Help with transitions for our 2yo before baby arrives

[elm26]

Hi everyone

Looking for advice on a couple of things.

DD is 2 in a couple of weeks and still sleeps in a cot, she’s never tried to climb out, she sleeps 12 hours, no nightlight, door shut, she loves her bed and sleep. However, shes starting to roll into the sides and wake herself up briefly etc.

We are looking at getting a single floor bed for her, making it all pretty and celebrating “big girl bed” etc and settling her and getting her used to sleeping in it before baby comes in September.

Good or bad idea? Shall we leave her for as long as she’s happy in her cot?

Now, the biggest one is nursery in September or January? Funded hours kick in in September. Would going to nursery suddenly and having a new baby in the home be two big changes for her that would be hard for her to understand/adapt to in the same month? We could delay to January then I’m worried she’ll be used to being home with her baby brother and not want to leave us.

I’m prepared to be told I’m totally overthinking all of this. She was a much longed for child, almost 10 years of back to back miscarriages. She really healed our hearts and I want to make transitions as easy as can be, since being pregnant I’ve been quite anxious and emotional as I never expected to be blessed with another child so making decisions like this feel huge to me.

Thanks in advance for any advice xx

If you think she needs more space I don't think there's too much to get used to transitioning to a bed, it's certainly not going to still be an issue in September if you do it soon. Is she needing to be settled when she wakes up, or does she just turn over and go back to sleep?

With nursery, would you have an option of putting her in a bit earlier and just paying extra for those sessions before the funded hours start? I put my son in nursery in April last year about 6 weeks before I had my second baby. It did take him a few weeks to settle down, so I wouldn't want to be doing that while you've got a brand new baby, but having a day or two a week where you can just look after the baby while you're on maternity leave, especially at the start can really help.

I agree with getting her in nursery even earlier if you can. Can you afford to pay for 1-2months outright so she goes in July? Gets settled before baby comes in Sept? Do not underestimate how much you will enjoy the downtime by being able to only focus on the baby whilst the big one is in nursery, and how much easier any HV / GP / breastfeeding drop in (if you are planning on bf) etc type activities without a bored elder sibling to come along with you. It will massively help your recovery as well knowing your eldest is having fun at nursery whilst you and baby bond and recover.

I agree. Try and start nursery earlier and pay if you can. DD1 went 6 months before my DD2 arrived. She loved going and it really made it easier for me and DD2. If your DD1 has a wobble regarding going to nursery, 1 month is not long to sort it out. I’d try for longer than that.

Regarding bed - yes. She should now have a decent mattress and more space. Put up a fold up/down safety side attachment to stop her rolling out. She might love choosing bed linen and a bed toy. She can give the baby the cot as a present. Get her a new room if you can too.

Thank you everyone. We are currently decorating and after the living room, her bedroom is next on the list. We are going to do it as a surprise as we live in a new build and everything is white and plain right now so she’s staying at my Dad’s for the night and we’re going to still go neutral but warmer and put pictures up of her favourite animals, shelves with her money box, fairy lights etc. she gets really excited over animals and books so we will focus on that.

She does have a really decent mattress, it’s a cot bed so she does have one that’s for a toddler and not hard and uncomfortable like what babies need due to the risk of suffocation but agree that we will buy her a bed now. The cot is needed for baby, this will be our last so we don’t want to buy new for one more use, it’s still perfect will just buy a mattress suitable for baby.

In regards to nursery, it’s term time only so if we started her in June she’d only have 7 weeks before ) weeks off then baby will be here when she goes back or very soon after, shall we still do that do you think? Thanks so much again.

For me - yes, I would start her. Get her used to the routine even if it stops for the summer holidays. You then don’t have trying to settle her into something totally new with a new baby. She might love nursery of course. My DD1 could not wait to get in! DD2 was the opposite! So it can take time.

Bedroom sounds lovely.

I'm in a similar position, albeit my 2 year old is already in nursery.

I want the amount of changes around the baby coming to be as minimal as possible. Ours is still in her cot bed, with the sides up - I don't want to make the change whilst in late pregnancy and cause disruption, so will keep her in the cot for much longer, baby due in May so will be in our room for 6'months anyway. Toddler will move room eventually, I'm planning on sorting the room out July / Aug time, involve toddler and give her a choice of rooms. Ours is the same in that she sleeps so well in her room and cot that I don't want to ruin this!

I can't comment on nursery as ours already goes, and we'll be keeping her in on the same hours initially so she still has her routine when baby arrives

Sometimes it can be best to get dc into new room before baby arrives as they really do think a baby is pushing them out - even if it’s 6 months down the line. Sometimes getting a room sorted with no actual baby pushing them out can be better. However some first born siblings don’t like any change at all and do get jealous. They cannot control this and easy going dc can change and want your attention - a lot. Planning for their feelings does help a bit. I was very surprised how strongly my DD reacted to her sister arriving.

I actually kept my elder child in his cotbed till just after 3, and didn't convert it to a bed until about 6 months after his sibling was born. If she's happy in the cot and mostly sleeps well, I wouldn't rock the boat, to be honest, unless you need the cot for the new baby, in which case you'll want to get her out of it well in advance of giving it to the baby. DS1 could have climbed out, but never did (and indeed still doesn't get out of bed, just yells!). It might be just personality dependent, but I suspect we skipped some of the constant getting out of bed and needing to be taken back phase by waiting longer. When he saw that some of his friends had big beds, he started to say 'I think I am ready for a big boy bed now', which made it feel like his choice rather than ours.

Thanks again for all of your replies.

DD will be in the same room she’s in now just changing decor and was thinking to get a single bed so it lasts her for the foreseeable but I think whilst she’s sleeping 12 hours without getting us up and is comfy and content I’ll leave her as we have the mamas and papas mini cot that will go next to our bed, DD used that for the first 6 months so no rush for her cot for DS.

We are visiting the pre school next monday so will ask them about starting her at the end of June.