Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Does raising kids get easier ?

14 replies

Franticdad92 · 11/05/2025 07:17

Absolutely love being a parent, but by god it is way harder than I can ever imagine.

I work 60 + hours a week, and can’t work at home. My hobby raises both kids at home on her own, with little help.

One kid is 2.5 years old and the other 6 months old, both hardly sleep, 6 month old up every 2 hours and when he goes down the toddler is up.

We are in the trenches at the moment, weekdays are a right off between work and putting the kids to bed, weekends are for catching up on the chores we haven’t had time to do… then it starts again. From the moment we get up it is relentless until we put them down.. if they go down.

Does it get easier ? And if so at roughly what ages ? Just really need a bit of Sunday motivation 🙃

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bonkersplonkers · 11/05/2025 07:26

Hello. It will get easier ,but I'm afraid very slowly. Mine are 7 and 4 and a bit easier now but then other problems start like emotional stuff at school and the fights, dear god the fights. I have no idea how you manage to work so many hours. DH and I are 37 hours and barely cope.
Have you considered sleep training? Look at the ferber method (gentle). Sorry if it's not your thing. I think I'd have gone insane without it, DD didn't sleep until 2am and then for a couple of 45 minute slots. Yes it does get better !

JunkShopper · 11/05/2025 07:31

It gets easier when they're school age, and you get to enjoy all that lovely sense of joy and discovery without all the stress and sleeplessness of 24/7 care.

Then they hit puberty and it makes infancy look like a walk in the park. Sorry.

BendingSpoons · 11/05/2025 07:32

Yours are close in age and both very little. It varies on the kids but by 3/3.5 they are usually a bit more self-sufficient e.g. putting shoes & clothes on, getting things themselves, toilet trained, and possibly less tantrums.

A big issue for you is probably sleep. Mine slept better from 11/12m, but they all vary hugely!

Once mine got to 7 & 4, things really got much easier. They are 9 & 6 now and I can hear them quietly chatting downstairs whilst I am still in bed.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

SilverButton · 11/05/2025 07:32

It will get easier! The baby will start sleeping better - it's unpredictable when this will happen, but in 6 months' time they may still be waking in the night, but not every 2 hours. Sleep deprivation makes everything worse! In the daytime, things will be quite full on for a while longer IME, but should start getting much easier when the youngest is 3yo. Hang in there!

Jinglehop · 11/05/2025 07:40

No, sorry, it doesn’t get easier … it changes. Sleep is everything, and that will get better. When school starts you’ll be juggling school pick up drop off, events and holiday care. Then just as that eases puberty kicks in.

Parenting is hard and stays hard. There is fun in each stage. Personally I’ve found each stage more enjoyable than the last and I adore my dc but am also looking forward to having more time when they leave home!

verycloakanddaggers · 11/05/2025 07:43

You work 60 hour weeks. What do you do and can that be more balanced?

PhaseFour · 11/05/2025 07:54

It does get easier, but you can put processes and routines in place, and be proactive now, which will go a long way to ensure that it does indeed get easier, rather than leaving it all to chance, and hoping for the best.

I wish I had encouraged my DCs to help around the house more when they were younger, for example. When they are little, they love helping, it's a game to them, but it's often quicker, so therefore easier to just do it yourself. Doing chores together can count as quality time, as you teach them and chat, but I didn't realise this.

From a young age, you can teach them to place out their clothes in the morning, and pack their school bags the night before, to put their own clothes in the wash basket, and help tidy the bathroom after their bath, and make their own bed daily. Make it their job to fill their water bottles, get their PE kits ready, do their homework. Before you know it, these will be routine & you won't need to nag and remind them.

I work in a school, and the number of children who regularly say "My mum forgot to pack my water bottle / put my spellings in my bag / give me my swimming kit" - it's unreal!

School staff can spot a mile off the children whose parents dress them and do everything for them - these children present as very entitled and it comes as a shock to them that the word doesn't revolve around them.

One five year old girl sat for a whole playtime one day, waiting for us to put her wellies on. None of us would do it and she missed her playtime.

Think of these things as investing in your and their futures - you will reap the benefits ten fold eventually, for putting the work in now. I was too frazzled and time-poor at the time to realise this when mine were younger. It also sets your DCs up for a lifetime of being organised and being able to forward plan, plus being independent.

PhaseFour · 11/05/2025 07:57

OP, sorry - those points are obviously meant for when your DCs are older. But I wish someone had pointed all of that out to me when mine were similar ages. Knowledge is power and all that! Working 60 hours - I can't imagine how you're managing. I am sure that you are doing an amazing job.

Sandylittleknees · 11/05/2025 07:58

It does get easier, and then harder when they are teens. 4 or 5 to about 10 is the best bit imo- I miss it!!

Comedycook · 11/05/2025 07:59

A toddler and a baby is absolutely exhausting. Once one of them starts school, it tends to get easier. Primary years are generally pretty easy. Teen years are hell but at least you can have a lay in!

JeMapellePing · 11/05/2025 08:02

Being sleep deprived makes it all seem a LOT worse. Once you start getting regular sleep, it will still be difficult and challenging (in different ways as they grow up) but you will be more resilient and able to deal with it.

Working 60 hours a week is not compatible with being a good parent IMO and definitely not compatible with being a good partner.

crossstitchingnana · 11/05/2025 08:06

The sleep issue does get better, but as PP said it doesn’t really get easier, it just changes. I found as we moved to the next phase the thing that was hardest went, only to be replaced with a fresh horror. Think toilet training being completed then you battle to get them out the door on time for school. And , 9-3 goes very quickly and before you know it you’re back at the gates.

I found 15-18 the hardest in lots of ways. Anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm, drugs, school refusal, police etc. Hell. Buuut, they’re now well into their 20s, really lovely, confident and happy people with healthy relationships and friendships. So, it all turned out well in the end. Actually, when they launch is the easiest bit! 😆

mindutopia · 11/05/2025 12:25

So, yes, it does get easier in terms of the constant parenting. It gets trickier though in terms of managing emotions and friendships and protecting them from the wider world as they get older.

That said, a huge difference for us from when we had babies and toddlers and now (one in secondary school and one in primary) is lifestyle. We were both working FT, me with a long commute, when ours were young. We are now financially secure and senior enough that neither of us needs to work FT. We can be a lot more present for our kids and there is a lot less time pressure. As someone working 60 hour weeks, that’s something to consider for the future.

slamdunk66 · 11/05/2025 13:16

The sleep issue gets better but the worry and stresses change and increase, especially with teenagers. Their worries and problems become yours, and can’t be resolved by a biscuit, a game or a cuddle.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page