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Original poster

My toddler still doesn’t sleep! Any recommendations for a sleep coach?

21 replies

blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 07:58

I’m desperate for help. Has anyone got any recommendations for a sleep coach for some gentle methods to help my toddler sleep? He wakes 4-6 times a night and wants to be carried around our house and can be awake for 1-2 hours at night sometimes. He also still demands to be breastfed (which I’m trying to give up!). The bad nights are affecting me and my partners relationship. Thank you! Any recommendations welcome!

OP posts:
dontcomeatme · 07/05/2025 08:04

How old is your toddler OP? Big difference between 1YO and 3YO in regards to sleep expectations

Original poster
blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 08:09

He’s just turned 2

OP posts:
Original poster
blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 08:11

To be more precise - he’s 27 months, it feels
like he’s just turned 2 to me!

OP posts:

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dontcomeatme · 07/05/2025 08:12

Is he waking specifically to be BF? If he wakes and you feed him straight away does he go back to sleep or still need walking around? I found as soon as I took the boob away my DS slept through! Wasn't anything worth waking up for. Is he not super tired during the day?

SJM1988 · 07/05/2025 08:15

My eldest woke alot (not BF but still had milk alot). I reduced the milk available eventually dropping it. He still woke up a few times but drastically less than before and it slowly got better. He didn't sleep through until nearly 5 though.

2 years is still really young. I co-sleep with my youngest at least half the week still and she is just over 3 years now.

Iloveeverycat · 07/05/2025 08:16

Do you try to get him back in his room with my 4 we had a cot mattress on the floor next to our bed they came in and went to sleep. It was just separation anxiety. They grew out of it eventually. We did this so we could get some sleep.

Tree6543 · 07/05/2025 08:17

Just chill mama or sleeping bunnies
I sleep trained just after 1. Continued breastfeeding but not overnight too. Changed my life, mental health and relationship. Never feel guilty

Original poster
blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 08:19

A mix, he often wakes to specifically breastfeed and sometimes doesn’t want my milk but just wants to be picked up and carried around and has a big tantrum if we don’t do exactly what he says - eg walk into the living room with him. He’s so heavy now my arms ache from carrying him but if I put him down he has a tantrum and proceeds to injure himself - bang his head against the wall, throw himself around. Yes he’s often tired during the day, especially on days he goes to nursery - he only sleeps 50 mins there, at home he can nap 1.5 hours - 2 hours easily. Im trying to wean but it’s not going well. I’ve been trying for months.

OP posts:
lucybloom · 07/05/2025 08:22

blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 07:58

I’m desperate for help. Has anyone got any recommendations for a sleep coach for some gentle methods to help my toddler sleep? He wakes 4-6 times a night and wants to be carried around our house and can be awake for 1-2 hours at night sometimes. He also still demands to be breastfed (which I’m trying to give up!). The bad nights are affecting me and my partners relationship. Thank you! Any recommendations welcome!

Oh, I really feel for you – sleep struggles with toddlers can be absolutely exhausting and it’s so hard when it starts to affect your relationship and day-to-day life. You’re definitely not alone in this.
We went through something very similar with our little one. He was waking multiple times a night and wanted to be held or fed back to sleep, and I remember feeling like we’d never get a full night’s rest again. What helped us most was focusing on really gentle, gradual changes – things like a consistent bedtime routine, keeping the sleep environment calm and dark, and slowly reducing night feeds (which is so tough, I know!).
I also found it helpful to connect with other parents going through the same thing, just to know I wasn’t alone and to pick up new ideas. If you want, I’m happy to share more about what worked for us or just chat – sometimes a bit of support makes all the difference.
Hang in there, it really can get better. Sending lots of strength your way!

Groundhogday2025 · 07/05/2025 08:26

Does he still day time nap and how long for? What’s his schedule like? If you are getting wake ups and split nights I’d suggest he is getting too much daytime sleep/may be starting to drop the need for a daytime nap altogether. I’d start with the daytime sleep and consistently start capping it every day. If that is the problem you should start to see results in a week or two.

Original poster
blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 08:56

thanks everyone for you responses, really appreciate all of them. We still have co-slept until recently, now he sleeps with my husband because we hoped that it would stop the night wakings a bit but it’s made no difference! I just end up walking back and fourth between bedrooms. I feel like a get a work out in during the night because of the calories I burn walking and lifting him! The length of the naps during the day make zero difference to how he sleeps at night. Whether he sleeps 40 mins (at nursery sometimes!) or 2 hours, he still wakes multiple times. I think it’s a combination of separation anxiety (only mum will do to rock/ feed back to sleep - he won’t be with my husband or let him calm him at all!) and also just wanting my milk. It’s so so tough saying no to feeding him at night (I’ve managed to cut day feeds completely). But his screaming is relentless so I feel like I’m doing him some mental damage by refusing his form of comfort. It’s so so hard. All my friends toddlers don’t have this issue so I feel completely alone with the problem! We have a consistent routine - bath, story, cows milk, bed (where I feed him to sleep!).

