Potty training advice/when to start

[H1989]

Hello!
I'm completely clueless when it comes to potty training and would love any advice, step by step on where to start and how best to do it.

My daughter is 2, I don't think she's quite ready but I'm beginning to think about it for when she's 2.5/3. I've got the potty, introduced her to it and wiping with loo roll, she helps me flush the toilet etc. But at the moment she's being very difficult with nappy changes, e.g when I ask her if she's done a poo (when I know she has) she says no. And doesn't stay still when changing I have to give her something to watch on my phone otherwise she runs away (no shaming please lol)

Anyway....what age did you start? How did you know they were ready? What steps do I need to take? Anything I should buy (other than potty)? Do I need to take time off work for it?

Thanks!

We started my son just after 3. He was used to going with the other children at nursery to the potty by then, so understood it was a thing. I think he was more than ready by then and one day I just said we are wearing pants today and that was it. It was a week we were at home but to be honest we didn't need to do the whole bare bum at home thing - i think we'd had a long lead up towards it and he was interested and ready.

I had tried with him earlier at 2.5 and it was a disaster - not interested and just weed everywhere! It was worth waiting until he could totally understand and was keen.

Good luck with it all

Also a lot of people on here recommend oh crap - I found the book very anxiety provoking as apparently we'd already broken the rules by having the potty hanging around and waiting until he was 3. But it made no difference in the end I im glad we waited a bit.

Oh that's interesting to know thankyou, we've already got a potty and one of those ones that looks like a little toilet so by the sounds of it I've broken a rule already too! Also get anxiety easily so anything to avoid it is very useful 😅

From an anxiety point of view, know that there's no one right way, right age, etc. If it works for you and your daughter, it's the right way for you. Some do a three day blitz, some go at it gradually, various things in between.

What I would say, particularly as you've introduced the idea of it to your daughter, is don't be afraid to seize the moment and give it a try if she does show an interest. If it doesn't work, you can always go back to nappies for a bit and try again later. If she doesn't like nappy changes, you can also start to casually drop in 'when you do all your wees and poos in the potty, you won't need nappies' in hopes of building motivation.

I'd say it's helpful to at least have a long weekend to tackle it at home, but talk to your nursery or childminder – they seem to vary quite a lot in how much active potty training they expect to do versus how much they expect you to keep the child home or in nappies for child care until they've got it mostly sorted.

Exactly the same with my DD. Absolute disaster when we tried at 2.5 years, but as soon as she turned 3 it was a different story and very few accidents since then. We also talked about the potty and had it around so she knew what it was.

Remember it’s when they’re ready, not us. Good luck 😀

We potty trained our twin girls in October when they were 2.5. The biggest piece of advice I can give is dont try to force it. They need to be 100% ready to do it, or it will be a disaster, and if you force them it will make things worse.
We had a few days at home, didnt leave the house at all. Knickers on, potty out in the living room where they can see it all the time. Its tedious but literally asking every 10 minutes or so, do you need a wee and sit them down. You'll know if shes not ready, because she will sit on the potty, do nothing, then wee on the floor 2 minutes later. At that point I would just leave it and try again in a few weeks.
When they're ready it will just click. I would say give it 3 days. Our girls had a couple of accidents on day one, but after that they just got it. I think if shes still having accidents after a few days and there's more wee on the floor than potty, just wait abit.
Also poos take alot longer, dont expect that to be a quick process. It took ours probably a month to stop holding poos in or going in their knickers. As long as she can get wees pretty quickly, you need to be patient with the poos. Poo goes to poo land is a good video my twins were obsessed with it. Good luck!

This is all very useful thank you. How do you actually know they're definitely ready?

Potty trained by DS at 2yrs4 months. He would tell me he had weed and wanted me to change his nappy after every single wee. Would tell me before he pooed. I wanted to wait longer but it actually came to the point where it was more hassle not potty training him. His communication was very very good though so I think that plays a part. We followed to 3 day method loosely. But I didn't stay in the house for the whole 3 days. By day 2 he got it. I think you know pretty early on if they are going to get it or you need to wait and try again.
Fyi we had a potty hanging around for about 6 months before that. It did no harm!

My DD is dry apart from nights at 2 and 4 months. She initiated potty training herself so we went with it and committed, didn't let her revert to nappies when it got tough. But I do think every child is different.
If we ask her if she needs the potty, she says no, but if we tell her it's potty time she sits on it and does the business.
Yes we had a few accidents but it was mostly OK (apart from the time she wee'd in church we don't talk about 😂)

Much earlier than nowadays
.it was quite normal to hold very young babies over a potty in the 70s.. nurseries didn't accept children in nappies.. weirdly,all 4 of mine were 2years 3 months.. they are never "ready".. I used washable towelling nappies for mine, completely different to disposables. I refused to fork out the money for them..

