9/10 Month old waking 11.30pm 3.30am nightly

[Nellym25]

My baby is a few days off being 10 months and we are really struggling with her sleep. I’ve really tried to get her onto a schedule but whatever I try doesn’t seem to work so there’s never been any consistency.

She has recently started waking every night at 11.30pm and 3.30am - the early morning is the worst as it can take up to a couple of hours to resettle her. I’ll often feed her at 11.30pm and that sends her straight off.

Currently aim for a wake of 7am, 30 min nap from 9.30 then 2 hours from 12.30. However, rarely will she sleep the full 2 hours which makes for a very long afternoon. And sometimes she’s up way before 7am.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I have just gone back to work and I’m shattered! Thank you xoxo

My daughter has just turned 11minths and has similar naps. Up between half 6 and 7 and has nap after her breakfast for about an hour then just over an hour on the afternoon. She has an 8oz bottle when she wakes and a 9oz bottle about quarter to 7 at night before bed and no wake ups except maybe for her dummy or she might babble abit then go back to sleep. Is your little one getting enough food through the day. Unfortunately all babies are different and some are just good/bad sleepers no matter what we do. Although she sleeps really well at night the days can be tiring with just two short naps

Sounds normal and similar to both my babies. Sorry it’s tough

@ACR7thank you, I did wonder if instead of cutting her nap short in the morn if I should let her sleep longer . She never seems ready to get up. Annoyingly she started refusing the dummy which is when her sleep started to become so inconsistent

You're so right, my first was such a good sleeper, she led me into a false sense of security the second time around 🤣

@Whiteflowerscreedreassuring to hear this sounds normal thank you 😊

@Nellym25 i never wake her from naps. I just enjoy her having them too much 😂

Sounds about right. It’ll pass.

At this age I never capped any naps and when he woke in the night I fed him back to sleep. Pretty sure twice a night was what mine did at that point

What time is bedtime? Being awake for a couple of hours at 3am, called a split night, often suggests you're aiming for too much sleep in a 24 hour period (sorry!). Average for 10 months is supposedly 13.5 hours, so if you want 2.5 hours of daytime sleep, that would mean 11 hours overnight, bedtime 8pm for 7am wake. Of course some babies need a bit more or less than this (mine were very firmly on the 'less' side!).

You're also aiming for quite short wake windows – 2.5 hours, which is going to be hard to make work with 2 naps. Most babies this age would have 3-4 hour wake windows, so say:

7am – wake
10-10.30am - first nap (3 hour wake window)
2-4pm - second nap (3.5 hour wake window)
8pm - bed (4 hour wake window)

Personally, if she seldom sleeps the full two hours for the second nap, I would shorten that one to say 1.5 hours and bring bedtime forward to 7.30pm.

If she's consistently struggling to stay awake past 2.5 hours, it may be that she still needs 3 shorter naps.

Hi, unfortunately 2 wakes is fairly normal although you should hopefully be getting towards one then none fairly soon.
My DD2 was a terrible sleeper and I could never work out a schedule for her that seemed to work until I enlisted sarah carpenter sleep. I did the overnight help, as settling her was our issue.
I was also told to up her food intake (she wasn't keen on solids) and to extend the wake windows as she wasn't tired enough for second nap.
Both mine seemed to like to sleep longer in the morning (wasnt till I cut to 1 nap where we got a longer 2+ hr nap). so at 10 months I would do something like:
Morning nap 1hr
Wake window of 3.5 - 4hrs
Afternoon nap 1hr
Wake window 4hrs till bed (this got longer till they dropped down to 1 nap)

When we got my daughter down to sleeping through, if she would wake in the night I'd just leave her to stir for a bit and miraculously she'd actually go back off on her own. The more you leave them to stir and have a little groan the more they get used to getting back off to sleep. Obviously, if they're screaming their heads off they'll need you.

Good luck xx

@skkyelarkthank you so much for this info! I usually aim to get her to sleep for 7pm and she is pretty much always shattered and falling asleep whilst feeding because she’s had a rubbish (and short) nap at lunch time. The times you’ve suggested there seem much more realistic so she’s not overtired, I’ll give this a go 😊

This sounds perfectly normal for a 10 month old. And I hate to say it, but it will definitely get worse than this when you hit teething molars and dropping naps, etc. I wouldn’t try to change anything about baby’s routine, just go to bed at 7pm! If you have older children and a partner, your partner can sort them out and the house, and then you have 3-4 hours of sleep already before the first wake up.

