How to cope with 3yo and colicky newborn?

[Bunny3489]

My first (now 3yo) was a colicky, sleep hating newborn with CMPA (not diagnosed until 6 months). The newborn days were traumatic to say the least. I’m now expecting my second and I’m terrified of how I’ll manage if I have another baby like my first.

I’m the sort that likes to prepare for the worst so if you’ve been in this unlucky situation, give me all your tips! How did you manage to settle a newborn that screamed for hours a day whilst also giving attention to your 3yo?

With my first, my days were spent rocking, bouncing, calming in a dark room, walking and lots of tears from me. Can’t picture how I’ll do that with a 3yo in tow.

I had colicky newborn and a 3 year old. It was tough. But did lots of baby wearing, got out and about as much as possible. I had special toys for the 3 year old to keep her entertained when I couldn’t. I only got them out when needed so they stayed special (things like stickers and bead threading). And definitely more screen time than I usually like to give but it helped us survive.

I also discovered that a lot of the colick symtpms were actually dairy and soy allergy. I removed these after a month and it made a huge difference.

CMPA baby here too. When I gave up dairy and soy at 2 months he was transformed. So I'd say this time be prepared to cut dairy and soy at 1-2 months if the same symptoms show.

I have no tips as my colicky newborn was just about survival.

But my message of hope is… DC2 might be different. I had exactly your fears but DD2 turned out to be the most chill little thing. Nothing I did, just a different baby.

Sling time and more sling time was how I survived!

@Sunnyglowdays My first lived in a sling once I figured it out so hoping I’ll be more confident to use it from the start this time 🤞🏻 After about 4 weeks I often needed to go to a dark room too (“very alert” baby) so I won’t be able to do that this time if needed. Fingers crossed I won’t need to 🤞🏻

@PlanetOtter I’m praying for this outcome!

@BabyMrSun325 Yes I’ll definitely not hesitate to cut dairy out this time. I ended up being dairy free for 2 years so won’t bat an eye if need to do it again. It’s hard to know how different my first would have been if I’d cut it out sooner or if he still would’ve been difficult! Hopefully if I have another CMPA baby it’ll be the same as your experience in that they’ll be like a different baby.

I'm expecting number 2 after a screamy baby due to silent reflux and multiple food allergies. She was 3 and had counselling to feel prepared to roll the dice on a second.

We are going to have a 5 y age gap for a few reasons so she'll be in school which will help. What the counselling helped us determine was that even if the baby is the same as our daughter we aren't the same. We learnt so much and wouldn't put up with being dismissed as we were with our daughter. I know so much about reflux and food allergies now and feel much more equipped to handle another reflux allergy baby. My daughter hasn't outgrown her allergies so we are broadly a dairy and soya free household already. I'd know to start the food diaries much sooner and push for better reflux meds. I can't say there's no apprehension but I'm hopeful that it will be ok!