Bedtime routine for 4/5 year old

[Ineedmorecoffee2025]

What is your routine and what time do your four year olds go to bed? Any tips for winding an active brain down to help sleep? Bedtime is currently taking hours :(

Some form of exercise after coming home, later - Teeth toilet shower change etc. Then after that my bed time routine for my son has gotten a little crazy, but it's works really well for us on multiple fronts (sleeping and learning)

I put a load of stuff on his bed 30-45 minutes before sleep time. 2-3 picture books that he likes, a you choose book, an easy phonics book that he can read, some puzzle cards, some maths adding and subtracting cards, a science book, a cardboard clock that we've been using for telling the time, we used to have a days of the week chart, but that has finished now, etc. Etc.

Then he can choose the order to do them (which still really excites him) and then we start to go through each thing one by one. I read him the books, he reads the phonics books, does the puzzles + maths. Etc etc.

I know it seems crazy but for my son, but around 3 and a half I noticed that he was very receptive to focusing and being calm (but very not sleepy!) before bed. Filling that time with a mix of fun and useful stuff has been one of the best things I've done with him. It helps him transition away from playing because he knows he has lots of stuff to do before sleep.. gets him really wound down and mentally tired, and has helped his maths and reading a lot.

It's a bit of effort and probably wouldn't work for every child, but I'd still recomend adding to and extending the "reading before bed" time to include other useful things, if a boy isn't sleepy when the story finishes.

I start around 7pm with 4 yo DD. Bath (every couple days), teeth, let her choose up to 3 books (the number depends on how well she’s listened and done as I’ve asked while getting ready for bed). Read to her, then lights out about 8. I put the same kids meditation from YouTube on every night. As she still co-sleeps with me I lie with her until she falls asleep, I know she should be able to go to sleep by herself now, I’m working up to it! She usually falls asleep within 10 min, very occasionally if she hasn’t been very active that day she’ll struggle to sleep, which she gets very distressed about. In that case I ask her to try for 5 mins, being still, with her eyes closed. If she tries and she still can’t sleep (and this defo won’t be for everyone but works for us) I put on the tv in my room for her and we watch 20 min of something we both like that’s not too exciting. Almost everytime she doesn’t make the 20 min and falls asleep watching it, within about 10 min. I know a lot of parents put similar age kids to bed at 7 but I found this was too early for DD and she wasn’t tired enough. So 8 worked better. She tends to sleep until about 8am

5 yo here but she’s had the same routine since a baby.

though a bit of telly added now she’s older

dinner at 5.30pm, pudding around 6pm. TV and or dancing to songs on Alexa for half an hour, bath at 6.30/6.45 ish. Into PJs around 7 ish. Bedtime stories, 7.15 ish leave the room and put her Yoto on for her to listen to stories. she’s often asleep by 7.30pm. on the odd occasion it’s closer to 8 (if she slept in the morning or accidentally fell asleep on way back from somewhere in the afternoon in the car)

@NJLX2021 I will definitely try this idea! My son is often tired but it takes his brain a long time to wind down from the day to be able to sleep so perhaps something like this will help :)

@Roxietrees yes perhaps a later bedtime is the answer here too. I am probably guilty of trying to rush through bedtime when I’m tired and should allow more time for it. I also stay with my son while he falls asleep.

@Unicornsandprincesses wow, I’m impressed that your daughter will fall asleep alone! Perhaps I should give it a try though. I find Yoto stories work for us if they’re boring enough - the exciting ones seem to wake him up more!