@Geranium1984thanks so much for this - yep sounds very similar to your experience. I’ve a couple of sleep books and tried to follow the recommended schedules but none seem to sit well with her. I haven’t tried letting her sleep for longer in the more and extending wake windows so will give that a go.
interesting what you say about food as we are still working on that. Some days she’s happy to eat but then others she’s not that bothered. I’ll maybe focus on this and feed her up.
would you feed back to sleep if she woke up during the night? Or would you use resettling methods such as pat on the bum etc?
Thanks again for all your help xx

Yes my son was a text book sleeper so DD2 really threw me, and at 2.5y still does! She's only ever slept 10hrs overnight so we definitely need to have longer awake times and she's fine with it.
I think if she's not quite 10 months old then 2 wakes isn't too bad. I'd initially leave her to grumble and try get back to sleep on her own but if she's really crying out, feed then leave her to settle herself to sleep (dont put her back to sleep). Once you get towards 11mo, I'd shush pat or whatever works to get her back to sleep if she woke before say 1am, or whatever your limit is. Then if waking in the second half of the night give her a feed and back in the cot awake. Hopefully this will get you down to one wake. X

I honestly feel your pain!
When DS was a baby we had split nights .. every night.
He'd wake up at 2.30amish and often wouldn't go back to sleep until 4.30/5 then up again an hour later.
After that scenario he woke at 4.30 for the day every morning and honestly we tried everything we possibly could and nothing worked.
They just work it out eventually. By the time he was 14 months he was sleeping through but waking around 5ish and now he's 2 and he wakes about 6/6.30 but not a peep all night so I'm content with that!
Hang in there, it will get better, just keep with your routine

@Geranium1984ok perfect, thank you for your advice, ill give it a go. She seems equally as frustrated as me with it so I really feel for her.
You're right, she’s a completely different baby to my first so it’s thrown me a bit xx

@NixieDustoh no that sounds horrendous! It feels like an eternity at the time doesn’t it? It’s reassuring to know it’s not just me and things do get better… just what I needed. Thank you xx

Hi @Nellym25 just jumping on here. I feel your intense pain. My little girl is 10 months old today and last night did a split night from 1am til 4, then woke at 5 and I had to take her into my bed until 6.20 (when she wakes on the button every morning regardless of what has happened the night before ).
We did a whole month of split nights in February and we hired Lucy wolfe. I really thought it would cure everything have heard so many great reports. It didn't work at all, it made things worse to begin. The we gave up on the sleep training, went back to letting her fall asleep on our knees before putting her into bed and things improved drastically but now we back to both hourly wakings and split nights at least once a week.

I've tried everything a bottle, our bed, her cot, sleep training , music, no music, white noise, no white noise, blackout blinds , lamp on, lamp off etc. I've had no success.
@NixieDust did you do anything to improve your situation? I feel like I'm losing my mind ;)

Sorry I cant come with more advice. But just to say everyone tells me to do CIO and I'm not doing that even though the lack of sleep is torture

@CTJEAh this sounds so hard, you must be shattered! It really does take over doesn’t it! Hoping you have some support to pick up with the day to day when you’re spending so much time awake throughout the night 🤞
As for CIO, I have heard the same. And whilst I hear many have success, I also have friends who have tried it and it has worked initially, but later down the line sleep has regressed again. There are withdrawal methods, I wonder if that might help?
I do think that some of our wakings is just that she wants som comfort in knowing I’m there, she can self settle and sometimes just a pat on the bum
bum or shh from the side of the cot can help.
I have tried a new day sleep pattern as recommended here and it has definitely helped with getting more a sleep. Hoping it will soon help the nights 🤞

Mine is the same age. She sleeps roughly 90 min around 9:30/10am and another 90min-2h in the afternoon around 2:30 and sleeps through the night solidly.

She’s just started waking in the middle of the night between 11 and 3 once and is absolutely ravenous. We feed her and she’s right back to sleep. I assume it’s a growth spurt. I’m not sure I’d cut back on naps at this time and wake her - she may be having a growth spurt.

@Rtmhwalesthanks for this info 🙂 what time do you put her to bed? X

Glad to hear things have improved a bit @Nellym25 – hopefully they will continue going in the right direction as the new routine beds in and you can tweak it to suit her!