Experience going back to work full time after baby

[user13842]

I had my first baby last year and will be going back to work full time in a couple of months. I’m dreading it. DD will be 13 months and will be in nursery 3 days a week and then 2 days with grandparents.

Every single mum friend I have went back or is going back to work 3/4 days a week but it’s just not possible in my job. I just had a promotion on a full time basis and need the money that comes with that as we’ve moved and my partner is earning less.

I am dreading it and terrified it’s going to impact our bond. She’s still such a baby. Please please please can anyone else who went back to work full time at around 1 year old reassure me that it’ll all be okay 🙃 it makes me feel a bit sick.

I went back at 5 months (full time but luckily a flexible role and baby was in the house with a nanny). I was happy to get back to work and feel like an adult again. Me and my child (now 5) are and always have been extremely bonded and she is so loving, affectionate and all round a joy. (Additionally, I felt that when she went to nursery at 17 months, it was an extremely positive thing for her in terms of her social, emotional and cultural development.)
Honestly I think the main thing for bonding is that even if the overall quantity of time you spend together is less, the quality is high. Really get on her level, play with her, talk to her, develop your in jokes and little traditions and all of that fun. Honestly sometimes I think that might be easier when you have less time than when you spend a lot of time with the child. I read posts on here of people who are full time with their children and are struggling to fill the day and feel burned out. I never felt that - for me the time I have with my girl is a blessing. (Of course it helps that she's such an easy going and lovely kid - I'm very lucky!)

I went back full time at seven months while my partner did shared leave. It makes you much more focused on ONLY doing your hours at work, nothing unnecessary. Your baby will get different things out of nursery compared to home (messy play, sensory toys), and bond with grandparents too.

Plus - and I don't say this to be negative - you need to expect a certain amount of unplanned days at home due to nursery illnesses (frankly more than I thought possible), some of which will take YOU out. You will be functionally less than full time - I've already had two work days off since Easter and so has my partner due to our and baby's sickness.

I went back full time at 3 months. She'll be absolutely fine and it won't impact your bond at all, I promise!

I went back full time when DS was 6 months. It was absolutely fine BUT being full time once they start school is harder unless there is great wrap around care or grandparents available. That's when I had no option but to go part time.

My son went to nursery from 10 months. He’s 5 now and I still work full time.
Like pp said the time we get together is higher quality and because I work full time I have the funds for us to do special things together at the weekends.

We have our routine set and my career and pension haven’t suffered compared to if I went part time.