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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Thoughts on this (child’s dad)

10 replies

cheekycee · 07/05/2025 07:41

Opinions please. Obviously this is my version of events I’m sure he has his deluded version.
——————-
my sons dad was abusive so we left. When together he didn’t bother with my son one bit. He held him from time to time for about 5-10 mins and then passed him back as he was “sweating” - he wasn’t he just cba. He was out all the time and was telling me how “the time will come when he bothers with him cause he’s boring right now”. I know many men feel this was so thought it to be true. Anyway abuse got worse so I got the heck out of there with my kids.
he didn’t see our son for 2 months because I told him he couldn’t as he was VERY abusive infront of my kids (DD isn’t his). He didn’t once try to attempt to see my son until other people wanted to(he is very much “do it for social media” type of guy).
he now sees my son every Sunday (when he doesn’t cancel) & recently cancelled his 2 hours a week every Wednesday due to work. He honestly is just pathetic. He knows nothing about our son. He doesn’t ask about him when he doesn’t see him. He just uploads photos to social media (according to my family who have him on there) to make it look like he’s dad or the year.
he is a bully and he has another son who has nothing to do with him anymore as he’s basically an abusive control freak.
he doesn’t have our son over night because he doesn’t want me to go out and have a life (his words).
I really want to get him out of our lives. He’s a liability. Nothing but drama and annoyance. He doesn’t help me out he has my son to take photos of him and upload to FB to show as dad of the year. Is it really my place though to get him out of my life. Should this not be my son’s decision? My gut is telling me to get rid of him out of our life and my heart tells me let my son decide as I don’t want to make such a big decision on his behalf.

OP posts:
Stripeyanddotty · 07/05/2025 15:42

How old is your son?

cheekycee · 07/05/2025 16:03

Stripeyanddotty · 07/05/2025 15:42

How old is your son?

15 months

OP posts:
Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 07:45

Do you receive CM?

cheekycee · 05/06/2025 07:46

Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 07:45

Do you receive CM?

Edited

Nope occasionally he sends some money but it’s £37.50🫣 also he is self employed so dodgie with tax so CMS have quoted he is to pay £4 a month or something might be per week actually I can’t remember. He is well off let’s just say.

OP posts:
Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 07:47

Why would you want your baby to go to someone who was VERY abusive to you?

Don’t ban him. Be happy he seems to only want a very irregular contact with him

Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 07:52

cheekycee · 05/06/2025 07:46

Nope occasionally he sends some money but it’s £37.50🫣 also he is self employed so dodgie with tax so CMS have quoted he is to pay £4 a month or something might be per week actually I can’t remember. He is well off let’s just say.

Go through CMS

cheekycee · 05/06/2025 08:37

Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 07:47

Why would you want your baby to go to someone who was VERY abusive to you?

Don’t ban him. Be happy he seems to only want a very irregular contact with him

Yeah to be honest, I don’t I think I was struggling at the time of this post that my son didn’t have his dad around properly. Since the. I have come to realise he’s got my dad and his uncles to look up to

OP posts:
Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 08:38

No you have misunderstood

why would you actively want a VERY abusive person to have your son overnight so you can “have a life”?

Away2000 · 05/06/2025 09:25

It will probably be better for your son to work out on his own that his dad is useless. However if he’s abusive and potentially a danger to your son then I’d arrange all contact in a supervised place and no overnights.

nisham766 · 05/06/2025 09:31

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