So tired of bedtimes

[Magik8ball]

I guess this is just to rant!

I am so tired of bedtimes.
My 2year old and 1 year old keep bouncing off each other and it takes me ages to get them to sleep.

Occasionally it wouldn't be so bad, but it's been every day for nearly 3 years.

My 2 year old never slept good since the day he was born, hes gotten better NOW, but not with the 1 year old around.

I have to rock the 1 year old when he refuses to sleep, and my back and shoulders are already so bad. My PGP didn't leave after pregnancy. I often have trouble walking and yet every night I have to do this. He's not light either. He's in the 100th percentile for height and a pretty high percentile for weight too. I'm so mentally drained. I am at my utmost limit and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
It's just me here.

Thank you for reading haha.

Aw I don’t have a magical answer which will make bedtimes more bearable sorry - just sending lots of solidarity 😂 I’m a single parent and bedtimes with my pre school age twins is brutal! I’m generally so over life by the time they eventually go to bed I just get in bed myself! My eldest did grow out of it by age 5 I’d say if that’s any consolation!

No advice here but I feel your pain as I lie on the floor by my toddler’s bed with my arm wedged through the bars of his cot! If he can see me he starts laughing, if I take my hand away he cries…

Haha thank you darling. Me too! And I have to do it again tomorrow?! That's diabolical🤣

Age 5! Damn...I need my 1 year old to get better real quickly 🤣

Oh that sounds so tough🥲

As I'm rocking the 1 year old, the 2 year old.will refuse to lay down and he must sit right next to my feet, preventing me from walking, if not, he must suddenly shout his favourite song or his ABCs😂🥲 and then keeps waking his brother up.

I have time to type this because my 1 year old woke up again 10 minutes later😍😂

Try putting them to bed at different times? A 2 year old (for me) would be in bed for 6:30pm and my 1 year old would be more like 8:30-9pm x

This is of no help now, but it will get better, honestly. There will probably come a time when you'll struggle to get them out of bed! I do not miss the I need another story, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I need a wee, there's a noise, can I come downstairs?, I need another wee etc etc nights at all

Have you tried a wheat filled pack across legs (while your in room supervising)

I'd work on gradual withdrawal with both of them sitting between their beds gently rubbing baby to start with I've had to settle countless babies who are used to rocking GW does work if your consistent

I had two that needed to be cuddled/boobed off to sleep until they were 3+ so I do feel your frustration.

Are you doing bedtime alone? Is there no one to coparent?

I’m also wondering if you might find they fight sleep less if you can tweak the time and routine. What is your current routine and timing?

hiya :)

maybe put them in different bedroom? And put to bed whomever fall first then the other diabolical being 😂😂

i don’t know if this is possible (it takes a very deep sleeping small child!) but could you put one down to sleep in their bedroom and then get the other to fall asleep on your room for example, then move them across once they are completely out of it? I did this more time than I care to remember lol

Are you a single parent? If not divide and conquer.

I had a 2 year age gap so not quite so close together but when I did solo bedtime I would get the baby to sleep in her room (rock/boob) and let the toddler watch tv in my room (specifically blue planet or blue planet 2 only so we weren’t fighting over what it was every night and he’s watching something calming and quiet). Because it was a treat he would generally stay in bed and behave and the majority of time he’d have fallen asleep by the time I’d got the baby to sleep and I’d scoop him up and put him in his own bed.

Their bedtimes are at 6pm. My 2 year old doesn't nap, at 6 he's usually ready for bed. 1 year old naps once and then is also ready by 6.
Problem is when 1 fights it, the other stays awake. Or, when I'm rocking the 1 year old to sleep, the 2 year old refuses to sleep until he gets attention, i cant give him attention until his brother is asleep but he won't allow his brother to sleep because he won't be quiet😂.
It's hard to just leave one secure because he will end up crying because of how long it takes.

Ideally that's what I'd like to do, my 2 year old doesn't need to be rocked at all. He just likes me there until hes drowsy.
Yesterday did though, because I took his brother back out the room, I told my 2 year old to go to sleep and I left the room. He slept.

