Help, I'm going potty!

[Frexylady]

Hello ladies - going potty here and need to let off steam! I seem to have tried every method under the sun to potty train my DD (age 3 yrs, 4 mnths). Started last summer, putting her in pants at home, pull-ups when we're out. After a couple of weeks when I sense she's getting fed up I give up and try again a few weeks later. Every time there's been a break from playgroup (e.g. a whole week at half terms or Xmas, or longer @ Easter) have put her in just pants apart from bed time. Have also tried the 'no pants' method i.e. just a skirt or baggy pj's, but she doesn't seem bothered when she wets herself. She just says ' Mummy change me'.... Feeling SO frustrated!!!! But she holds in her poo till she has a nappy on (or till it escapes in the bath - luvverly). She gets really distressed and screams if I encourage her to poo on the potty. Am trying to be calm and laid-back in her presence, but tearing my hair out behind the scenes! She's the only one of her friends now who's not potty or toilet trained and I'm worried that she still won't be ready by the time she starts nursery in September... Has anyone got any advice, or like to share similar experiences?

Have you ruled out any possible medical problems? I would go and see your GP and explain your concerns, just to be sure that there is nothing stopping her suceeding.

It could just be that she is not yet ready, I know that all children are ready at different ages and that she is heading towards the upper age of potty training but I don;t think that she is exceptional.

Lots of children at DSs nursery over three are not potty trained. DS decided when to stop wearing nappies; I'd bough pants ages ago and one day he picked up a pair and said "no nappy" and we talked about the potty and how he needed to do wees and poos on the potty if he wore pants. He did have a few accidents (mainly poos - nice) but in less than two weeks he was 99% fine. I found the whole thing pretty straight forward and feel it was just that it happened when he was ready. Friends who have decided to "potty train" have tried all the methods you mention plus star charts, bribes etc etc, and had much less sucess.

So perhaps take the pressure off her and see if she will make the first move?

Thank you so much for your advice and support, really appreciate it. Am taking DD2 to be weighed at clinic tomorrow so will speak to Health Visitor there and ask her if she thinks DD1 needs to see a doctor. Tried sticker charts & bribes too, seems to have lost it's novelty! Will wait for her to make the next move now (I think I deserve a sticker chart myself! )

I wouldn't take the pressure off her, i would just explain clearly that she is too old for nappies, and go cold turkey other than at night, pants full time. Point out to her that you don't wear nappies, neither do her friends. Do not use pull ups.

Thanks again for your advice.

Have tried 'cold turkey' without pull ups(longest time 3 weeks), and feel like a broken record the number of times I've told her to try the potty, just like her friends.

She is lately always pooing after she's gone to bed at night, and wakes up crying to be changed.

To be honest I feel quite confused by the different advice I've had from friends and family, varying from full time pants, to 'wait till she's ready'. DD was quite late to start walking (19 months), could this explain why she's so late in potty training? Can I point out that she's normal/bright in other areas.

Many thanks.

Still feeling confused (and depressed to be honest) - HV says it's 'ridiculous' that DD is not yet potty trained. But careworkers at playgroup say it's normal, and wait till she's ready. HV has asked for a nurse to come and visit me in a couple of weeks' time, but HV thinks there's nothing physically wrong with DD. Any other suggestions...?

Hi, I am no fan of G Ford but I was having a read at her "potty traiing in one week" and there is an example similar to yours.
Have a read in your local library, the book might just help you.

Was advised about GF's methods by a friend (a few tips taken on board), but haven't actually read it - will look out for it - thanks v. much!