Sending 7mo to nursery with no routine

[StanleyR38]

DD starts nursery in 3 weeks time with some settling in sessions scheduled for next week.

However for the past 2 months I’ve been trying to get us in a routine so I could at least give nursery some info on feed and nap times.

However I don’t think we ve ever had more than 3 consecutive days the same. Bedtimes can vary as she just doesn’t seem tired some days, so a late bedtime can make a later wake up time which then moves the whole day along. She really resists naps some days so a poor nap day means an early bedtime sometimes meaning a different wake up time. So all this moves feed times around.

Do I need to be strict and wake her up at x time everyday? I supposed I’ve answered my own question as i’ll realistically have to do that for nursery - just pains me to wake her when she looks peaceful!

Any other insight? Suppose feeling guilty and embarrassed that I’ll be giving nursery no insight into my DD!

8 month old here. Yes, as painful as it is, waking him at the same time every day worked for us. It's shit as some days I can see he would love a lie in and I'd love to have brekkie in peace....

To be fair OP 7 months is really young still, I don’t think we had a really consistent routine until closer to 1 for all the same reasons you suggested so I wouldn’t worry too much! A routine doesn’t have to be exact times, it can be more general than that so rather than “has a 1 hour nap at 10am, and feeds at 9am, 12pm and 3pm” your “routine” could be that he has for example roughly 2-3 hour wake windows and that he feeds roughly every 4 hours.

Being at nursery will probably help with a routine naturally though. Once you have to start the day at a certain time & once every day has structure it is much easier xx

Thanks I think I’m going to have to start putting an alarm on 😫

To be fair she has been waking up between 6am and 7am recently regardless of bedtime but she sometimes faffs with her first feed - not immediately hungry if feeds after 3am so think that throws us off. But need to get a good feed in her before setting off around 8am - currently ebf with no sight of her taking a bottle 😔😣 which is a whole other problem. That and wake windows which are shocking - can go 5 hours at times, and only take 2 naps instead of 3.

Going to have to prepare myself for some tears I think to get mornings more structured. Will try waking her at 6:45 initially and see how that goes. It’s awful to think I’d be sending her off without a full feed but secretly hoping that might encourage her to take a bottle when she gets there.

Being a first time mum quickly realising how underprepared I feel at each key event in her life 🙁

She’ll get into a routine in nursery. I found we ended up adopting nurseries routine at home and not vice versa.

If she’s always up in time for you to get her ready for nursery then I honestly wouldn’t worry to much. She’ll get her a semi-routine from there and tbh if you say to nursery ‘she naps at 11’ but she starts falling asleep at 10, they’ll let her go.

Please don't worry OP. It's already very hard work parenting a baby of that age without adding pressure on yourself to shoehorn her into a routine.

Even if she was in a routine there's every chance that things would change in the nursery setting.

Be kind to yourself.

7 months is when we transitioned to 2 naps as well and it's a bit painful for a while as they can't quite stay awake long enough but also there aren't enough hours in the day for 3 naps.

We ended up with a 6pm bedtime for 2 weeks.

I wake my 8 month old at 6.30 every day now. Even an extra 20 minutes throws off bedtime too much.

Routine doesn't matter but definitely ask the nursery what the options are for sleep and prepare your baby for that.

Thanks everyone! Nursery have said they’ll follow our routine (!) but like some of you said, hoping she’ll develop her own routine there as it’ll be a complete 180 on what she’s used to. Most days it’s just me and her so I think a room full of other children to get used to will make her nosy to the point she won’t to miss out initially, then perhaps make her tired she’ll have regular naps.

She’ll be going for 3 full days but considering putting half days annual leave in for her first week to do mornings only to help her transition slightly.

I always thought I’d be quite a strict parent who could emotionally detach from these kind of things but I feel guilty as hell that I’m almost throwing her in to the big wide world with no help 😭 Doesn’t bode well for the next 20 years or so 😂

Honestly lovely I was the same when I first sent my DD. But guess what, she loves it!! She’s 3.5 now and has been going since 8/9 months and can’t wait for her nursery days. Like you it was just me and her and I’ll be honest we had 0 routine!

They say they’ll follow your routine and I’m sure it’s useful as a basis especially when they start. But in reality they have nap times etc and the children just all fall into whatever they do.

I wouldn’t worry about it. Our routine was there wasn’t a routine. My partner at the time worked shifts and I had a hideously long commute that was constantly longer/shorter depending on traffic. We managed!

The nursery will have their own routine anyway in terms of set snack and meal times and her naps will fall in around those.

Thanks all! I hope she’ll just adapt to their schedule around solids and then will just have to get them to try her with a bottle in between.

Know from past experience that within 3 weeks I’ll probably have a new problem with her and then wonder what I was fussing about! Everyday feels like we are getting nowhere but tonight was the first time ever she’s not fed to sleep at bedtime, so sure other changes will start appearing.

i’ll come back and update in a month or so as to how we get on - personally find past threads with no updates annoying as always makes me wonder if there’s been a positive outcome or not 🙂

We never had a routine and my DS went to nursery at 6months 3 days a week, full time at 9months. Nursery developed his routine and then we half fell in line at weekends. In some ways I think it made it easier for nursery for us just to say “whatever works” because then they could nap times that suited their activities etc. it’s worked well for us. On weekends we are still fairly flexible and led by him, but he can also work around stuff we have going on so we don’t feel constrained. Nursery weaned him off day time milk for us and also to a single nap, we just follow their lead haha!
Waking up, we just have to do at a certain time to get to work and nursery. Probably not what he’d like, but I don’t like my alarm either!

For us the most important things are wake windows and feeding times. So for us he has WW of 3.5hr(roughly) and milk every 3 hours. so when I drop him off I let them know when he's next due. I don't worry about bed time it varies due to naps

@Maraudingmarauders no milk in the day and only one nap actually sounds pretty inappropriate for a 9 month old, I wouldn't be that happy with that nursery.

I have a baby of a similar age and our routine is completely baby led. I'm not stressing myself out trying to stick to a routine.

Although we had our routine when DT’s started nursery at six months old, we went along with the nursery routine and DT’s fitted into that.

Honestly a routine would help you so much, even without nursery in the mix! A 7-month old shouldn't be resisting naps, your child sounds confused. Have a set bed time, 6.30/7pm is good place to start, and then let them naturally wake, and then naps fall into place during the day (2 naps until about age 1, then 1 nap until about 3). I have almost never woken our children (3 kids so been through it a few tines!), unless we needed to get somewhere for certain time. Waking a peacefully sleeping child is crazy in my opinion!

Nurseries usually follow their own routine, otherwise it would be chaos. Children eat, sleep and play at certain times.

Honestly, I would not stress about any of this at all. A lot changes between between 7 and 12 months. No point trying to force a routine as it will be different in a month or two. Nursery will have their own routines and she will slot into them. All you need to be able to do is get out the door on time in the morning, so practice the getting up and doing breakfast, packing bags, a few days before. Otherwise, just enjoy your last month off together.

No, it wasn’t immediate - he’s now 20months so it’s been a process?? I’m very happy with his nursery.