Which school would you choose.

[Helluvabrush]

So DC is currently at a school nursery since last September.

I applied for primary schools in January, there are a few things about the one he is currently at that I wasn’t completely sold with so I put it as second choice.
First choice was a school that we visited before nursery started and loved it but it’s a little further in terms of distance.

We got placed with first choice school and now I’m doubting myself.

Since the applications went in, DC has made little friends at his current place and I feel awful at the thought of taking them away from friends to go to a different school.

The school we have been placed with is an objectively better school, I get a great feeling from it and it has a great vibe, teachers are lovely. But it is slightly further than the current one and has no outdoor green space, multiple yards that they utilise for different activities and they have the use of a local sports field nearby for big sports days etc. But no onsite field/trees etc.

which school would you choose? The current one where child has made a couple of friends, is closer and has outdoor green space.
Or the slightly further one, better school but no outdoor green space and child will be starting from scratch.

Thank you.

Why don’t you visit them both again to see how you feel?

I’ve just visited the first choice one again and still love it, but the lack of outdoor green space is putting off DC dad, he thinks the sporting options will be limited whereas I think that’s a really small part of school life and they seem to do okay with using the local sports field.
The other one I obviously see on a daily basis as DC goes to nursery there and it’s fine but I don’t love it. There are things that put me off.
But I also don’t want to traumatise my DC by taking them away from friends.

You should find out how many of his friends are definitely staying at the current school.
You don't want to pick it and then discover several are actually going to different schools.

There are two friends in particular that he talks about and plays with the most and they’re both staying at the current one.

I wouldn't worry too much about friends. DS went to school nursery. By the time he started Reception in September, he had pretty much forgotten the nursery friends. They weren't all in his Reception class either (3 form school).

My kids go to 'concrete' schools with no grass. I would prefer grass and fields, but it doesn't seem to hold them back. They still do sports.

How much further away is the school? Do you know anyone who goes there, to see if they have less of the issues of the current school?

What are the things that put you off the nursery school? Do you know whether the nursery school still has places available if you change your mind about the first choice school?

I think green space is really nice to have but I don't think it would put me off a good school. I also wouldn't worry much about friends at this stage either. We have kept in touch with a couple of my son's friends from nursery who went to different schools, but my son had no problem settling into reception and has made a nice group of new friends.

Go with the school you loved. He inevitably will make totally new friends when school starts anyway and you can maintain those preschool friendships outside of school. Best of both worlds.

Go with the better school.

He won't even remember his nursery friends in a few years.

Aww OP, I could have written this! We are in the exact same situation. We are moving slightly closer to the new school and so I put it as first choice not expecting to get it, and now I feel so guilty about taking her away from her current school and all her little friends! I’m reassured though by people that its quite normal and she’ll hopefully make loads of new friends easily, so fingers crossed that is the case, but solidarity because the mum guilt is real!

Thank you for the replies everyone, to answer a few questions, there are definitely still school places at his current primary.

I can’t really put my finger on exactly what puts me off his current setting, just a general slightly off feeling I get. I don’t get as good of a feeling from the teachers either I guess.

I know that’s not much to base the decision on but it’s quite a strong feeling I get.

God it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one struggling with these decisions.
The mum guilt is debilitating isn’t it.

realistically I know that he’ll be fine but I feel awful at the thought of him being off for the holidays then telling him he’s going back to a different school to his little friends he’s made, I’m not sure how to explain it.

Children often aren't allowed on the grass for months of the year so whilst it is a nice to have I wouldn't place too much store on it.

I would go with your gut feeling- so sounds like your first choice.
I wouldn’t worry too much about friends, they make new friends so easily at that age

Same, it’s hard to word it in a way they understand isn’t it. I’ve been trying to be matter-of-fact with it- so you go to preschool now, and soon you will stop preschool and go to reception, in a different place. She did ask if her friends would be there and I said I think she’ll get to make some new friends, but she’ll still have her friends from now. It’s so far away though that I don’t think she really ‘gets’ it (or is that bothered currently- i’m sure we are more bothered than them!!)

My daughter is coming to the end of reception. She went to a nursery in the next town and school in our town, there were four from her nursery start at the school. She regularly plays with one of them but has had nothing to do with the other two she was close with him in nursery too. She's made lots of new friends and settled in nicely. There were 7 different nursery settings feeding into the class if 30 children so none of the children knew more than a couple of other kids but they have blended nicely and several little friendships groups have started to form. My daughter spends her time across 2-3 groups depending on her mood mixing between running around with the boys, the quieter kids and occasionally a group of less girly girls.

Go to the better school. Friends will be made just as easily and if you keep in contact with parents there are extra friends to meet up with. Also as the current school still has places a move back if necessary should be fine.

How far is the further school? How long is that going to is it gong to take to get there? Can you walk or do you need to drive?
What after school activities and wrap around care is currently avaliable at both?

I know school choice is difficult but honestly I wouldn’t think twice about the friend issue. They are tiny kids - in a year he won’t even remember their names. Most kids no no one or only one or two before starting school. They make friends quickly and that won’t necessarily even be with kids from their nursery be use there will be new children whom they may get on better with. He certainly won’t be traumatised!

You can continue to have play dates with the nursery kids. And if you want him to know kids going in - I found people whose children were starting at the same school via a local Facebook parenting group. We all met up a couple of times in the couple of weeks before school started so the kids had a couple of familiar faces when they started out.

Ultimately, your son will be at primary school for 7 years and is there to learn as well as play. I would pick the one I liked the most and where I thought the teaching was best. My deciding factor was whether I thought the head was good as a lot stems from the leadership. 7 years is a long time to be at a rubbish school.

Also - you can always change schools. Kids change school all the time. It’s really not as big a deal as it feels right now. Why not try the school you like the most and if you don’t love it or he isn’t settling, move him. Sounds like the year hasn’t even filled at the current school so it shouldn’t be that difficult.