To have a third or not?

[thebiggestmugoftea]

I have a toddler and a 10 month old baby.

I am really on the fence about whether to have a 3rd?

I absolutely ADORE having small babies and doing the whole baby "thing" and I love the idea of going one more time.

But I also feel that it would be quite nice to move into the next chapter, especially for my 3 year old. To be able to now start doing family activities etc properly.

Would a 3rd baby hold her and us back from doing that?

Also, my relationship has been a bit rocky the last year and largely due to me being so involved with the kids that I've not been interested in him intimacy wise.

I've noticed in the last few months since we've had more time for each other, things have improved lots between us.

So... I guess I'm looking for perspectives / stories/ tips to help me make that choice.

My partner would probably be more on the team of not having another but if I wanted to, he would go along with it haha.

I have 3, much larger age difference, they are now 14, 11 and 4.

You should really be prepared to go right back to the beginning with your 3rd, but better to do it now rather than 7 years time like me 😆 3 is so much fun, now he is a little older we can all enjoy more things like farm days out and holidays but before now we’ve had to divide the kids between us and separate off!

Practically, having 3 isn’t much different to 2 in terms of admin, lunches and dinners are as easy to make for 3 as 2, hotel rooms and entry to places is now catered for for 5 people.

Id go for it

I had a 3rd and then a 4th because my 3rd did get pushed out a little bit 😂 my first two are super close
they are all the best of friends now though 😬
But I think a 3rd is a great idea, get it over with while your youngest is still small

i literally couldn’t imagine life without our 3rd! It terrifies me to think we might have decided against it and how much we would’ve missed. They always say you never regret the kids you have…!

I would if I was in your shoes. That would be a good gap and not a huge gap between eldest and youngest.

In saying that I wanted 3, have two and don’t regret our decision.

If your relationship has been rocky I would advise against another baby any time soon. Can't think why posters think this is a good idea.

To be able to now start doing family activities etc properly.

If you’re honest with yourself, why don’t you do that now?

Your relationship would be the reason I wouldn’t.

Pregnant with my third :) I'm looking forward to the baby chaos again!

Best thing we did - apart from first two - was a lot of work though. I don't think it stoped moving on with eldest either.

However my relationship was not rocky and DH was fully on board.

Adding babies to rocky relationships tends to mean adding more stress and strain and many break - some don't but many do. I'd work on the relationship first rather than adding more dependents.