormones.

You don't have room. Moving would be expensive and cause hassle to you all.

It would not be fair to the children you have, it would be self indulgent.

As for 'DH would love another girl' - it's not supermarket shopping, you get what you get.

Thank you all so much! And I mean that genuinely 🤗 yes it is probably last gasp of hormones lol and also for context I do have girls and boys and one has additional needs so yeah I’m crazy for even thinking it haha damn hormones. Love mumsnet and the lovely community thank you all for contributing some common sense

I would have said yes.

but with that age gap, no.

I have 4 and I love it, but mine are all very close in age so they play well together, I personally wouldn’t with a big age gap, these 4th babies are a force to be reckoned with too, I don’t think I could go back to the baby stage after such a big gap and not having to get up in the night as much x

This, exactly. 4 is lovely - I have 4 but very close in age. So very different.