The eric website has lots of good advise which you might find useful: eric.org.uk/potty-training/

My daughter was just over 2.5 years old and had mastered it in a few days, at least for pees. Poos and being trained outwith the home took a little longer but not much. She had been dry through the night for quite a while which I think helped, as in getting up in the morning with a dry nappy, but I know this takes longer for some children and some get dry through the night after they achieve it during the day.
We had kids books about potty training which she liked to look at. She also chose some nice pants. I bought a potty and just left it sitting in the living room and we talked about it but I never once told her to go, honesty I put no pressure on her at all. One day she just pulled down her nappy and peed in it the potty (she was in easy up type nappies). After a lot of talking about it and playing with it she just decided she was ready and that was it, it really was that easy. She used the toilet shortly after that, then after another few days she did a poo and that was it. We had a few weeks of wearing pull ups on outings and only going places where we could easily access a toilet!
I really think the key thing is being led by them, when they are ready. If you are having to pressure or coerce at all they probably aren’t ready.

We did Oh Crap at 2.5 and with hindsight, it would have been just fine with DS at just turned 2. This method doesn't really believe in 'readiness', i.e. part of what you're teaching them is to work out when they need to go, so they don't have to know it already. The advantage of doing it earlier is they potentially may be a bit more compliant. So it's worth getting and reading the book now to see if the method appeals to you, even if you don't end up using it. The markers the author recommends for 'are they ready' are: do they have the attention span to sit and sing the alphabet song, and do they have the motor skills to be able to pull their pants down and up. Not so much to do with whether they're enthusiastic about potties.

I've got a younger DS and if his communication skills are as good as his brothers when he's turning 2 I'll probably just train him earlier.

My little boy took forever 6minths plus and I started trying when he started sleeping dry through the night consistently. Got there eventually.

I don't think you do know if they're totally ready, we thought our daughter was ready about 2ish (May) because she was showing an interest in the potty but we were due to go on a big holiday that would not have been conducive with potty training so we delayed until we came back from that (August) and she refused to go near the potty! We ended up attempting it over Christmas since it was a long break, and she took to it really well despite showing no real clear signs.
We were planning to wait until the weather was nicer to try again if Christmas didn't go well though. So she would've been around 3ish

I’ve just potty trained my little boy who is 2.5. We had left a potty around on an evening after we got home and on a weekend but didn’t actually go for it fully. Then one day I left his bottom half clothes off and kept asking him every 30 min. He’s got it now and done great and it’s been 2 weeks. He had a few accidents the first day and then one accident a day for 3 days and then hasn’t had any since. He’s not fully mastered poops yet as I don’t think he realises they are always coming but we are getting there slowly. Weve been out too but just take the potty with us and have a wee in the car once we get out and another wee when we get back in the car. I agree with others they are either ready or they aren’t. I was fully prepared to give it a few days and then stop if he didn’t get it.

I tried with my daughter at 2y3m but she wasn’t quite ready. Started again at 2 1/2 and she nailed it within a week. We got rid of nappies completely apart from naps/bedtime (called them sleepy pants to differentiate). Left her bare from waist down and watched her like a hawk through the day for signs of needing/starting to wee/poo and put her straight on the potty when we saw these. Asked if she needed to wee now and again but didn’t want to bore with asking till it became white noise to her. Took her about two days and she started going to it herself. Only had two accidents. We just stayed home the first few days then started doing short trips out and went from there. My Carry Potty is handy for out of the house.
We stopped doing nap nappies first when she was consistently dry and then same for nights. Was probably about three months after starting that she was nappy free fully.

DGD potty trained herself at 22 months. She had been bought pants and a potty ready for planned training over Easter weekend however a couple of weeks before she announced that she wanted to wear pants and use her potty. A couple of accidents on day 1. Since then no accidents either at home, nursery or out socially. She knew she was ready and initiated change so no stress involved to her or involved adults. I think it helped that her speech is good and she could tell us she needed a wee or poo.
interestingly my DD told nursery not to nag her by asking her every 30 minutes if she needed a wee as she knew this would annoy her.

We potty trained my DS a few days after his 3rd birthday. I had held off as I expect him to lead the process really. his language was always very good so I suppose I thought he would show me when he was ready. Once he turned 3 I kinda lost patience.

One morning I just said no more nappies. He did every single wee on the potty straight away and no accidents at all for at least the first month. It was emotional though...and took bribery and tears over several days to convince him he didn't need a nappy.

He did with old poos though...and that was a much longer safa to get sorted ...and was quite upsetting for all of us. The Eric website is great

I would second the advice of give it a go...if it's a disaster then stop and try again a few months later.

I think I waited too long with my first, and if I had tried sooner it might have been less distressing for him. I'm planning on starting training my youngest DS over the summer -he has just turned 2.

Good luck and be kind to yourself over it all. Every kid is different and there is o ly what is right for you and your DD.