It's been a task with my 1 year old as say like last month he was being breastfed at night and fed to sleep everytime, that's not the case now though

Not even sure what that is haha

Currently, my 2 year old is asleep in the buggy. I just put my 1 year old to sleep by feeding him to sleep 🥲 Now I have ro transfer my 2 year old lol

Have you tried the sleep drops? Just drop on the pillows or under the pillow and they should drift off. My 7month old has nap times fine but bedtime is becoming difficult so I use a lavender spray at the bottom of his cot works wonders x

edited waiting for picture to load!! Hope this helps ❤️

My twins by some miracle have both gone to sleep by 8pm! This NEVER happens 😂

'If he can see me he starts laughing if I take my hand away he cries' SERIOUSLY?!!! You are being MAJORLY manipulated and outwitted by a tiny person on a daily basis?! 🙄
Try googling the Supernanny method for breaking this ridiculous and totally unnecessary nightly torture! It's time consuming and you need patience and resilience but IT WORKS and we did it ourselves before we had even heard of Supernanny!
I can't believe how many on here are simply putting up with this as Supernanny has been on the TV so often demonstrating her method on countless occasions...To be fair it's simply a 'battle of wills' but in 100% of the cases shown on her programme it worked:

https://www.snoozeshade.com/pages/jo-frost-method-controlled-timed-crying#:~:text=Here's%20how%20it%20works%3A%20After,two%20minutes%2C%20go%20back%20in.

There are also videos of her doing this with different families on Youtube.

That's the perfect age to sleep train. Do they share they same room? Change that

You are all being MAJORLY manipulated and outwitted by a tiny person on a daily basis?! 🙄
Try googling the Supernanny method for breaking this ridiculous and totally unnecessary nightly torture! Yes, it's time consuming and you need patience and resilience but IT WORKS and we did it ourselves before we had even heard of Supernanny with a 3 year old Grandson who, when he and his sister came to stay with us refused to go to sleep without one of us or his sister sitting next to him holding his hand till he fell asleep which was sooo unfair on her and not something we intended to put ourselves through!
He kept crying and shouting and getting out of bed and coming down stairs but my husband just put him back, not entering into dialogue, until her finally caved in and from that night onwards he stayed in bed alone here and at home!
I can't believe how many on here are simply putting up with this as Supernanny has been on the TV so often demonstrating her method on countless occasions...To be fair it's simply a 'battle of wills' but in 100% of the cases shown on her programme it worked:

https://www.snoozeshade.com/pages/jo-frost-method-controlled-timed-crying#:~:text=Here's%20how%20it%20works%3A%20After,two%20minutes%2C%20go%20back%20in.

There are also videos of her doing this with different families on Youtube.

I couldn't agree more with this! For the sake of a) your sanity and b) your kids future ability to settle themselves (a valuable life skill), do think about sleep training your kids.

Honestly, it's life changing. Mine went from horrendous sleepers to sleeping through the night in just 3 days.

I really feel for you. Where you're at now is torture. However your kids are plenty old enough to be sleeping trained. You just need to break the current routine. Trust me, it's so worth putting the work in now for literally a life time of easy bedtimes. If you don't do it, you may never get to the east bedtime stage!

Even though I used controlled crying with one of my children (decades ago) I no longer agree with it. It is harsh. Yes it can work but that doesn’t mean it’s OK to subject a child to you not coming when they need you. And to persevere with this until they give up. Nor do I agree that a two year old is manipulating you if they are trying to get their emotional needs met. I DO agree that it can be possible to substitute one form of comfort for another and over time become less hands on.
Can’t help feeling that life would be easier for you if you were still feeding your one year-old to sleep while you’re two year-old is enjoy enjoying your company as he becomes drowsy.

Start with the daytime nap.
You also say your 2 year old doesn't nap that's unusual not to need one and often means they are overtired at bed time so can't settle and turn off. Just like when we are exhausted.

@Cariadm
that’s great it worked for you but single parent twins plus another child working full time sometimes you are just so exhausted you just have to take the path of least resistance

you refer to “us” in your post so you had another adult there for emotional and moral and physical support to follow the method. You also refer to grandchildren so it wasn’t every night - just the odd one - I find my kids go off to bed perfectly when someone else like a grandparent is around. You may well also have been retired - one or both of you - so not having to get up for full time and full on careers to enable perseverance