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14 month old ignoring me

4 replies

HowManyDucks · 06/05/2025 19:17

Any advice on this?
She is very active (been walking since 9 months). I don't think it's an understanding thing. For example, this evening we were tidying up, she listened and followed instructions beautifully. She regularly walks past things she knows she is not allowed to touch and says 'ah ah' (and doesn't touch them). However, over the last couple of weeks she seems to have acquired selective hearing, especially when we are out. I don't know if it's just because she is so engrossed in what she is doing or whether she is testing boundaries already but I am honestly exhausted. First baby and wasn't expecting to have to deal with toddler behaviour so soon. Any tips would be appreciated. Also had a few mini tantrums appearing when she doesn't get her own way.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
dairydebris · 06/05/2025 23:20

My boy once did this for a couple of weeks and me and my husband got quite angry with him.
Until we noticed that he actually didn't seem to be hearing us, took him to Dr's and he had a double ear infection. No pain at all.
Probably not that for you but it did remind me.

Stichintime · 06/05/2025 23:21

She's asserting her independence. Maybe you're telking too much or using too many words. If not, find a way to get her to listen; crouch down and speak calmly, say stop, or whatever else that works!

migmig · 06/05/2025 23:26

I think they are learning to 'choose' around now. My baby just turned 15 months and she chooses not to hear me now. She also chooses which shoes she wants to wear. And learning to shake her head to show me that she chooses not to eat certain foods. And we've been having tantrums since 12 months. It's exhausting already and it's only the beginning! I need to keep reminding myself to be kind - these baby toddlers don't mean to upset us!

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skkyelark · 07/05/2025 13:48

To be honest, probably a bit of both – sometimes genuinely too engaged to hear you (they mostly have 'single channel attention' at this age and so their ears do more or less turn off if they're focused on something else), sometimes choosing not to do as asked.

Tips: You basically have to be prepared to constantly save them from themselves at this age. Either be in a safe space/'yes' space like a soft play or well-toddler-proofed room (or strapped in a buggy), or you need to be very alert and close enough to intervene fast! If she's fast and a bolter, you may need reins.

For stuff that is not ideal, but generally not dangerous, it helps to accept that she's going to taste-test the sand, the grass, her own sandal, etc., like many, many babies and toddlers before her. Yes, intervene, but don't beat yourself up over it.

Tantrums: At this age, very brief sympathy and acknowledgement 'Oh, you're upset you can't have X' and distract, distract, distract. Most of them are still pretty distractible at this age.

Depending on how communication is going, baby sign language or Makaton can help with frustration because they can't make themselves understood – even a handful of signs can really help, especially for things that aren't necessarily early spoken words, things like eat, drink, more (both of mine also used 'more' to mean 'want'), all done, tired. If she's already using gestures quite a bit and saying a few words, signs might not be worth it at this point, though.

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