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Sleep. Help. Please.

4 replies

Justanothercyster · 07/05/2025 14:58

Hello all,

I just need to hear it externally and some ideas, but I'm getting a bit fed up now.

Long story short, I have 2 girls, oldest is 3.5 years and has always been an amazing sleeper, slept through from 7 months, night weaned herself, always been put down awake etc etc. Second one is 15 months and always been a worse sleeper, but not difficult. Wakes twice, has a bottle, goes back down, always been put down awake and very independent when falling asleep.

I'm now getting to the point where we would like another but wondering if there's any point and whether we'd never get any sleep lol. 3yo now needs to be holding our hand to fall asleep, wakes in the night and won't go back to sleep unless in our bed, with the very occasional whole night in her own bed.

The 15 mo still won't go back to sleep in the night without a bottle, and just cries and cries until we give her one, then once she's had it she's fine and sleeps instantly.

How to I counteract all these survival habits we've created :( is there any hope? Will we ever see a full night sleep again?

They started in separate rooms, and now share a room as of the last few months, neither situations made any difference. Black out, white noise, good naps (younger one, 3yo doesn't nap anymore).

Help :( or just cry with me haha

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 07/05/2025 15:03

“The 15 mo still won't go back to sleep in the night without a bottle”

Do you give her a bottle of milk? You say she “cries and cries” until you give her one - try giving her a bottle of water. At the moment, you’re making it worth her while to wake up: maybe water wouldn’t be such an incentive but she’d still have the comfort of a bottle. I can’t offer much good advice - if you want another baby, have one, but resign yourself to many more broken nights. I remember a friend of mine asking what age children slept through the night, and I said, about eight….(DS is now nearly 40, so those days well and truly behind me!)

BearClaire · 07/05/2025 15:49

Oh, mama, I feel you! Those survival habits can really sneak up on you and leave you feeling totally drained. It sounds like you’re in the thick of it right now.

Juggling two little ones is definitely a marathon, not a sprint, and those sleep regressions can feel like they last forever. But honestly, with a bit of expert guidance, it is possible to gently shift things. There are many resources online to help with this. I’ve personally looked at sleep scheduling experts’ blogs and found some great tips. Can have a look and come back with some links if you think it’’'ll help. Don’t lose hope! You absolutely deserve to get some proper rest. Hang in there, you’re doing great!

dontcomeatme · 07/05/2025 15:55

I second giving her water instead of milk. Or even better give her a cup. DC wake in the night not for the actual milk, it's the comfort of suckling at the bottle. Give her a cup of milk/other type bottle she will drink from. My DS slept through when i took the bottles away x

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Justanothercyster · 07/05/2025 20:30

@sesquipedalian @dontcomeatme we've tried the water trick, big no from her. Tried cups, different teats in the bottle, everything, biiiiiiiig screams

@BearClaire yes please!

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