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Should we move somewhere bigger before having a baby?

31 replies

Potentialfuturemother · 11/05/2025 22:03

Hoping for some advice/opinions as my partner and I can’t agree on this. We currently live in a flat with a bedroom, a small ‘box’ study room and separate kitchen/sitting room. It is first floor and you have to immediately go up stairs to come in and there are very steep steps out the back to the garden. We are hoping to have a baby in the next couple of years and we have always planned to move in about that time to a house out of the city. I would far rather move first to give us more space for a baby and also be settled somewhere before giving birth etc. and I am happy to wait a little to be able to afford the move etc. however my partner doesn’t see the problem with staying in the flat and having a baby here (he says for up to a year). I wouldn’t mind this too much if he would give up his study room to turn into a small nursery/room for baby but he won’t consider this as he tends to work from home (goes to office twice a week but could in theory go more if necessary). I understand that we could of course have a baby in this flat and people have babies in tiny spaces all the time but it just seems like an unnecessary stress to me when we could wait. He is suggesting that we put things like changing table/other baby things in the kitchen/dining room which I personally think is crazy (it is a big room and there would be plenty of space but it just seems wrong to me!). Any thoughts or opinions much appreciated!

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BlaBlaBla87436780087 · 10/06/2025 04:57

I’m with you - presuming you’ll be the one on mat leave in this tiny house with lots of baby clutter. If you can afford it I would move first OR he goes into the office and you turn the room into a nursery

Olika · 10/06/2025 05:12

From the experience of living in a flat with stairs right when you open the front door to get to the flat… it’s really annoying with a baby and later with a toddler.

WheelsOffTheBus1989 · 10/06/2025 06:26

Move. No doubt. Your DH is in la la land not even wanting to give up his office.

I do have friends like your DH. They think babies are just potatoes that sit there in the corner and sleep 24/7. Lol.

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UpsideDownChairs · 10/06/2025 07:19

I raised my first baby in a flat, and my second in a house - the flat was easier as everything's on one level (basically a bungalow really) - BUT - we had a lift, so I didn't have to lug anything up any stairs - I think that would tip it for me.

Having said that, I'd prefer to move with a baby than when heavily pregnant (done both - constructing furniture when massive and knackered is no fun), and for the first 6 months they really don't need much more than a couple of baskets for their stuff as they're with you all the time, so I think I'd set a time-limit on moving and pause it when I got pregnant.

Twiglets1 · 10/06/2025 07:23

Easier to move before having a baby.

I viewed quite a few 1/2 bed flats in London when my daughter was buying there 3 years ago. The ones crammed with baby equipment never looked good.

Your flat will look more aspirational to buyers if you market it with plenty of space for a couple including a spare room suitable to work from home.

MarioLink · 10/06/2025 09:58

He either changes the study to a nursery and works in the dining room or you move first.

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