OP posts:
lucybloom · 07/05/2025 09:02

blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 08:56

thanks everyone for you responses, really appreciate all of them. We still have co-slept until recently, now he sleeps with my husband because we hoped that it would stop the night wakings a bit but it’s made no difference! I just end up walking back and fourth between bedrooms. I feel like a get a work out in during the night because of the calories I burn walking and lifting him! The length of the naps during the day make zero difference to how he sleeps at night. Whether he sleeps 40 mins (at nursery sometimes!) or 2 hours, he still wakes multiple times. I think it’s a combination of separation anxiety (only mum will do to rock/ feed back to sleep - he won’t be with my husband or let him calm him at all!) and also just wanting my milk. It’s so so tough saying no to feeding him at night (I’ve managed to cut day feeds completely). But his screaming is relentless so I feel like I’m doing him some mental damage by refusing his form of comfort. It’s so so hard. All my friends toddlers don’t have this issue so I feel completely alone with the problem! We have a consistent routine - bath, story, cows milk, bed (where I feed him to sleep!).

We went through something very similar with our toddler. For us, what helped was focusing on really gradual changes and being as gentle as possible with ourselves and our child. Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone and that other parents are facing the same struggles can help a bit. I also remember feeling guilty about making changes or saying no to certain comforts, but over time, small steps like keeping the bedtime routine calm and predictable, and slowly reducing how much we intervened at night, did start to help.
If you ever want to talk more about what worked for us, or just need to vent, I’m more than happy to chat – sometimes just sharing the load makes a difference. Hang in there, you’re doing an amazing job and your little one is lucky to have such a caring mum. Sending lots of strength your way!

dogcatkitten · 07/05/2025 09:03

Is he sleeping too much in the day and not tired when he goes to bed? I had a very wakeful child, stopped napping very early and was awake quite late in the evening, but would then sleep through to 6 am. It was a nightmare if they went to bed not tired. As an adult now they are still a night owl, just never seemed to need as much sleep as most children or now as most adults.

Fushia123 · 07/05/2025 09:14

https://sleepwavesconsultancy.com.au/
I hear she is very good. Good Luck.

Sleep Waves Consultancy

https://sleepwavesconsultancy.com.au

mindutopia · 07/05/2025 09:24

What happens if you say no to feeding him, and then sit in his room in a chair with him? Or bring him into bed with you and then you just stay in the bedroom? No walking around the house.

It sounds like you need to enforce some gentle but firm boundaries. No more nighttime feeds and he will stay in his room (or in your room, if you co-sleep) until he goes to sleep.

No more of this trying to night wean for months. No more carrying around the house. You can say no and set limits that will keep him safe (remove anything he might thrash into in the bedroom). You can your partner can do it in turns so you both get a stretch of sleep. I think sometimes we panic that we are being too harsh or firm, but actually it’s the stretching it out and not just ripping the plaster that makes it worse.

lucybloom · 07/05/2025 09:39

This was something that helped me for better sleep with my baby : after the 4 week sleep course I could finally sleep :whop.com/healthy-sleep-for-new-parents/

Mix56 · 07/05/2025 09:47

See a Cranial Osteopath,
It was life changing for my Dd, & for me after 4 years of sleepless nights

Original poster
blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 10:44

mindutopia · 07/05/2025 09:24

What happens if you say no to feeding him, and then sit in his room in a chair with him? Or bring him into bed with you and then you just stay in the bedroom? No walking around the house.

It sounds like you need to enforce some gentle but firm boundaries. No more nighttime feeds and he will stay in his room (or in your room, if you co-sleep) until he goes to sleep.

No more of this trying to night wean for months. No more carrying around the house. You can say no and set limits that will keep him safe (remove anything he might thrash into in the bedroom). You can your partner can do it in turns so you both get a stretch of sleep. I think sometimes we panic that we are being too harsh or firm, but actually it’s the stretching it out and not just ripping the plaster that makes it worse.

Edited

I say no to feeding and he screams and screams like he’s being murdered (who knows what the Neighbours must think!) and throws his body around like the world is about to end! If we stay in the bedroom he climbs out of the bed and bangs on the bedroom door. He is incredibly determined and strong willed. We both can’t sleep when he’s screaming because he is so loud so taking it in turns doesn’t really work unfortunately, he also just screams for me and my partner cannot do anything to calm him down. I agree stretching it out is probably worse, it’s just super hard to see him in so much distress.

OP posts:
Original poster
blossomhoney2 · 07/05/2025 10:44

Mix56 · 07/05/2025 09:47

See a Cranial Osteopath,
It was life changing for my Dd, & for me after 4 years of sleepless nights

Ok interesting! I’ve not thought of this before, thank you. What do they do?

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 07/05/2025 10:57

Try ..
Making sure room is right temperature and he can't take his bedding off - use sleeping suit/bag.
Giving him a warm milk drink before bed.
Swapping to bottle of water when waking in the night - always so as father can alsoattend to thirst.
Checking him for worms.(worm him)
Checking him for ear infection or teething pain. (Dr or pain control)
Using better, more absorbant night time nappies.
Popping him straight back to bed, you pat his back.
Same night time routine at set time every night; same wake up early morning routine.
Outdoor play in nature every morning and afternoon.
One mid day sleep for no more than an hour and a half.
Red light string in his bedroom.
Following a recommended sleep course.
Stick at it; be consistent for months.

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