8 month old sleep - HELP

[Murmum]

I’m going back to work soon and I just know I can’t function being up for multiple times a night.
Don't get me wrong my child doesn’t quite wake every 45mins or every hour, although it has been the case. The problem, they’re so used to being rocked to sleep.
I bit the bullet and hired a sleep consultant but so far their gentle methods just aren’t working.
My child has real separation anxiety, so patting and rubbing their back on the cot is not an option, it makes it worse.
We did try Ferber and pick up put down back a few months ago but abandoned ship because of sickness and more sickness etc etc etc.
Maybe now their older it would work better?
I don’t know, I need som advice, it’s really affecting my mental health. Baby is tough enough during the day. Very needy, doesn’t like to be put down, and they’re now getting very heavy to lug around.

8-10 months is often the worst sleep of the first year due to the rate of development and growth they’re going through, sadly probably the worst time to try any sleep training even very gentle. You have my absolute sympathies on the lack of sleep and wanting to be held though, I’ve had two like this.

Safely bedsharing was the best option for us. I absolutely couldn’t cope with being up and down all night, transferring into cots, walking around. Just keep them in the bed with you, when they wake you can cuddle and comfort without having to wake up too much yourself. Could that be an option? Work on cuddling instead of rocking whilst just keeping him close?

Right now, if baby would sleep in my bed I’d happily take that, but they don’t.

Will your baby go down for naps without rocking to sleep?

I don't have much advice as I'm having problems with my ten month old but I'm following with interest. It is such a tricky age.
I have set up a small double bed in her room but she sleeps in her own cot which has helped me get a bit more sleep as I have the option to bed-share if we have a really bad night.
How long did you try Ferber for? I've heard it can take four or five nights (haven't tried but I'm considering it).

We used Ferber at 5 months and it worked well. He slept brilliantly until 8 months! He's now 9 months and still wakes once or twice, unless he's teething, which then means a lot more wakes. There is so much going on at this age, it's crazy. You do then repeat sleep training every time after illness/travel.

We tried gentle methods and they didn't work. They confused him and made him really, really sad. Like "why are you here and not picking me up???" Me leaving the room is what did it. He cried badly for a few minutes but then cood and babbled and then went to sleep!

He's a bit like me, I think, I get very very stimulated. I need complete darkness and silence to wind down. I don't even like my DH cuddling me (I like it, but not if I'm trying to sleep!!).

With Ferber, you do need to be consistent and as soon as teething or sickness is done, you get right back on it so baby doesn't forget all of it.

I don’t know what your sleep consultant methods were but take a look at Hannah Love - she has a book, a course and an online community. She’s fantastic and her methods are very simple and logical. The gist is to start really small and move gradually from your ‘safe space’. So if right now you rock standing up, you’d stick with standing up but not rocking for a few days, then sit down and hold for a few days, then lie on a bed together, then into the cot etc. so it’s super gentle.

But the main thing is absolute confidence and consistency. If you don’t believe it’s going to work for your child it’s much harder to be consistent.

I feel your pain though, my first was really easy to sleep train but my second who is 6 months is proving a lot trickier. I thought we’d turned a corner in the last week and now she’s got ill and the last two nights have been worse than ever. I’m hopeful things will get back on track when she’s better.

Hi @Murmum, I’m just wondering how you are getting on? I was following this post closely whilst I was also using a sleep consultant recently. So pleased it worked for us and also hoping you had some luck?

Ahhh lovely to hear yours has worked well.
I'm thankful to say as has ours, we did use a sleep consultant and it worked, bubs now sleeps 12hours at night (have had a few off nights due to sickness, and split nights, but a little tweak of his nap schedules and it worked a charm)
I feel like all is right with the world. I’m back to work and actually feel like a normal human being. I think it makes me a more patient mother too when I see my child. Any sleep training we did ourselves just wasn’t working, so glad I actually bit the bullet and used a sleep consultant. I know it’s not for everyone, but it saved our sanity