advice needed on whether i should carry on with training?

[gingernutlover]

dd is 3 in sept and moves uop to preschool room at day nursery then and i have been told she really needs to train by then at her recent parents evening

then last week they told me when i collected her that her 2 best friends had started training and and that she had taken an interest in using the toilets, having 2 wees in them

i was really pleased at this and thought it was worth a go. She has been in knickers ever since friday and had the following success

firday 3 wees 3 accidents
sat 2 poos 1 wee and 3 accidents
sun 1 poo 3 wees and 2 accidents

this morning she woke up with heavy nappy (normal) and i asked her if she needed to use the potty, she refused and then within a minute did a poo in her knckers, she didnt tell me about the poo, it was only because i noticed her do it that i knew

i then went through the whole poos and wees in the potty thing and reminded her of the sticker chart (nursery started one so thought i should carry on) and she told me she wanted a nappy and didnt want to be a big girl

she did happily choose a pair of knickers though and is wearing thm and has sat on the potty and tried after breakfast

she is getting peed off with me keep reminding her and i am worrying that now maybe is not the right time

i dont mind the accidents but no point having all the stress etc if she notready

what does everyone think? To be honest if nursery hadnmt suggested it i probably wouldnt have started but i do know she has to do it sometime and she is a little girl with a big attitude if you know wht i mean, only does what she wants to if given the choice

Too early for her, it would seem

Nursery are a bit out of order in forcing it, IMO, and comparing her to others

Two of my friends recently left their dcs to train themselves... both decided after their 3rd birthdays that they no longer wanted to wear nappies.... both are still clean and dry (day) with very few accidents

cant work out whether it is too early or if it is dd being a madam this morning

she is at home today and at nursery ret of week i will explain to them that i am willing to give it rest of the week

they tell me that they remind her every 15minutes

i am thinking that if she needs reminding every 15mins and still had 3 accidents with them then maybe is not the time

she does get very engrossed in her play though

they are not forcing me to and they did say tht if she is not trained, she can stay longer in the lower age room

Sept is a long way away really at that age. Just because she may not be ready this month doesn't mean that in July or August or even next month she may be totally ready.

I would be led by her to be honest.

Agree if needing to remind all the time, not the right time. Fine if you have a compliant dc who does what they're told, but not if they are going to get stroppy about it

IMO once they are able to take themselves to the toilet spontaneously and independently, without the need for constant reminding, is when they are effectively 'toilet trained'

thankyou, you have confimed what i suspected, will give her today at home and speak to them tomorrow about it, if by end of week she still needs the constant reminders she is not ready, by then it should be pretty obvious whether she is ignoring the signals or not aware of them

Am in process of training DD - 3 in October but she chose to do it and is fine. DS I tried when the same age as your DD, was a disaster so I left till he was ready and it was so, so quick - but he was then nearly three. I totally agree go with the child BUT don't think two accidents in a day is that bad. DS was up to six accidents when I abandoned it!!x

well update of todays success ish!

3 accidents including the one this morning plus 2 more both of which when she was playing, once hiding behind a door getting excited and once while on the climbing frame at the park

but i have layed off reminding her so much and she has taken herself to the potty pretty much unprompted and done a wee - twice!

so i am taking this as a step forward

I know I always say this - but try not to think of it as something they need to learn. When they are ready they'll do it - you can start at, say, two and a half and it'll take weeks, there's be lots of washing, lots of stress, lots of wet carpets and you'll spend your life saying "Do you need a pee? Are you sure? Shall we just try?' If you leave it another 6 months, they say "Mummy, I don't want to wear nappies any more" and you say "OK, darling - here are some pants and there's the loo" No accidents, no hassle, sorted. You just have to hold your nerve when everybody thinks you should be doing something about it. Think of the wet carpets, smile sweetly at them and WAIT!

seeker i appreciate what you are saying completely but also feel that having now begun i should not give up yet

i am really grateful for everyones opinions and will let dd make her mind up - yesterday she did take herself to potty spontaneously twice and i dont think any child does it with no accidents whatso ever so i wont put her back in na[ppies yet but will watch carefully and see what happens)she is at nursery the rest of the week)

just an update .... for anyone who is interested rofl!

dd has now been training for just over a week and is down to maybe one accident a day, not getting herself to potty on time or having trouble pulling tight trousers down

she also refused to wear her nightime nappy last might and woke up dry and took herself to the potty

sooooooooooo glad i persevered, fingers crossed this lasts